[faithled]

  Our anniversary is tomorrow, and although I am very thankful how God moved me from a full-time jobto a good part time months ago, and my teenage boys are all doing so much better.....I have a Boomerang who wants to keep "coparenting" all the time, even tho they live with me, and other than e-mails about the boys, he ignores me.  I worked hard in my communication to balance appropriate boundaries with the boys' needs, and when he could be at the house.  I filed last Dec. for legal sparation when I found out about OW.....the process is supposed to be completing soon, as my husband has a business and was dragging his heels.  All that to say, I put my foot down to explain to him that once we are legally separated, I will not discuss anything financial with him, in other words not ask his permission to buy things the boys need.  I also told him it is recommended he not visit at the house at that time as well, which he does now while I am at work, 3 evenings a week.  (Sometimes he stays a bit, sometimes just quick). This was by e-mail one week ago....he has not initiated contact with me since.
     The flood of emotions of sadness this afternoon was almost debilitating as I approach our anniversary tomorrow.  It would not be rational from me to acknowledge the day to him.......I do work tomorrow eve., so that will be positive.  Was considering going on a getaway myself on weekend, but think better to stay here with sons?  I am confused and have prayed for guidance....not sure yet.  What would others do?  Anyone in similar situation?

Faithled

[Mermaid]

 In some ways it seems pointless to celebrate something they are making a mockery of. IMHO. But every sitch is so different.

My H hates anniversaries and birthdays. His first "date" with OW was on our wedding anniversary. Last year, we all had dinner out and he rushed out as quickly as he could to go and meet OW (while telling me that he only wanted to stay by himself).

So, the question is, what will you get out of it? How will your H react?

[Finding Hope]

I just had this problem. 9/6/11 was my 25th anniversary. I took the advise of people on this site and said nothing about it. I did something nice for myself, (had a big glass on wine and painted my toenails). He came home from work and didn't say a thing to me, so I didn't say anything to him. I was the most painful and hurtful thing that I ever had to do. I really just wanted to hug him. I pretended it was just another day. Went upstairs and cryed on my dogs shoulder. Sorry you have to go through this. It sucks. Keep your chin up honey, it's going to be one of hardest things your going to have to go through. ((((((((((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
Sherry

[Dontgiveup]

I am divorced from my MLCer, but there has been no acknowledgement of an anniversary since the one before bomb drop.

[Anjae]

Nothing since BD. faithled, do not me to acknowledge the day to him. Do go on your weekend get away. Why stick around if you have the canche to be away for a few days?

[faithled]

I see the point.  I will not say anything to him.....I probably will hear nothing from him.  I feel really sad and angry about all this tonight....I know it has been 2 1/2 years since BD.  Found out about OW last Dec....he moved in with her and her 2 boys in Jan.  It makes me soooooooooo angry.  I understand the psychology, but I am very low and angry tonight.

Faithled

[Covenant for Life]

My anniversary is on Saturday - our 23rd.  This will be the 4th anniversary since BD.  We did go out to dinner for our 20th, but H has NOT acknowledged the last two.  I know that H is leaving tomorrow to skate at a race in Duluth, MN on Saturday so I will not see him and am not anticipating hearing from H either.  I guess they conveniently have forgotten the vows that they made to us and to God.

[Anjae]

You'll probably hear nothing from him or he may be upset you did no bring it up. They are quite strange when in MLC. However, it does not make sense to bring up under the circunstances.

Try to be less angry. Do go away for the week end. Treat yourself well and kindly.

Hugs.

[covenantkeeper]

Today is my anniversary. And next Tuesday is our final divorce date. I'm not doing very well today. Doesn't it just figure that this year of all years, the 17th actually falls on a Saturday?!    My mind keeps replaying every hour of that day 34 years ago.

I would love to think h is at least remembering what today is, but in his mixed up mind, who knows?

[Moving Forward]

hello faithled,
BD was my on 14th wedding anniversary - he hasn't acknowledged a birthday, Mothers Day or weddinganniversary since he left nearly two years ago.

I have two young(ish) children so I ensure they treat his birthday and Fathers Day exactly the same way they did when he was still at home.

Expect nothing from him and then you'll not be disappointed is my pragmatic advice

((hugs))

P
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