[Helpnewc]

Yes Zarheit,

The irrationality of it hits hard. But don’t give up on repair and love.

I worked too hard when was my littlest was little. I built a big business, made a lot of money but I missed my little one growing. She was angry and justifiably so.

But she has told me how it impacted on her. She has accepted my apology and offered me forgiveness. And we have repaired and rebuilt. Yes, there is hurt and loss. But there is hope and future.

But you can’t do it unless someone lets you. I will always be grateful that she has let me. And always be sad that my ex-wife withdrew, brewed resentment and would not let us find a way back.

Because it was there. You just have to choose it.

[Helpnewc]

Been a while. Nothing changes.

She is awful to me. I try to stay away. We spoke for the first time in months and then she was just awful. It is best to stay away.

I will file the proceedings for the kids next week. I had been hoping for some sense but that won’t occur. I have gathered the strength to get on with it.

My regrets are for standing too long. It has simply delayed my recovery. But I am glad I tried.

[Treasur]

You did your best based on what you knew then. Most of us did , most of us paid too high a price but most of us down the line also take some comfort in knowing that we tried.

But, once you see the well is dry, one’s PoV evolves. Once you stop expecting anything different, you stop going back to the well. And imho that is really based on stopping caring much about what they think or say or want from you.

So, yes, makes sense that it is time to start trying for something else and do whatever is legally possible to protect your future relationship with your children. Bc that is good enough as a goal imho. Do that.

[Trustandlove]

I have also occasionally wondered if I might have healed faster if I hadn't done everything possible to keep my family together, but in the end realised that I did what was best for my family -- and my children appreciate it no end.  I don't have any "what-ifs" about it, and that is healing in and of itself. 

[Helpnewc]

So I finally got an offer today about the kids.
The proposal was less time than I have now or we ask for even less time and you have no say about issues with your kids.
It is bizarre.
I hope to file the proceedings this week and I am sorry for the kids.

[Treasur]

Presume you are not saying ‘yes,ok’ to either offer?

[Helpnewc]

Hi Treasu,

My response is to seek equal time and equal decision making in Court.

I have formed the view that the only way forward is to get the orders from a judge.

[Baxter1]

It is so sad to that you have to go through the courts to get access to your children. MLC is a cruel beast. Keep fighting the good fight

[AlvinTheMaker]

Joining for support. Its a nasty situation, but if you have prepared well then you should have a fair chance with the judge.  Keep going and improving.

Alvin

[Helpnewc]

I signed the property settlement a week ago. I went for a walk by the water and stopped for a beer. It was less emotional than I thought.

The lead up was rough. She accused me of delay and I have actioned everything within 24 hours. I suspect it was her solicitor being hopeless.

My father in law sent me an email. He said I was an immoral man for some emails I had sent confronting his daughter with the things she had done. I get it. He loves her and it is hard to believe she has done these things. I corrected him a little too brutally about the cause of the delay but I was at the end of my tether.

I have also sworn my Affidavit and filed the proceedings to gain further access to my kids. I had no choice as 5 days a fortnight is unjust and awful.

She is now not speaking to me at all. Even when I told her about my daughter being sick. MLC is about control and finally we are in court where someone else has control.

It is a very hard way to live 26 months in.