[forthetrees]

I am so sorry. That seems like way too short of a spate of time to have your kiddos. Please do edit your post to delete your real name.
I´m guessing that the court stuff sends you into yet another round of processing and man oh man, it takes a toll on you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. BUT... you have already proven that you find your way out of the quagmire. So while slogging through it remind yourself that the other shore lies ahead.

[FaithWalker]

Wow, March of 2026, that seems just cruel Help.  I'm so sorry!  I wish there was a way you could get it moved up.

[FaithWalker]

I am so sorry. That seems like way too short of a spate of time to have your kiddos. Please do edit your post to delete your real name.

Ftt you must have posted while I was fixing it.   

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

It is strange to live this life you never wanted or knew existed.

It is very hard especially when the person that you felt you could depend on the most is the one that is trying to hurt you the most. It's one thing to just end the marriage, but then to try everything they can do to destroy you in the process.

She has introduced the girls to the boyfriend but they do not know he occupies that role. I suspect they will work that out with time.

It's funny how she claims you are the controlling one, but now she's calling all the shots. I do hope that she has picked someone decent as there are a lot of not so good people out there.

He does not understand why we are there. Neither do I. We have a hearing date in March next year which seems a long time away. He basically recommended my wife settle for what I have offered as a compromise but of course we can’t do that.

Of course not, you are trying to be rational and come to an acceptable compromise, but she's intent on burying you.

It really does seem that you are getting all the hard knocks. I do hope that something goes your way. Just keep moving forward and be the difference in your daughter's lives.

I truly wish you the very best and know we are all rooting for you,

(((Ready)))

[Helpnewc]

Dear fellow LBS,

Is it common for an MLCer to absolutely unable to make decisions?

I have been trying to resolve parenting with my wife for 2 years. The Judge who will hear our matter has expressed his views which concise precisely with what have offered but she seems completely unable to make the decision.
I just wondered if others had a similar experience. I have let her go. I just want some structure for the girls.

Help

[AlvinTheMaker]

Perfectly normal MLC behaviour IMHO. Most likely you are looking at a very classic high stress 4F response (fight/flight/freeze/fawn).

A bigger question is whether this inability is just this one thing, all things related to some topic (such as divorce or kids), or does it apply many areas of her personal life too.  If more widespread, then you can imagine it as gauge of internal cooking and pressure.

Sadly not much you can do except focus on wellbeing of yourself and people you love while she is not facing her issues.

Alvin

[Helpnewc]

Dear Fellow LBS,

I have kind of hit the wall. I had been asking my wife for a response for the   Offer on parenting which is consistent with the views expressed by the Judge. She has steadfastly ignored my messages.

I just got to the point where I indicated that I felt it was abusive of her not to respond and she responded with she did not mean to be abusive and she was weight her options. She had been weighing her options for 2 years.

We are literally fighting over one night. She makes me drop the girls off at 7 pm on a Sunday and it pisses me off.


I have just said to her that if she does not accept the offer by Friday then we will just run the case. I think that will help me manage my thoughts. Her lack of regard for my well being is amazing.

And I asked to take my girls for one first day of school this year at the school I pay for. She refused.

She is such a grub. It is hard to believe she was my wife.

[Helpnewc]

Dear fellow LBS,

So she indicated that she would get back to me as she was “considering her options” but she did not.

I have just accepted we will have a trial. It is bizarre over one night but I hate dropping the girls off at 7 pm on a Sunday and there is no prospect of that being ordered.

I suspect I am just being abused a bit by the system and she is simply enjoying the present arrangement up until the Hearing in March next year and will want to take the offer then. I have decided it will not be available then and I will just push through for the 7 days. I will just feel abused if I resolve for the compromise at that point.

I struggle with why she still has the capacity to make me feel worthless. She has ignored every bit of engagement since the beginning and it is consistent with how she approached the end of our marriage. She withdrew, plotted and did not give me a chance.

It is funny how unhelpful hope is. Everything she has done has been consistent yet I hope for better and for some healing.

But for some reason damage is better.


Help