[Tailspin]

I know people will tell me to let it all go because my mlcer spouse died but I’m trying to understand the mlc so I can move forward and heal. I’m seeing things I don’t want to see now that hes gone and I’m left with the mess to clean up.

Allie, My healing got much better when I accepted that what they did was no fault of my own and their problem.  I know it sounds easier said than done.  I realized I was never going to make sense of why my wife stopped talking to me, cheated, and left.  My brain was looking for a reason and I finally realized nothing was going to explain it.  I sat in the sadness for a long time till I realized that life goes on and the world is a big place.  Try to look past the logic of it all because there is none to be found.  In my case my wife was a dismissive avoidant and was overwhelmed.  No excuses for her behavior.  Folks are cruel and MLC makes people do awful things.  I stopped trying to figure out the whys and just started living my life again with my family and friends.