[Watcher]

Thank you UrsaMajor.

You know my therapist really helped me the first time with seeing her. I really liked meeting her and I was very impressed with her however I was already impressed by her because we had communicated for 2 years before we met.

I did like her family and they also impressed me. I was just telling her how I also had toxic inlaws so her entire package she presented was a breathe of fresh air.

We did have plans after that April to see each other again but I canceled on her last minute. Being indecisive and scared to make a decision are hallmarks of being in an abusive relationship.

Yes I went back to my x because her toxicity was normal to me. Here there was a really good woman interested in me and I couldn't give up the toxic one.

Yes after I filed for divorce I felt more comfortable seeing her. She looked so good that September 2019 when I saw her. It's imprinted in my brain how she looked that day and how happy she was to see me finally again. It had been 17 months and she was so nervous lol. She took me on a 2 hour drive to find dinner after I had just driven 5 hours.

We saw each other February 2020 and I was ready to cancel on her last minute. I remember talking to Thunder and told her I couldn't go through with it.

I had to always force myself to make a decision to see her and it was always spur of the moment last minute. Like she had 2 or 3 days to prepare. Meanwhile after I made the decision it was soul crushing.

I would toss and turn. I couldn't sleep. There was a huge weight on my chest always telling me to back out. That was the abuse talking to me. It was very hard to push through it at times. It was terrible at night and I just had to make it through the morning and I would be fine. So I'm glad I did not cancel February 2020 because that trip did lay some groundwork for us and the pandemic was about to hit.

So it would be another 15 months before we would see each other again in May 2021. I saw her twice that year. I brought my son up the 2nd time but did not introduce the two. I thought maybe on future visits had he come I would have been more comfortable doing so.

She is a wonderful giving woman and I would have been proud to introduce my son to her. Yes she made me nervous with our Luke Combs moment in Dec 2021. It was really innocent on her part but I felt she wanted more from me.

So I canceled MLK weekend plans with her in 2022. It was no longer about being indecisive or scared to make a decision because of abuse patterns. I was just scared to take a chance with her.

We didn't talk for 4 months and I just found comfort in the silence never realizing it was such a huge trigger for her. I told her afterwards that I used poor coping mechanisms and I would never do that to her again and I haven't.  I think she finally broke through to me and again she was a bit forceful in her sisters backyard that day but I needed it.

She always was and has been a wonderful woman. I just wasn't ready for her at times and I have always been there for her once we went official and I have never looked back.

Meanwhile I am so glad you remembered where you parked your car that night in Germany because I think she would have been upset had I never made it back to the states, lol.

[UrsaMajor]

Yes I went back to my x because her toxicity was normal to me. Here there was a really good woman interested in me and I couldn't give up the toxic one.

It is somewhat similar to a pair of old worn out running shoes. You KNOW you'll end up with blisters and shin splints in the end but they are just so darn familiar and known..... and they were your favorites for years before....

Meanwhile I am so glad you remembered where you parked your car that night in Germany because I think she would have been upset had I never made it back to the states, lol.

THAT part of Frankfurt is darn hard to park in but, since I lived there for several years, i knew all the back streets, despite the Ebbelwoi (that is Frankfurterisch for the German version of hard cider.... Of course, we didn't drink a lot of it as it IS an acquired taste... usually takes 3 or 4 to acquire the taste....    )

[FaithWalker]

Well blow me away!  How exciting is that.  I'm super happy for BOTH of you!

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor, FaithWalker.

Yes that was a very nice evening in Frankfurt UrsaMajor.

I took her out to dinner the other night. The ring box was really to big to hide and I didn't want to remove the ring from the box.

So after dinner we went back to the car and I told her that I had the ring, the box was to big to hide and I would love to propose to her down at the pier along the waterfront if she were up for it. She was surprised.

8.5 years ago she took me down to that same pier during the first weekend we met back in 2018. That pier means something special to the both of us so that's why I chose it.

The weather was beautiful and the sun was beginning to set a bit. We held hands and looked at each other while I stated my intentions. I got down on one knee and she said yes.

We were caught by a couple in a car on the way back to our vehicle and the woman said that was beautiful to watch and she congratulated us.

After our 2018 encounter we went on separate paths for a few years but always circled back to one another at times. We were always friends on some level as we did still communicate.

I told her I had no clue what was in store for us after April 2018. I would have never guessed we would be standing on that pier 8.5 years later getting engaged.

We tried everything possible to not make us work at times. Sometimes the universe placed obstacles in our way and sometimes we just did it to ourselves. Yes she had a little more faith and hope than I did at times. She had faith and hope while I really had no clue what I wanted.

So we are both excited as we begin this next chapter of our lives together.

[Dragonfly33]

Congratulations Watcher!

[Zion]

Congratulations Watcher!!!!

[Watcher]

Thank you Dragonfly, Zion.

Yes she is my best friend. She has been for a very long time. I've always been impressed with her. I love what she does for a living and she is surrounded by many wonderful people in her life both friends and family. I would say she is very popular and she would  say she is rather shy lol.

I have always viewed her as a strong independent woman and I love how she writes and conveys her thoughts. She has been through so much and has overcome each obstacle time and time again. I am very impressed with how she handles home repairs for example. She is incredibly knowledgeable.

She has an incredible smile and I love her eyes. I tell her all time she is very approachable and this is why people gravitate towards her. She is a natural helper and cares about people in general.

She is a little older than me and I get to tease her at times however there is also just a hot factor about it that really turns me on lol. I laugh about it but we are basically the same age. Well I better say that part at least to cover myself.

She does read my thread so I have to be careful. She hasn't objected yet. I did worry about a few things I have said. So I sent her a nude photo in 2019. I don't think that was a bad reveal lol.  She does love to talk however I love to listen to her talk. We spend quality time together on our adventures easily spending 12-14 hours together a day and never getting tired of it.

Sometimes she has a work obligation or family obligation and I simply find something to do until we can meet. I go with the flow.

I went home in August and I knew I wanted to marry her. Never even thought about it previously. Something happened that August week together. So I went home and completely changed my life. I went to work on the ring and I'm excited about the transfer filing. Hopefully we don't have to wait to long but , you know, we have been dancing on this journey since 2016 so we are used to it and we can see it through.

Again she asked me out in 2022. I was never getting out of her sisters backyard without an answer. Plus she drove that day lol. Obviously I was ready at that point. That was the earliest we could have been a couple.

So I knew she was never going to propose to me. I had to be the one. I got tired of our status quo. I wanted more. She does too btw. I mean she did say yes. Oh, well I drove that day so maybe she felt pressure like I did in her sisters backyard lol.  So I proposed to her. Now I have to work transfer but I'm ready and excited for it.

I did tell her I am knocking her ex husband'a name off her name lol. She is not having three last names lol. Yes she wants my last name. We are both excited and I am really happy that she is excited. She deserves this engagement and marriage. It's  something she never thought she was worthy of nor deserved. So I hope she knows I have always seen her worth and valued her. It will be my honor to call her my wife one day. 

[JohnnyBravo]

Woo hoo!

[FaithWalker]

[Watcher]

Thank you JohnnyBravo, FaithWalker.

She definitely slipped something into my drink during my August visit because I have never behaved this way before and I am madly in love with her.

So we had no plans to meet this past weekend. On Friday night we talked and she was dancing around the issue on whether she needed me. She was finding excuses as to why I was busy. I had marathon training, the drive is 5 hours, I don't want you to have an expense etc.....she worried she wouldn't even be able to see me.

She had an event on Saturday and just needed support so I took it out of her hands and just said I would come support her since I was off from work.

So my initial plan was to drive 5 hours , attend the event and drive back home however I decided to stay a night to give her more time at the event and not have to rush. She was already worrying I was going to hit deer if I drove home late at night.

So we were probably at the event for at least 4 hours. Maybe a little longer. She didn't need me to do anything. I was just there to be present for her. So she mingled around and talked to people.

I got some food, sat at a table and talked to her dad for a bit. The place was packed. Easily 200 people at some point. Maybe more.

She looked radiant in her element as I watched her. She loves to talk and be social and she was all over the place so I didn't always have an eye on her. I love how she interacts with people and I love watching her interact with men. There is something vey sexy I find about it and I find it attractive. Always have and she knows how I feel.

So she was smiling, laughing and having a good time. She would circle back to me at times and just give me a touch with her hand to make sure I was still there for her.

Her son was riding on a horse like Paul Revere telling all his mom is engaged. He is so extremely happy for his mother.

I'm very secure and I love letting her breathe. I usually let her do her thing at these events and she will circle back to me if she needs me. I find plenty to do to entertain myself.

So at some point I saw her facial expression change and it was time for me as her ex husband had arrived at the event. I would say he stayed at least two hours by my estimate.

I have never met him before in 8.5 years. That very first weekend in April 2018 we had a close run in. He was departing the driveway with his son in the car and she and I were returning to her house. That was the closest moment.

So idk if he knows about me and whether his ex wife is dating. He certainly knows now that his ex wife hung out with this guy all night and we didn't leave each others side. He did have a close encounter as he passed us early on as he definitely was curious. He said something to her as he passed and I looked at her like, is that your ex husband. Just an odd comment he made.

Had she been alone there is no doubt her would have engaged her. Later on he did come closer again as he talked in a group setting.

It really dawned on me that I have had it far easier then her. My divorce was final Dec 2020 and I last saw my ex in 2021 and I will absolutely never see her again because she is pure evil.

Meanwhile she has to see or hear from him at times. My first impression was how radiant she looked, how young she looked and how happy she was. He looked dated and aged. Overall he just looked gray. Devoid of color.

I never realized how bad she had it. I have such empathy for her after witnessing that Saturday event. I really feel bad for her and I wish she had the clean break that I had.

We saw each other for breakfast this morning before I left. Yes we are crazy in love. I told her I'm working next weekend and there is no way I'm seeing you lol. Well we do have plans to see each other in 11 days lol.

I have no clue why our dynamic has changed so much. We had some deep conversations in August and I became the leader lol. I think she is happy I took the reigns.