[Mamma Bear]

Crazy LOL yeah the garage door wide open..bringing things in bringing things out. One time he ran out of gas in his own driveway. Came here to get a gas can you can buy for$5 anywhere.   OW must know. Their antenae is up higher than ours by now. She probably sees a new ladder and starts imagining us and them talking and being around each other....HaHa then they can't know about DUCT TAPE so they start a fight about the ladder    We on the other hand "got it going on"

[crazyforhim]

OMG do you really think ow knows how much they contact us?

actually most of the time H comes by OW is sitting in the van waiting for him...now that's crazy. He isn't allowed to be on his own cause he might actually talk to me and enjoy it...LOL

[Anjae]

crazy, why don't you go out some more? You don't want to? Don't like to? Can't?

Ever thought about telling husband he needs to get is work stuff elsewhere? A warehouse, maybe? Some rented storage space?

What about tellinb him he needs to let you know before hand when he is going to drop by? If that is visible given that is work material he keeps at your house.

[Mamma Bear]

Crazy,  I don't think they know anything.  Remember the article their imagination is going wild. They thought once this story broke we'd file for D. When we don't  they're like   No Support Forum for losers.   So their imagination keeps going and they worry. They're afraid to say anything in the beginning but give it TIME (there's that word again)    Can you imagine? They must analyze everything they do. They must try and get a hold of their phone!!!!!   LOL

[crazyforhim]

Anne...I go out as much as I can but H only has kids every other weekend. But I think what I meant was H doesn't know how much I go out cause they aren't around. Hopefully D10 tells him when she visits but don't know for sure.

As far as the work stuff goes- this is the office/storage so everything is stored here cause there are other employees that come by to pick up equipment and stuff as well. No point in moving it all- too much to move and trying to keep costs down so I actually don't mind it being here cause that means ow has to come here to- that's gotta drive her nuts...seeing me and H together...heehee 

[LearningIamOk]

AnneJ, No one is attacking you. We are the ones on the defensive. We support your decision to move on. Support ours to Stand. You know how hard this is, you've been in it for 5 yrs. But you are really young. I am 52, married 31 yrs in Nov, 4 adult children and even if I choose to divorce, I will never not have contact with my H. I have a lot at stake here.

You, on the other hand can run for the hills as free as a bird and start over. My Best Friend and her first H married young and divorced soon after. No kids and she has no idea where he is or what he is doing.

Be aloof with your H. It doesn't hurt anything. You just need to let go of the bitterness and anger. 5 yrs is a long time to feel those emotions. I stopped talking to my H for 10 days years ago. I still remember the tremendous amount of energy it took to stay mad. It was exhausting.

Have you been done wrong. YES. Do you deserve to be angry. YES. You have been both of these. Now, for your own benefit, please choose to let them go. How have they enhanced your life? Go date. Find someone wonderful. Change teams. Just find some happiness.

Your M may be one of the ones that doesn't survive. But you need to survive the M. You still have a long life ahead of you.

[offmyrocker]

Annej,

I believe that most here completely understand you wanting to stand down and give up on your h... It's your choice... Your life... Your future. Even RCR has questioned someone in her coaching that didn't have children and was close to not ever becoming a mother if they wanted to stand and take the chance of giving that up. So i do thing we are all empathetic to your sitch. I think what may have rubbed us the wrong way is maybe the way that you wrote some of your questions... For someone who is new and trying to grasp a little hope to get through the early days, or a difficult part of their journey...  that little bit of hope that they look for in all of these threads is what keeps them going... So even though you have gone through all these years and your life is taking you in another direction... Others here need help in being lifted up... Just as you need the validation that its OK to make the choice that you have.

(((hugs)))
OMR

[Anjae]

Learning, thanks for your reply. I do respect all of you that stand. It is very hard. And I know that.

Not young enough to starting having children...I think...


I'm not angry. I had been for the first couple of years not anymore. Just tired (physically). But not because I'm angry. For several reasons some that have nothing to do with the marriage. Marriage related, it tires to go through court cases (unless you're a lawyer and just love it) and the huge amount of time a simple case takes in my country leaves anyone dead.

But I'm happy... no need to find it. Already find it.

I will survive the marriage. 

crazy, you're right, if your house is the warehouse/storage room, no need to move everything around. It will cost and more costs are the last thing we need.

OW will surely be driving nuts. But, and plese don't take offense, don'te you think that, sometimes, we buy as much into the drama as MLCer and other person? Or thar we even had to the drama? That, I think, happened a bit during my husband's OW1.

thanks as well,  offmyrocker. Yes, people that are new here need the validation. And they always will have it from me.

[crazyforhim]

Anne..no offense taken. We are here to support but not offend.

As for the drama...yes sometimes we are dragged into it by H- but I pick and choose what I respond to and what I don't. Just feel like I should also play the game every once in a while. Since that is what it feels like- not real life for sure- yet!

[Anjae]

 

At first, with OW1 I would just react. Later, started to only reacted when I choose to. TIt is a bit like a game, yes. And of course we play it sometimes. Don't think that is much of a problem. For the MCLer it is not. In the end they'll remember nothing.