[leftylulu]

When I asked my MLCer 2 years ago he said he didn't know because he didn't know what it felt like. I can't wait to ask him when this is all said and done if he felt like he had a MLC and see what he says.

[Chrysalis]

When my ex came back for a short time six months after BD, I told him that he was having an MLC and he agreed that he thought he must be.

A couple of weeks later when we was back with OW and declaring that their relationship was permanent this time and they thought the same about everything, I said that I thought it was MLC (didn't realise at the time this was NOT the thing to do!).  He replied "Well, if it was that I would be stupid, wouldn't I?"

[OldPilot]

I don't really know whether she "knows" or not, however, during her stalking phase of me, she made up computer user names like, "anne.replay"  for an e-mail address, and her divorce busting name is "replay"  although she never made any posts with these names.

Her name here is "Divorce", since she registered here right after she filed.
So she did seem to be trying to send me a message I think.

So thinking about this, the pattern has been for her to use names based on the mental state that she was in at the time.

Maybe it was subliminal, IDK.

[summer progress]

My S23 told my H the week of the BD that he was going through MLC. My H told me this and I told him "Our S is right, you are going through it." That week, as I read more about it, I read him the indicators and he said "Now I just feel lame." H and I talk a lot about his journey and finding himself. He likes to call it a "transition." We discussed the difference between a transition and a crisis. He has admitted that he thinks he is going through MLC, but does not want to look anything up about it or work on it until he gets by himself (should be today or tomorrow when he moves out). I hope it is like alcoholics anonomous where admitting you have a problem is the first step.. we will see.

[kikki]

Not sure, but he would never admit it if he did ......

He's admitted that he knows there is something wrong with him, that he doesn't know who he is any more, that he is incapable of having a relationship with me or anyone (- poor OW - he probably should share that piece of information with her.  In fact I bet he has - she'd scrabble her needy way back in)

SP - I do think it is like AA where admitting you have a problem is the first step. 

My H has admitted he knows he's addicted to work and OW.  But said in a slightly panicked kind of way - 'Oh but I'm not ready to do anything about it yet!'  Hmmmmmmmm.  First steps in a process that takes YEARS.  Take a seat .... you'll need it

[Stillpraying]

The week my H was getting ready to move out, I had a talk with him about a few things and told him that my mum thought it may be a MLC.  he agreed that was possible.  Although, I really feel that neither my mother or H or I really knew what that meant at the time.  I mean, how serious that statement could be.
Not long after, when we were both in a mediation session H was very angry and stated his mother thought he was having a MLC and told him and he appeared very insulted by her observation.  I think in those few weeks he moved very deeply into the dark pit of the tunnel.

Looking back, when H left for a few days the first time, I tried to talk to him the second night he was back.  He got really upset, said he was tired and went to bed.  The next day I got an apology text where H also stated he was 'emotionally confused'.  Again, I didn't understand MLC at the time so didn't notice this comment until a few weeks ago when I accidentally found this text in my in box again.

[dollard]

no, my xh does not have a clue he is in a mlc

He did get upset when I told him in 2008,  2009 2010 and in 2011 and told me to stop analyzing him.

In 2008 he said  he changed, and he needs to go on a journey.
He is sorry if he will hurt everyone, and he hopes on day we will forgive him.
He told our daughter he wants three years fro this journey, he would like ten, but he believes it is asking too much.

He still does not have a clue he is in mlc.  He believes people change and move on

[NewBeginnings]

No, my H denies he is having a MLC even though everyone where he works told him he was having one.  Right after BD I looked up MLC and knew thats what was going on with him.    Yesterday was an unbelievable day for H and I.  We had a long talk.  I am going to start a new thread soon and update you all on what has happened. 

NB

[Mamma Bear]

 NB, We'll be waiting.

[Standing in Patience]

OP,

My h said I am "rewriting history" when h is rewriting our family history. Like other LBS I've noted he mentions different timelines when we were conversing by phone, email or text. H said that he hasn't been happy for ten years, etc. That in itself was my first clue that he might be having a mlc. I believe he has been irritable for nearly two yrs before BD (so that's my sense of the timeline). And how come he didn't discuss that with me? He said he expected me to read clues and he was dropping hints along the way. I am beginning to believe this has a lot to do with his own expectations that I should be able to read his mind and be the fixer again.

I wonder if they are reading sites on mlc and using the same "terms" we use on purpose or do they really believe this stuff.

Anyone out there - Did anyone read a thread from Hero's Spouse to their mlcer? Did it trigger a response? Positively or negatively?