[beyondblessed]

BB- I agree, but here is the deal. It’s a lot of money. 15k a year. So, I also am not willing to give that back to him. So, that is where the issue is. Each year the price increases also. He pays until he dies. So, I would be a fool to give back that kind of money and I am laid off and with a fractured back and he left me uninsured. -

This is where the issue is. I would love to stop all our agreements, but that would just put more money in their pocket. Money that I gave up a career for. That I saved for our retirement. While I have no insurance, she is driving a Mercedes and drenched in diamonds. That makes me not want to give it back.  Hopefully, he will just disappear for another 2 years. He does want to go, but he has felt guilt so he hasn't. I just have to see how this plays out. If he opts out of what I just offered then I don't have to think about it again until next season. If he wants to start bringing her than maybe finally we can just agree on games and post season finally. Get in a routine. It has always been him not communicating. Maybe he will start now? If he does we can settle this and move on with a more defined agreement.

Im not in my 30’s or 40’s or 50’s. He left me at retirement. It makes a huge difference. I just have to work through what I can handle. It’s been a pretty quiet year until last week. For the most part.

 ML, thank you for clarifying your position, as I was not aware he was solely paying for these tickets.  That is a huge chunk of change to be dropping every year for something that his guilty conscience keeps him from enjoying.  Just more crazy to add to the already overflowing pot, I guess. 

His Owifey may seem to be living it up now, but it likely won't last forever.  These people are masters at pretending and showcasing every imagined success and highlight of their lives, but what none of us get to see are the scenes and clips that don't make the cut.  I think it's part of their deluded nature to work as twice as hard at presenting a false narrative when things aren't going well for them.

[MadLuv]

Coming up on 4 years divorced next week and my xsil posted she recently was in LV to visit her mom for her bday and see middle BIl and family. She who never wanted to meet OW and called XH ( her bil) weak. She posted. Pictures and in the background was XH and OW. LV was where we took our last wedding anniversary so it was a little jarring to see them standing in a place where we were. He also has been seeing a lot of his 2 brothers and family in the last 2 years. A family I had to pull teeth for him to see as he hated them all. It is just another thing that just makes you question if what he ever said was real or if he has now been so isolated that he is embracing and reconnecting with anything from his past . So, I guess I will probably unfollow x-sil also now as I dont need to see their bonding. Does me no good.

My D34 told me that in her cmas card he signed the card as his name and not Dad and he did the same on our sons card. Again, stating he wanted to see them, but no actions behind the words. She also said before she went on maternity leave that she went to the breakroom ( we all worked for the same company & she is the last to still be there) and employee called her to their table full and asked if she would tell her father how much the employees miss him ( he was fired 3 years ago next week the day before our 1 yr divorce anniversary) D34 said she could hardly contain herself with everyone not realizing he was fired and thinking he just left and thinking he is some great guy. She said,  you want me to tell my father you miss him? The lady said, yes. D34 said, I looked at her and in a raised voice said, I havent see THAT MAN in 3 years!!! She said, it felt good to just not care and let it out. So there is that….

[MadLuv]

So, I had the craziest thing happen and it really threw me off for a day or so. I got a email from our city parks and recs that the a father of one of the childrens memorial instruments in our musical playground wanted his child sign. We took them down, because all the instruments had been replaced and they did not match. The child was the grandchild of my XH asst day manager at his old job.

So, after 4 years of disconnection from that group and not knowing what they now knew or didn’t I was a little leary. However, she is classy and not a gossiper and so I felt it would all go well. I emailed her my phone number and she called me. I made arrangements to drop the sign off with her. We exchanged niceties and then she said the following

Madluv, I still can’t believe and match who I knew for decades with what I am hearing. I said, oh? Are there rumors and talking, because I wasn’t sure. Everyone thinks he is a great guy and I assumed they still do. She said, as soon as OWife transfer people started to piece it together. She said, that woman is nothing but troubles. She is a mess. She will take him for every penny he has. She thinks she is amazing and everyone should bow to her. She is a mess.

I was so shocker, because she is not a gossiper, but she seems very traumatized herself. She said, I can now looking back see some of the signs, but I guess I ignored or dismissed them because I held him to such a high standard. I couldn’t imagine he would do what he did and specifically knowing his kids work in the same building. She said, I felt so bad for them when he got fired. She said, ai was glad S32 quit. She said, I know D34 just had a baby so I haven’t seen her. I said, she just quit. She said, good.

She then said, I sometimes just think how did this even start? Like when did the switch flip? I replied, you and me both!!! I said, basically anyone that had an issue and came in his office he started some type of bond/relationship as their savior and it just seems it escalated. I said, in the middle of the #metoo movement!  I did tell her some of the ones I knew and that he had a 3 year unreciprocated relationship with. I said, he was literally in an escape fantasy world. She said, well I heard he doesn’t even live with his OWife anymore. I said, I know!!$ they are in different states. You can’t make it up. She said, maybe he is waking up. If he isn’t I am telling you she will be is Karma. I have been in this building for decades and she has been a problem the whole time. She is very difficult person.

Anyways… so interesting to hear that people are figuring it all out and gossiping and shocked. It was nice to get some real opinion of OWife as I truly have never seen her or met her in person. She did say that she herself has no contact with XH and doesn’t see any reason to ever reconnect with him know what she knows now. She just kept saying, I can’t believe the moral guy with such character is not that at all. I said, I know. Believe me. 30 years and kids. It’s hard to take it all in!