[OldPilot]

I PROMISE you, Still, and everyone here on the forum, that if my M makes it through H's MLC, I will come back and tell you my success story.

Mermaid that is great!
You can then pay it forward to others.
Because I believe by then the names will have changed.

You can(and you already do) pay forward the knowledge you already have, to those that come here in search of answers.

[Still]

Mermaid,

I look forward to the day we are all comparing stories of how our marriages made it through the hurricane called MLC.

[Mermaid]

Thanks OP, Still, and I look forward to your stories too!

We will survive! 

[MarkedandHealed]

I look forward to that day as well! I am dying to see the success stories on this board.

I promise to post also, although I have 18 months left. (LOL - kind of joking - it's a dream I've had where it lasted 2 years and I'm already 4 months in... it would be nice if we had a date, no?)

Anyway, that's my pledge.

[Trustandlove]

I can't wait to be able to say how we survived!

[stillhere]

Although I'm only a few weeks into the bomb drop, I too have gained some much from this forum.  I pray that one day I can be one of the success stories.

 

I promise to post also, although I have 18 months left. (LOL - kind of joking - it's a dream I've had where it lasted 2 years and I'm already 4 months in... it would be nice if we had a date, no?)

Anyway, that's my pledge.

It would be very nice to have a date!  Following HB's advice in the resources area I kind of looked back recently as to when this all began.  I keep trying to convince myself I'm three or so years into the full MLC cycle and about a year into replay based upon when the affair started.  Who knows though?  I'll get through this and come out stronger

[OldPilot]

Stillhere

Do not use HB's timeline. That was a guide only and even she admits that it should not be used for that purpose.
Most timelines start from the begining of replay or bombdrop. So you would be 1 year in based on BD.

[HeartsBlessing]

Just remember not to measure your success by the "ring on the finger".

If each one of you walks your journey through completely to wholeness and healing; you are a success regardless if your marriage makes it through or not.

Even if you have an inkling of what might happen in the end; the journey must STILL be walked through completely.

Being married is NOT a means to an end. 

I had to face the possibility of my marriage NOT making it through long before the outcome ever played out; yet, I STILL walked my journey through.

And even as my husband worked his way forward, my own journey didn't stop, and it didn't need to.   Change is demanded when MLC strikes, and if the marriage/life was as good as you thought it was before the crisis; the crisis would have been just a "blip" on the screen for your spouses.

As it is, you'll find during your journey, if you're totally honest with yourself, your marriage wasn't that great to begin with...you had your part, your husband had his..and you'll be able to see this in the light of reality and honesty.

Each spouse has that same decision within their hands to make about the marriage; but the MLC spouse, honestly, holds all the cards..and therefore has all the control, over whether the marriage will come through or not.

That is why the Control lessons I wrote in the sermon's thread were so important.   It was part of letting go, and letting God; and holding onto hope for the marriage.

You may do everything you're supposed to do, yet, the MLC spouse may STILL decide to go a totally different direction, and that is THEIR choice; and you need to respect it, if that happens.

There were several times when I thought things were going to go the opposite direction, but God intervened each time...yet, all the while, reminding me that I had NO control over whether my husband would want the marriage back.

I preach having faith, hope, love; that leads to acceptance, forgiveness, and healing..and these are part of the path ALL must walk toward INDIVIDUAL wholeness and healing.

Belief in the Lord is important, in my view; as all things are possible if you believe.

I had to face every possibility there was so I would be ready to accept whatever came out of this; and still be ok, and successful in the end.

I also think every person has to face things that they don't want to face; accepting each one as they are able...but always hoping for the marriage to come back together.  It was a never-ending theme while I dealt with my husband's MLC.

God does NOT tamper with free will, but He will move within the MLC'er's heart, if you will, but ask Him to...as what is in the heart, the mind will follow; I have found this to be true throughout my life.

I'm being as honest as I know how to be.  There are many things you will face during your journeys that I have never faced; but they are ALL important to each and every one of you.

May God help you all to work through the realities of yourself, your husbands, your marriage, and your life...helping you to see clearly what all had been, and help you to change yourselves into better people than you were before the crisis came about.

I've been there; and although it was very painful; it was the BEST journey I ever took in my life; as it led to my Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Healing of everything I'd endured throughout my life.

Most of all, God was there with me, helped me; counseled me; and held me when I grieved everything out at His feet.

And He will do these same things for you.

[Mermaid]

Just remember not to measure your success by the "ring on the finger".

If each one of you walks your journey through completely to wholeness and healing; you are a success regardless if your marriage makes it through or not.

These are very wise words, HB. I'm discovering a lot about myself, my marriage, and my life as I make my journey. I know I am growing in maturity and wisdom, but have some way to go. Those who have faith in God have a gift; those of us who don't have it have to dig deeper for faith in ourselves.

[SpecialK]

I appreciate every situation is different, but has anyone got back together, broke up and got back together again?

SKx