Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer Touch and Go versus Reconnection  (Read 8750 times)

Offline Dontgiveup

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Interacting with Your MLCer Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2011, 09:57:41 AM »
My ex-wife is a Boomeranger, but not the Clinging variety, so I am hesitant to offer much wisdom on that.  RCR has quite a bit of info in the articles section about Clinging Boomerangers that might help.

Offline truth_seeker

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2011, 10:51:34 AM »
My H tends to make sure the dog gets let out in the morning when he swings by to pick up the kids for school, gives me a hug before leaving and will sometimes make me tea or coffee. Some casual discussions. But I'm not convinced these are touch n goes because I think they are guilt based.  He wants to appear the "good guy" in front of his kids but behind my back he's spewing.

Maybe I'm not understanding what a touch n go really is.  Because when he's nice it's as though he's my old H but then something inside me tells me he's putting on his mask and pretending.  So confused. 

As to whether he's a clinging boomerang I'm not sure yet either.  The jury is still out on that one.  I've read the articles and am still not sure but it maybe too soon to tell yet. 

Could use some more perspective as I'm confused about this as well. 
M41  H42
D18  S15
T23 M19
BD: 9/2010
H M/O and in w/OW 12/10

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."
Author Unknown

"STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. DON’T GIVE THE ENEMY THAT MUCH CREDIT!"
Matthew

Offline truth_seeker

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2011, 07:28:28 PM »
Could this be considered a touch n go?  After I picked up kids for H before his leaving out of town on vaca and said our goodbyes.  No hugs or anything from me just left like no big deal.  I didn't acknowledge his going out of town and acted as if. 

I get a text from H which says:  "please be safe this week! I would die if anything happened to any of you! have fun at the gold tie event. haha"

H also called S & D but they didn't answer as we were all having a good time at dinner. 

What do you think?  touch n go or not?


M41  H42
D18  S15
T23 M19
BD: 9/2010
H M/O and in w/OW 12/10

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."
Author Unknown

"STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. DON’T GIVE THE ENEMY THAT MUCH CREDIT!"
Matthew

Offline Mamma Bear

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #23 on: September 06, 2011, 08:16:20 AM »
  Touch N Go on Aug 29th. I was packing for vacation in Wildwood and H called about seeing us before we took off. :)
  He picked up the ds while i tried to drop my dog and cat up at my friend's house. i couldn't get there with all the downed trees and wires dangling :o
  He texted me to "Come back" he said he'd watch the pets at Bowser's Place. >:(  I said no thanks three times.  Then he asked "Why not?"   I texted that OUR dog and cat didn't need to see him having sex with someone who wasn't me.
   He said Ow is our age and I probably thought he'd run off with a college chippy :o i said "Who are you talking about Skank Ho?"     OOOOOOPs that just slipped out. He hung up. First time he's done that.
  I texted "apologies. I am just feeling like someone is superior to me." I told him we needed to make sure the Ds had a good send off for vacation. next thing I know he's up my a**. I came home he's checking the oil. Calling the car shop I need an inspection Yada yada.
 D 9 left her camera at his rat hole so he volunteered to go get it and bring it to the gas station where I was going to get an ice coffee and jump on the Thruway SOUTH baby.
 Well if you could've seen us in the parking lot(of course)
 He's giving me batteries for the camera. digging in his bag in his car. Following me to my car. Leaning in to my window putting his hand gently on my arm. My D11 said he was trying to hold my hand and I pulled away :o :o Safe trip yada yada.
 This all took about 20 minutes. Insane. he's ignoring the Ds mostly and honed in on me :o :o :o    He goes into the store at the gas station. I drive out of the parking lot d11 exclaims" he came out of the store and he's looking for us. he's looking for us."    :)   So now he's REARVIEW MIRROR. Texted us all week and called twice while we were on vacation. Touch N goes usually intense after i say things I shouldn't have. ie Skank Ho...I prayed for forgiveness and won't do that again. It' s not who i am. :)   
     

Offline Searching

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2011, 10:12:03 AM »
Mamma Bear;

I just have to say you make my feel so much better when I read your thread it gives me hope that I can get to the point your are at some day.  You are in such a good place with all of this craziness.  You make me laugh and wish I could have your personality and sense of humor when all I want do is cry.  I want to be your friend.  I think you could teach me things I need to change about myself.  Thank You.


Offline Mamma Bear

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2011, 12:38:47 PM »
 Aw That is so nice. PM me. Searching, I have bad days too. Usually when I  forget that in MLC he is on a wicked kind of auto pilot. Compelled to be selfish and confused and lost.
  He is trying to keep himself convinced that I pushed him away and these things happen all the time.
 It's like a poker game. I'm calling his bluff. It really helps tons mentally that I was always the breadwinner. I can float this ship without him. I'd rather he pulled himself up by his boot straps and pitch in to help with chores but God is in the driver's seat with this one. Since H convinced himself his depression all stems from ME and he's trying to alleviate it then 'have at it.'

  Luckily for me also I know him better than he knows himself.
  He is a guilt ridden person by nature. This whole abandonment scene he has orchestrated will definitely blow up in his face.  :o
  So I'm just sitting over here and chillin'....poker face :o
  Go deep inside, Searching and find the 'old' you. The one he fell in love with to begin with. She's in there somewhere and she is strong and funny and relaxed and calm and confident!!!  Unlike these Jello Pudding Packs we married. LOL

Offline NewBeginnings

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2011, 05:46:29 AM »

MB ~ I like you know that I know my H better than himself or anyone else.  The guilt will blow up in my H's face too.   He is still trying to justify why left.  :o I am sick of hearing it.  I called him about our taxes and he always has to go there with the blame.   I never bring up our relationship.  He does.  He's trying to convince himself he has done nothing wrong and it's all my fault.  :o   Whatever.  I'm GAL a life and doing fine.  I have my bad days still but when I get through them, I always feel stronger.  So that is a good thing.  Have a great day!

NB
New Beginnings
BD 2/25/11

Offline Musica

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #27 on: September 08, 2011, 02:00:15 AM »
Not sure if I understand the last post OP ??

Lots of T & G's here too. He wanted to be here all the time a few weeks ago when school was out ... he cooked meals, did jobs, cleaned my car, we went out as a family a few times, (his idea) and just me and him went out once too (his idea again)  Since then he went a bit distant, so did I as I felt things were moving too fast and he wasn't ready. He's also talked about his depression, even about MLC and about how he finds it difficult to relate to our daughters. I listened, made a few mistakes ( said too much sometimes) but he seemed to need to talk. He said no-one knows how he feels, and everyone feels sorry for me.   ::)  I said well people look at the facts maybe! 

Anyway, I think T &G's are fine, as long as you don't have any expectations  (right OP!)


Offline justasking

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #28 on: September 08, 2011, 07:28:05 AM »
Right  ;)
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Offline Mamma Bear

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Re: Touch and Goes
« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2011, 07:41:58 AM »
  Or your expectations are that he'll find his assurance that YOU are STILL THERE and STILL LOVE HIM....Then more weirdness and panicked running and avoiding. :o :o
  Yesterday I was wondering what OW Bowser thinks of his altered state. She must be a mess not to notice or care that this stranger in her bed is out of his mind and looks the part.  :o :o Even my Hs boss finally noticed that something is NOT RIGHT
about him and his daily routine. Unexceptable. Fired. Oh well no one said hitting Rock Bottom would be easy.  ::)

 

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