[Ibelieve]

I have asked my H several times if he is happy in his situation (living with OW) He says he is. He sounds happy when I talk to him, unless I am ragging on him. I just don't get how most of his stuff is still here at the house. He is basically living out of suitcase.  He has a great job, that he's  only had for  a few years, but  took about 5 years to get.  I mention to him about quitting his job. He says he would never do that. He is happy there. He doesn't want a new sports car or motorcycle, that I know of.  He really believes that he has found his soul mate and this is the life he wants.

[LisaLives]

Tsunami and Ibelieve, on BD, and for the first year, I believed my H also.  He said he was happy, that he had found his soulmate, a love with "whom he could swim in the same direction" (yeah, he actually said that).  But as I grew less angry and more peaceful, detached and even happy, I realized the monster had not gone away.  I believed that he was only reacting to me, that I was the cause of all his unhappiness.  Then he had the heart attack, and continues to have serious health issues.  But he still tells me that the life he is living is easier than the one we had and he is happy.  So now I figure, if that's your happy, then I'm happy for you. 

We can all still look in the mirror every day and know that as sad and broken as we might me, we are still trustworthy, honorable, loyal and loving--they can't, and will never be able to again--if that's happy, I don't want any part of it.  Sad and broken are fixable, shame and guilt and dishonor leave disfiguring scars.  Smile, hold your head high and fake it til you make it, it gets easier every day, and pedicures and new makeup don't hurt...  Neither does shooting at photos of OW, ;-)...  just sayin', whatever works for ya...

[watching and waiting]

My H wears the happy mask for everyone.
He posts on fb all the time giving insights into his wonderful life.
I am doing this, I am going there, isn't my life wonderful............

I did (and possibly do....sometimes) believe all of this and then during one of his pity parties he sent me a text to say he would be better off dead.....his life was not worth living etc. he loved his kids etc etc.
I nearly got sucked into the drama.  I phoned a friend to check on him.
She trid to call him - No answer.
She went on fb and there he was telling everyone how he was having a fantastic time out with OW, eating out, and how wonderful life was.

They are truely insane.

HUGS

[Dontgiveup]

Watching and Waiting's post reminds me of something with my friend.  He did not snoop very often, but one time he did.  It was about a year ago and he called me afterward.  He had looked online at some things his ex-wife was posting.  She posted how good things were going and how happy she was.  My friend was a little down about it after he read it.

It probably wasn't two weeks later, my friend received an e-mail from her saying that things were not going well.  Her e-mail to my friend was brief, but it was clear she wasn't as happy as she was claiming to be to other people.

[Glimmer]

Hi My H also likes to do 'fun' things. I sometimes wonder if they are so much fun why does he look miserable half the time. Each time as he is leaving he sits in the car and texts. I presume it is to the OW and he has to check in and let her know he is on his way, pathetic.

He tells me there are parts of his life he loves now, but there is still so much that he misses.  I remember last summer he had gone out walking with OW. They had ended up at the top of a mountain admiring the view.  He said that tears started to roll down his face  and he couldn't stop them. OW saw them.  He told me it reminded him of our honeymoon in Scotland, and he said he wished he had been there with me and the girls.  He later texted me to say he hated what his life had become and asked me not to give up on him. 

It is now almost a year on from then and he is still doing lots of 'fun' things, which would be so much more fun if he was doing them with his family.  I have noticed as well, that he seems to 'enjoy'  things now that he had always hated.

 He left because he wanted freedom and no ties, and fell straight into a R with OW.  So much for freedom.

[heartbroken]

I only wish I knew the answer to that.  My H has NC with me or our S as of 2 weeks ago, BD 3 months ago and he  has cut us off completely financially so I would have to say he is very happy in his new life with OW.  H doesn't even care if his S has a roof over his head or food to eat.   Very disturbing and very sad for my son.

[watching and waiting]

  I have noticed as well, that he seems to 'enjoy'  things now that he had always hated.

Glimmer,
I am seeing alot of this behaviour too.
Not sure what it means......

Heartbroken,
My H has cut off all finances too.  My H spends on other people, yet denies his kids everything.  I just think it is H way of keeping his friends and portraying that he is not a bad guy.
HUGs

[Mamma Bear]

 Re read affair down and the woman scorned articles. They are in REPLAY+FANTASY LAND.  Pretend in their heads they took some BAD ACID and they are TRIPPING
  There is NO REAL HAPPINESS in their 'grace is greener' world. Have FAITH You'll see. Leave the teenager brained H to crash and burn on his own so we don't get blamed Again LOL

[Mamma Bear]

  I meant 'Grass is greener" world......But we have 'GRACE is Greener' on OUR side.    Like a Nike commercial " Just Do IT"

[Mitzpah]

Interesting Tsunami,
I also wonder at this, in fact I often ask other people what they think of him, whether he is happy and contented? Mostly, the answers are 'he seems ok, pretty normal to me'. When I ask my kids , they say - oh, he's normal, joking around,seems to be happy.
When I see him, he definitely doesn't seem happy, but I am beginning to think it is because he is in my presence. I ask him if he is OK and he always gives me a standard 'I'm fine' almost daring me to say otherwise, very defensive! or like yesterday, I asked if was better from his tonsillitis/thrush/cold from the week before and although he was sniffling/coughing when he answered, he turned his back on me and said "I am 100%!"
He then paid a five minute visit to the house and left on his motorbike, ten minutes later it started to pour with rain - I guess it rained on his parade
So I am curious as to what his real state of mind is...