[Music45]

Thanks Ever
The joint bank account thing in your case is odd isn't it?
Glad you get the wth moments too.
The "core family" hadn't occurred to me either but it does fit how H behaves. Another bonkers gift from mlc.
Keep smiling...

[FaithWalker]

I also think your S is right about the "core family" thought.

Great to see an update from you.   

[Music45]

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11812.msg803218#msg803218

It's been so long since I updated that my thread has been archived so I'll update with a new one...

My now exH finally filed for divorce (after BD in 2016!) and it was finalised in May this year - in the same week as my birthday and what would have been our wedding anniversary 

Just this Friday gone, he messaged me to say he's getting married - to the original and only OW - at the end of November. You know the type: the one he didn't commit to for YEARS after BD while boomeranging back to me!

They have bought a house abroad and he's told D that the marriage is for financial reasons. Which is surely codswallop but this is mlc so...
He told D about the wedding over lunch. He didn't meet with S to tell him - he just messaged him. Neither S or D plan to attend the wedding as they do not like ow or the choices their Dad has made. They say they've made it clear to him but his response is that "he has to live his live" etc. etc. Anyway S definitely won't go. D might waiver nearer the time. Wouldn't surprise me. I don't know and it really doesn't bother me. S & D by the way, are his kids, my step-kids (they have no contact with their birth mum).

So that's a very potted update. Things I've learned:
- contact type changes. If you're a newbie reading this, it might be useful to know that contact type (vanisher, clinging boomerang etc) can develop over time. ExH has been a clinging boomerang then a clinger and now a vanisher. He only dropped contact with me about 18 months ago.
- time DOES heal.
- I really, REALLY thought he would come through this and get out the other side but now, I don't think he will. He had counselling early on, he recognised he had issues with his mother etc. etc. AND he was a clinger....Still his mlc goes on and he's deeper in it now than ever (even though he's not yet crossed the upper 10 year timescale for an mlc, he's v close to it)
- biology is the least of things which make a good parent. Oprah Winfrey said that and it stuck with me. S & D and I have a strong bond that has survived all this.

I am fine. Sad that I'm not writing an update of reunion and reconciliation that I thought I would one day....but I'm living life with my dog and a job I love and despite a little tear and sadness at his news on Friday, I'm already back up and running. I did try Internet dating but, boy, that wasn't a great experience!! Need to find a plan B.

Thanks for reading...

[Dragonfly33]

Thanks for the update. It looks like you’ve moved on. I can totally imagine that the news made you feel sad a bit, I would be as well of I were in your place. But would you want someone who is still in the throes of his MLC? I’m sure not. My xh and I have some contact once in a while and I know he’s still in the midst of his own crisis. Wanting to belong to the young guys. What can I say, perhaps some would never come out of this unless they really do the work. Like you I also tried online dating but didn’t work either.  So continue living your life.

[UrsaMajor]

Bump - per request revived from the Archives...

[Music45]

Thanks Ursa.

Absolutely, Dragonfly.

Online dating is a minefield, though a friend met her lovely partner that way (having had an unfaithful ex  ) and they're doing great. Most people I know don't have that experience, though. The challenge is that I just don't meet many single men my age, in everyday life. So....hmmm...thought needed!

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

Spending a quiet Labor Day at home.

My now exH finally filed for divorce (after BD in 2016!) and it was finalised in May this year - in the same week as my birthday and what would have been our wedding anniversary 

Just this Friday gone, he messaged me to say he's getting married - to the original and only OW - at the end of November. You know the type: the one he didn't commit to for YEARS after BD while boomeranging back to me!

It's funny that they are either in the Indy 500 to start their new life or on the ten year plan. I guess yours took the slow route. Now, OW is marriage material. Good luck on that one.

They have bought a house abroad and he's told D that the marriage is for financial reasons.

The nice thing is that everything is going to implode in another country. The failure will be for financial reasons as well.

Online dating is a minefield, though a friend met her lovely partner that way (having had an unfaithful ex  ) and they're doing great. Most people I know don't have that experience, though. The challenge is that I just don't meet many single men my age, in everyday life. So....hmmm...thought needed!

I was 49 when I divorced and I was fortunate to meet someone really special. However, I am now 60 and I don't know if I will be as fortunate. There are so many scammers now and you just don't know what you are going to get. I think I would focus more on going to clubs or events that I enjoy and hopefully meet someone with like interests. For example, I know a lot of friends that met their significant other at the gym. Now they workout together.

but I'm living life with my dog and a job I love and despite a little tear and sadness at his news on Friday, I'm already back up and running.

I am glad that you have a dog and a great job. You are doing great and in the end, he will be sorry that he left you. Especially when he is broke in another country.

Enjoy the niche you have built and live your life.

(((Ready)))

[Music45]

Thanks Ready. Good advice.

I'm not sure things are going to implode you know. She has money to keep them. Lots of it. Unless he wakes up out of that thick fog he's in, I think he'll keep on truckin' like this for a long time.
The only thing that might spoil his party is his Mother's health. She 87. The root cause of his issues and is not in great shape, sadly. That could be interesting....

[FaithWalker]

Great to read some updates Music!