I just think some love deeper and are more acceptable to faults in others. Have better communication skills and most of don’t need that high of a new car, new person, big trip…..that’s mature love and relationships. To be grateful with where you are. Who you are with. I don’t think anyone in a marriage doesn’t at times look at their spouse and think “ who are they?” There are pikes and valleys. Comfortability with time and I think MLCers get bored. Harbor resentments. Chase those high school
Romance feelings. They aren’t ever happy or satisfied. When I asked my XH a year after he left if he was happy he stated “ I hate when you ask me that” I think that says it all. They are never truly happy. I also think it reverses. They first find the exit as relief when we are in shambles, but then we grow and learn and survive and that’s when all their pushed aside emotions and escapes stop working. We pay at the beginning. Theirs is delayed. That’s how I feel now.
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.
Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022 XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2025 granddaughter born( XH not told)
XH did not send his kids and grandson bday or xmas gift this year.
May 2026 grandson due ( XH not told)