[Rollercoasterider]

I have a long series on Erikson's stages of development.  It is incomplete--hopefully I will complete it in the new year when I have time...one more day left of working grave yard job!!!
 
http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/lifecycleanddevelopment-erikerikson.html

LINK needs to be fixed.......

[Bewildered]

RCR

let me know if you want any help? as my 1st degree was physiology and have ever since continued reading up on this subject as well as using it in my day job - marketing etc

B x

[HowLongBlues4U]

Your comments about a MLC H having an idenity crisis really hits home for me.  My H a couple days after he left came to visit and  actually said with tears streaming down his face  "I just don't fit in anywhere". He also was feeling that it was pitiful that he was 56 years old and couldn't express his feelings. He later called on his way back to his mom's house saying, "I am a broken man and I don't know what to do with all the pieces".   
My H when growing up became the man of the house at the age of 13.  He had three younger sisters, and a mom that didn't even drive. He had kicked his dad out of the house, told his mom it was either the old man goes or I do.
My heart goes out to him but now it is difficult to have too much simpathy when he is hurting me and his family so much.

[Patience]

OP--bewildered first posted this story on my thread.  I suggested she begin a new post with "return" stories as there is always hope. 

Yes, it's more of the same old, same old, BUT the key thing is he returned

[Bewildered]

P

I had to ask OP to post it as I couldnt get my computer or the web to - it kept freezing ..
I strted it as you sugested but thought that if I used the word returned it limited the journey stories as Im sure many MLC H/W may want to return but either lack the ciourage or the LBS is no longer interested?
B

[Courageous wife]

Thankyou for posting this...it is always good to see a reconciliation story!

[Bewildered]

CW

yes I agree - good news is always hopeful ?

wish it was something we could understand the trigger that gives the MLC er the courage to see the situation clearly enough to give the MLC er to the abiliyu to try and return .......

B xx

[Dontgiveup]

In the case of my ex-wife, I knew the not being good enough was an issue.  In our case, though, the not good enough has been her view of herself through her parents eyes.  When I read "Women in Midlife Crisis", this was one of the parts that directly hit home.  There is a piece in that book from Dr Dobson that talks about self-esteem, or lack thereof, as an adult being directly related to the developmental years.  The book also has an excellent part on depression.  Lack of self-esteem, depression, negativity, hopelessness.....all tied together in the perfect storm that is MLC.

[justkeepmoving]

Thank you for posting this.  I remain hopeful but sometimes I am weary of the time involved.  But then I remind myself that I have been with my H for 23 years and that if I WANT to wait for a few years then I will need to find the patience to edure.  I always say that I am standing for now as I don't know how I will feel or where I will be when I complete MY journey.

[Dontgiveup]

Sometimes I may sound like a broken record on this, but RCR has an excellent article on this website called MLC Takes Time.  With the information that RCR has written combined with the info the Conways have written, I have an understanding and even an empathy for my ex-wife.  I still find it both amazing and amazingly sad how a lack of emotional development during adolescence can cause these issues at midlife.