Had an absolutely crazy weekend that did not involve my wife, but her family. Specifically, her mother and brother who both have their own major issues. This had a major effect on my son because it happened while I was outside, and I only caught the tail end of it. Anyway, I chose not to call my wife and tell her about it since we were coming home the following day, and there was nothing she could do. As soon as we got home, my son shared it with her and she was a little perturbed that I had not called and got her up to speed. I told her he was safe. My managed it. Our son did a great job and whether you found out yesterday or today it made no difference. We then discussed the lack of communication which took on a life of itself. My wife told me she cares about me but doesn’t want to do things with me. She wants to have communications and be friends But doesn’t wanna do social things and be completely separate. I told her that’s very difficult to understand when you live with someone and want to be friends but don’t wanna do anything with them. There have been time she’s texted me to get to work safely and I didn’t respond. And I told her I just don’t understand anything that you’re doing while you’re doing it and when I ask you, you say you don’t know. Ultimately I can see where this is headed since she has wanted to separate and get a divorce from day one. She continues to tell me I’ve done nothing wrong and she cares about me but she just doesn’t wanna be married any longer. I told her eventually she’s going to get what she wants because I’m not going to stand. I told her I felt like she was making a rational decisions and was probably going to regret this. She said she understood that and she very well may. She was a little softer though, and wasn’t as hard on the phone saying that she wants to communicate, she has no ill wishes towards me, doesn’t hate me, and knows this is what she is doing to try to make herself happy. I told her that several weeks ago when we were away for two days straight I had the darkest day of my life in and while it was needed, it was my rock-bottom. I told her I’d begun healing and accepted. I told her she’s not the same person that I’ve known for 20+ years. That the amount of lies and false narratives have taken their toll on me and I no longer believe anything she tells me. I told her that I’ll always care about her, but I still remember the person that she was not the person that she is. surprisingly she sat and listened and had very little to say. I said My future is not with her and then I’m going to make the best decisions for me and the kids while she does whatever it feels she needs to do. It’s painful. My heart breaks for everyone going through this, but at the same time sometimes in life, you can’t be the only one fighting. We shall see her next steps but I’ve been clear where I’m at mentally and have no expectations. She of course, said that she plans on us being friends forever since we have to coparent and we’ve had so many wonderful years together. I told her I can’t promise her anything about the future, in fact for her to believe that we’re going to check in and stay close When she’s pushing to dissolve the marriage with the only reason she no longer “ in love”with me is something I can’t accept. I just said life is about choices and choices have consequences. We make them each and every day summer thought out more than others and some will play out to be positive or negative. And time will only tell how this one will.
I’ll admit MLC is stronger and colder than I ever expected and while my W doesn’t monster the pain is all the same or even worse. Or atleast it used to be .. There are many hard days ahead before I start anew but walking on egg shells eggshells and just letting things play out are scenarios I will no longer tolerate. Everyone’s journey is different and we chose our path accordingly … we shall see how this moves forward but it seems obvious to me
A sharp knife cuts the deepest but hurts the least …..
Author
Topic: My story