[UrsaMajor]

There is just so much pain. The most interesting part is how you get used to it.

It isn't so much "getting used to it" as it is "learning how to deal with it."

[Helpnewc]

I have the girls for four days. It’s going great.

I suspect my wife is dating. It does my head in. I just have to disconnect.

You feel so worthless. And you wish you did not love them. But you do.

Who knew life could be so painful.

But things are great with my kids. Better than I thought.


I will lean into that. But the loneliness. Awful.

[Helpnewc]

So I am getting into the swing of it. I am doing really well as a dad and the girls love coming to my place.

I find the 5 days fortnigbt intolerable. Going from seeing your kids each day to this is tough.

But it has helped me gather strength for the custody fight. I know I need equal time.

I have little contact with my wife. It is much better. She is a robot and unaccountable for her actions. I cannot have someone who treats me so poorly in my life.

[Helpnewc]

Things are going well with my daughters.

I just struggle with the hurt. That she would abandon me and not try at all knocks me around. That she does not remember anything good about our marriage.

I am unable to be in a room with her at present. I feel awful that will impact on my girls but I just can’t do it.

I have heard nothing about the property settlement that settled in December or about the mediation. It is just very odd.

I find only 5 days with my daughters a fortnight very hard. I guess I will also find 7 days hard when I prevail. There is just so much pain.

[Helpnewc]

A couple of days with no contact has helped.

I know I will have to see her again but hopefully I can make sure it is not for a while. I continue to gather strength.

Loneliness is an odd things for me. I have always been self sufficient but but now I feel lonely.

But I miss my kids. Each day. I am seeing that as growth.

But I will never understand what happened. But I simply need to accept it.

[Happylight]

Loneliness is an odd things for me. I have always been self sufficient but but now I feel lonely.

This is something I struggle with as well.  I wonder if it isn’t truly that you need another person, but more that you have to go through this on your own.  Nobody can walk the path for you and few truly understand. 

On another hand, are you doing  anything to connect with some new people?  This is a hard thing for me-in still trying to figure it out. 

[Helpnewc]

Thanks Happy,
I think it is complex. I am lonely for my wife and I am slowly seeing others.

I think I also just have to push through it a bit.

[Helpnewc]

So I continue to struggle. Just the pain of loss. Missing my kids and the person I loved. The idea that she is still in there is gone, I think I held that for so long but a new creature inhabits her.

Letting go of hope has been hard but is useful. It is time to rebuild a life from the reunions and understand this how it is.

Yet is perverse. I have asked for no contact but I miss hearing from her. Sniping at each other makes you think there is something there when there is not.

But mostly there is just pain and lonlieness. For now.

[Nas]

 Sniping at each other makes you think there is something there when there is not.

This is a really good bit of insight for yourself. The urge to hold onto any sense of connection, even if it’s a negative one, is strong, so good for you for choosing to remove yourself from that.

[Reinventing]

For now.

Yes, it won't always feel this way and it will get better.