I'm so sorry D! I can totally understand how you would want a H at a time like this. I was in a near accident a few weeks back and I was upset that I couldn't download it with him, I cannot imagine how it would feel to actually be in one and not have that support. And it sounds like it was a bad one too! Terrifying! I'm glad you and your dog are all fine but I'm sorry about the stress and major hassle.
One thing that occurs to me, you did have some support from him. Yeah, it's not what you would have wanted, but you do have someone who wants to be there, at the end of a phone for you in an emergency and help when he can. It's not what you deserve, but also it's not nothing. I am trying to see things this way myself, when I look at the future with my ex. I feel so cheated - enormously cheated - by what he offers me now, but again, it's not nothing. I think we have to take what we have and find a way to see something positive in it, that's the only way forward really. Maybe in future you will have someone by your side too.
Thank you AL, It was a horrible accident but luckily we weren't injured at least physically. And the first person I thought of when the police started interviewing me was my xh. I wish he was around, as the interview was in a foreign language and when you are in shock it's quite hard to express yourself in a foreign language let alone understanding your legal rights. But yes, I appreciate that the moment I texted my xh, he replied right away and stayed awake until I was more or less OK. That's already a lot for me. Besides, I have my sister and my brother-in-law who came right away to pick me up and bought me dinner. I am so blessed with such a family.
First off, I’m glad your ok. I am also glad your XH picked up and helped. Seems like he is not a vanisher. I had an accident 10 mths after my XH left and I texted him and he didn’t even respond to the text. He had just gotten married and I didnt find that out for another 10 mths. Those moments are hard. You dont have that emergency contact. There is some reality at that moment that you dont have that one special person anymore that really cares and your their number one priority. That still is scary to me.
Madluv thank you. My xh didn't pick me up as he is in my home country right now but he did answer his phone. Until now he's been texting me everyday helping me to deal with administrative things and just giving me advice on cars as I need to get a new car now. Funny though I mentioned to him that I am relieved that my work colleague will help me and will take me to her friend who is a mechanic and works in a car dealership so I can get an advice. My xh said, he was helping me too even if he was afar. I said yes I know and I am very thankful for his effort. And he said but I couldn't make you feel relieved. Which now reminds me what my xh told me at the BD. He told me he couldn't make me proud because he couldn't give me a child or he was not successful in his career. I don't know what that means but it seems like he is still in the midst of his MLC without the monster now.
It also does sometimes seem like so much just piles on and you wish that karma bus would head the other way. That is really where I had to grab on to acceptance and just be ok with whatever came my way. I would love if my XH was worried about me to wanted to help. It would at least feel like I had ‘t wasted decades with someone that doesn’t seem to care at all. Maybe thats your bright light in this accident. Of course after the fact you are physically ok.
My xh was always worried about me I guess. If I needed something even at the height of his MLC he would still come even though he blamed me , part of that old self was somehow still there. Of course he was very selfish, the kind of empathy he showed wasnt the same before MLC. And sometimes at that time I just wanted to kick his face. I am sorry that your xh has totally abandoned you. I cannot imagine how that feels as you had been married way longer than I was.
My family though is worried that now Im back in contact with my xh. They are worried he would try to come back to me and they've been warning me a number of times now. But what can I do, I needed his help with finding a car. He was my run to person when I was in a big mess and I guess that part never changed. I just trust his opinion.
Phew! Glad that you and the pooch are ok. Somehow an inattentive stranger causing harm is somewhat easier to process than dealing with an MLCer. Please do get checked out as you may need physical therapy for a strained neck. I got rear ended right after finishing PT for back pain and it set me back to the starting line. The upside was that the accident occurred in a state that allowed for a better therapist. So you may be entitled to more than you think since he was 100% at fault.
That was a bit of crappy luck and not the Universe raining on you. Maybe post on your social media that you need a car due to the accident and someone you know or their acquaintance will offer a private sale of a good condition used car.
Thank you ftt. I had a check up yesterday and the doctor said it looks good. Hopefully it stays that way. I'm still very tired though and still have a strained neck and shoulders probably also from stress. It is tough to be in this kind of situation because you only have yourself. I mean I have friends helping me but at the end of the day, I have to sort this mess myself even if it's not my fault. The medical expenses and therapies will be covered fully by my accident insurance which is paid by my employer, so that's the least of my worries. The only worry I have now is getting a new car. It's so hard not to get fooled by car dealers. It's a dirty game.
I was in an accident in December that totaled my car and they t-boned me. I completely understand how you feel. It is tough to navigate alone. I had last been in an accident when I was 17 and it was me being stupid and a single car accident. My parents handled everything. This accident was the first one that I had ever had to handle alone. It was a tough place to be and I'm still dealing with some residual issues that haven't fully resolved from it. Just seems to take forever for all bills to be paid and for insurance to fully do what it is supposed to.
I hope you can find a replacement car without too much trouble.
Thank you FW. I'm sorry to hear you still have issues from your accident. I know how hard it is to handles things like this by yourself. Sometimes, I wished my xh was still here with me. I found a car today and I was in a lot of text exchanges with my ex as I didn't know if this car is good or not. At least there he's been helping me a lot.
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My journey post D