[titleholder]

Oh ML it is good to hear from you! I’m happy that you responded so quickly when you were experiencing those symptoms and I’m happy that you’re ok <3 Our body goes through so much stress after BD and somewhere sadly that takes its toll..

I don’t see my xh as a sweet man. I see him as a weak man that only cares for him welf. Only cares about how he feels.

After all these years I can agree so much with these words! I think this is the base of a lot of MLC’ers..

When I was just out of the hospital and my baby in the NICU instead of stepping up and taking care of our D my xH took every excuse to bring my D back home early to me and instead of helping me he gave me more job while I was healing from a C-section and high bloodpressure in combination of the stress of my baby being in NICU. It showed me again that he’s so weak and only focused on this needs, when things get difficult I’m the one that has to step up, even when I’m shattered in 1000 pieces.

Take care ML! Hopefully your body will find it’s balance again!

[MadLuv]

Thank you Title. I’m so sorry you were put through so much with a new baby. It’s always mind-blowing all the different stories. I think the lack of empathy is the hardest to comprehend when your a person of extreme empathy.

My daughter had her third and final child in April. A boy names after her father’s Dad. So she has 2 children that have never met their grandfather. Out kids have no contact with any of their fathers family at all.  It has been over 4 years since his kids have seen him and i think over a year with no communication at all. It’s truly shocking that a father who lost a daughter is not involved with his kids or grandkids. He is a ghost. After 30 years.

One thing I have come to realize is that in order to live that disconnected you really can’t ever truly connect with anything. It has to be a pretty superficial life of numbness.

[FaithWalker]

ML, I hope you are doing okay post stroke.  So scary!

[MadLuv]

Thank you Faithwalker. I am doing surprising well.

Little update on my story. My XH who lost his 33 year career after marrying his opportunist subordinate just was let go of his second job. He is supporting his wife( of 5 years this month ) and both her adult daughters and her grandson. He was let go the week I had my stroke. Talk about crazy!!!

He has 2 homes he is financing and supporting. It was what would have been our 35th wedding anniversary first week of July and the day after I get on facebook to thank all the well wishers and who comes up as my number one suggested friend ? He did!! The man who has never been on social media and hated it. I sent it to my daughter and she said, yes he came up in January around my birthday for me. She said he made the page in January. He has 2 friends. Both hourly employee who worked for him with his long term career. His wife and step daughters, his mom or brothers are not his friends according to my daughter. I “X” on him but I am
not blocking him as that would probably make him feel it bothered me. I will not give him that.

He is looking back at his life. They always do!! He truly has destroyed himself and although I see things very differently now and feel like he is a different person I still crazily feel I even know that person. His covert avoidant personality explains pretty much how he got where he is. He attached to users by his own choice and he will probably never grow due to that. It takes accountability. I am sure he hoped my kids would see him and do the hard work for him, but they are not.

I hope he does find a way to make it right for them, but I do not think he has the courage. I need to catch up with so many threads on here. One of these days. Wishing everyone the strength to carry on and the hope to see their future ahead!

Oh, I bought a boat and my kids and grandkids are going to take it out this weekend!! Finally making really good memories. It’s the only way to move forward and it does ease the losses!!