Thanks for your response Ready! I always appreciate your involvement in my story and advice from somebody who also can look at it from a parent point of view, what Treasur also states.
I think what has happened is just a confirmation from everything I already know. For now it has given me a push to make my own choices more and more. Out of politeness and hope for better days for my D I envolved him in a appointments and other parenting stuff. Now I just make the choices that benefit me and my D and I inform him; can he join fine by me and if he can't join also fine by me.
As for the family-stuff, good point of view from your side Ready. For me it always feels awkward.. We've been a family for 1 year so what kind of family are we really? For me it's non existent. If our family was so important to him he wouldn't have left us or he would've been trying much harder to be involved in my D's life than he is right now. We never really got to build our family because of him and I'm not interested in playing pretend.
I think this event had to happen for me to enforce my boundaries more. He will always have a part in my D's life if he wants to, but I'm making the choices that benefit me and her.