[MadLuv]

One day at a time-
I think we do get to the unaffected stage after we can’t be surprised anymore.  They can still give us a jolt with status changes for a second, but that is just (IMHO) from having to worry if that will affect our forward moving progress. You sound like your more than mentally prepared for anything. I also think our unaffected emotions are based on our acknowledgement that they aren’t who they once were.

[UrsaMajor]

Thanks KayDee, UM and FaithWalker.. Karma is about to hit O'Wife I guess..

So.. xH and O'Wife packed their bags in the Middle East (after 5 years) and moved to xH's town. More specifically, to xH's parents home. The day that I've been dreading has come and, quite honestly, I feel absolutely nothing. I'm not sure if this is down to the overall feeling of numbness that has been with me for a long time (not specifically related to xH's, more of a generic numbness) or because despite still having some of the trauma effects of what he put me through, I don't actually care anymore about them being together.

It will be interesting to see how things unfold for them now..

Sounds like you have graduated to the "observing a bug under a microscope" stage - no emotional involvement or impact - more like morbid curiosity - like watching an impending train wreck safely from a distance away.  Otherwise known as "it is what it is and what it is not is my circus or my monkeys. I have my own life to deal with and that is no longer a part of it."  I agree with KayDee though... Best to just leave them to it because it no longer needs to impact your life.

[One day at a time]

Thanks Kaydee, MadLuv and UM.. At the beginning it feels like we will never get to this stage of, like UM puts it, "observing a bug under a microscope".. But after some events last weekend I feel that I'm definitely there. It's such a relief!!

Journaling..

Nothing really happened with my xH. I saw he looked at my LinkedIn profile, I'm guessing he's looking for a job as he just moved back and he's making sure he doesn't end up in the same company as me as we both work for the same industry.. I saw it as a curious fact, showed it to my partner and we both rolled our eyes up about it. That was it.

But something very sad and potentially VERY triggering happened this weekend. When my life exploded and due to the fact I have no family in this country, I had a number of friends who put their arms around me to get me through. There was a particular couple who were fundamental in my recovery and they became life family to me. I don't want to give their personal details as it's not my story to tell but here is a quick summary...

- A couple of months ago a few of us in the group of friends started to feel this couple was acting a bit strange. Eventually, I sat with one of the spouses (the one that I'm closest to) and he confirmed that his other half was struggling with mental health.. The usual, feeling very sad, losing interest in everything, etc etc but looking after their physique, going to the gym, taking care of looks, etc etc.. My immediate reaction was "this person just turned 40" 
- On Friday night I got a late text to see if I could call over to my closest friend because "important things were happening and he needed to talk". I got there, my friend came out, sat in the car with me and proceeded to tell me that his spouse decided to move out and was leaving the following day.. Only a day before myself and my partner were at their house, making plans for a birthday party we were going to on Saturday night... I mean WTF?
- As you can imagine, my friend was a wreck.. There I was, witnessing someone's life getting blown up to pieces.. I know very well what this pain feels like and I thought I could get thrown into despair, re-living everything I went through, etc etc... But I didn't. I cried for my friend and I will be him and will support him through his journey. Just like he did with me even though he didn't really understand my pain.. He told me he first came to me as he knew I would understand and I do..
- I still haven't seen the spouse but I already got wind of a lot of disrespectful and s%^*& behaviour which doesn't surprise me but I won't tolerate it. To respect my friend's wishes, I won't rip the spouse to pieces and say what I think.. I also know it will not make any difference. Another MLCer goes to lalaland, destroying everyone around. I won't tell my friend everything I know because he's not ready, I will gently prompt him to protect himself and get ready for the journey..

I have often stayed away from newbies' stories here because I was afraid they would trigger me. Remembering what it feels like was something that I was a bit afraid of. I feel what happened with my friend is a lot worse, I see the LBS IRL, I know both the MLCer and the LBS, I know what their marriage and story were like.. Last weekend was filled with tears and hugs as my friend had the rug pulled from under him. But they are no longer tears for me or what I went through. It remains a very sad chapter in my life but I truly feel I'm on the other side. And that gives my friend hope. That some day, he will be OK, there is life on the other side, no matter what happens...

[FaithWalker]

How is your friend doing One Day?  Just catching up after a couple of months absence.