[Helpnewc]

Dear Friends,

I had a bit of a bad week last week. I had asked my wife to not drop the divorce on me for a little bit (it has been nearly 5 years in May) and without notice she served it on my lawyer and I got an email at work.

I have just started the new job and was recovering from cataract surgery. I then expressed my disappointment that I had not been notified she was proceeding and I got a bundle of lies back.

It is my own fault. I had thought she might show a little empathy but I should have known that she would not do it when I asked for years and then when I asked not to do it for 3 months she would. It has been very much an act of empowerment to kick me a lot. This was just another opportunity to do so.

Understanding it does not make it any better and it threw me for a loop. I should have just remembered that she is pretty gutless and likes to kick me through her lawyers.

I am doing better. The new job is hard but is objectively going well. It is hard starting from scratch. My relationship with my daughters is much improved and I am grateful for that.

But I did love and adore my wife. Understanding you are not what she has made you to do what she has is frustrating. A the enabler is still there.


It is surprising how long healing takes. I am glad I have taken the time but I do miss who I was before. Being more certain of things is a good thing as you lose your compass for a while.

[Baxter1]

Help,

I’m sorry to hear that it is going down this way. I’m very happy to hear that your relationship with kids is good, I found the same with my boys. It’s a silver lining of sorts, if you can call it that.

Keep going in your own journey of healing and growth. I see BD as the day the old her died and a new ‘her’ was born. It’s frustrating, unimaginable and confusing but here we are.