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Author Topic: MLC Monster Truth darts = how and when to share them

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MLC Monster Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#20: September 17, 2013, 03:08:27 PM
We were having one of the horrible conversations my H cycled through about every three months it seemed, when he was telling me all that was wrong in his life.  After he got done blaming our marriage which had been "bad for years," his job, his family, my family, my friends from college (REALLY? :o), etc., on and on and on, I finally just looked at him and said, "Did it ever occur to you that the problem may not be every thing else in your life but maybe something within you?"  I don't know whether it was effective or not, but it did stop the tirade.  If I am remembering correctly (and not sure I am), this was the last time I heard all of that, which was about 11 months ago now. 

His fog is clearing at times and I am throwing a few more things in here and there.  Some seem to hit the mark.
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#21: September 17, 2013, 03:20:47 PM
"Did it ever occur to you that the problem may not be every thing else in your life but maybe something within you?"

Oh NO! You didn't suggest that did you? He's alright... it's the WORLD that's all wrong! ::)
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There are two ways of spreading light:
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Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#22: September 17, 2013, 03:22:56 PM
Oh wow trusting!  I am sooo going to remember that one!  I need to start writing these little nuggets down!! 
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"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowlege Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#23: September 17, 2013, 03:24:40 PM
 New Ways of Communicating = Keep mouth shut!  :) :) :)

LISTEN!
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#24: September 17, 2013, 03:26:28 PM
When I saw your name I KNEW THAT"S WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY..or type anyway ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#25: September 17, 2013, 03:47:13 PM
OP is right.  I need to listen to you, OP.  I will keep my mouth shut.  <sigh> 

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"I am a woman who only asked that I be treated fairly and with respect."
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowlege Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Its hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want." – Unknown
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#26: September 17, 2013, 04:04:26 PM
Good luck with that CT-  ;D ;D ;D ;D
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#27: September 17, 2013, 04:54:34 PM
Quote from: OldPilot on September 17, 2013, 03:24:40 PM
New Ways of Communicating = Keep mouth shut!  :) :) :)

LISTEN!

You know there is nothing to listen to with a vanisher, don't you?  ;)
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
t
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#28: September 17, 2013, 04:55:31 PM
Truth darts are definitely something to use very sparingly or they lose any effectiveness they might possibly have. 
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Re: Truth Darts and Other New Ways of Communicating
#29: September 17, 2013, 05:11:39 PM
Well one thing that somewhat worked with the mlcer I was dealing was I didn't say anything for a REALLY long time..then when I actually said something he listened.

But it had to be SHORT and to the point...but if he rambled on and on for HOURS that was supposed to be OK.. ::) I mean really He LOVED to hear the sound of his own voice I think. IF I wanted to go into any details he'd yell " GET TO THE POINT!"

Sometimes some things don't make any sense without details..so I'd get to the point with some stories and he'd look at me like "HUH?" and I'd say " You didn't want the details so there's the point"

No making them happy even communicating became such a chore it wasn't worth it.

So OP's method might be just great .....but if nobody's talking ..who's listening??
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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