[L&S]

Wow Anne, he must have thought highly of you to offer an hotel.  After all, he resorted to using OW1's car for the purpose.

Yikes.

[Anjae]

Wow Anne, he must have thought highly of you to offer an hotel.  After all, he resorted to using OW1's car for the purpose.

Yikes.

Well, at the time he had no other choice. He was living in a rented room, in the house of a person we both know, where he had been receiving OW1 (no way I was going to go for that and not even he is that mad). So, other options would be, my family or his family house. Not an option, given that he did not wanted the families to see us together.

After reading their fabulous stories I can only think of his proposal: habit, he was used to take OW1 to hotel bedrooms.

The purpose in OW1 car did not went very far. Kids stuff, really. It is all so amuzing, yet, so sordid.

[Anjae]

I'm still keeping stuff, cleaning old joint projects email accounts, going through documents. What do I find? Correspondence between husband and OW2.

Like OW1, OW2 aproached husband on his myspace. She already knew him for the party and club scene. She was more subtle than OW1, starting to talk to him about the parties, the people that was on them and so on.

Weirdly, when she first aproached him on his myspace, I now know, he was breaking with OW1. He does not say it to OW2 in those words, he says that one of the nights they meet at a club he was sad because, something had happened to him. she is very sweet and nice and validates is feelings.

He is different with her than with OW1, more like he was with me. But the fool does not get that OW2 is only into him because he is a knowed person in the clubbing(party scene that can get her into places she has never been to or take her for free into places she need to pay to get in.

It all starts with him saying "you do notice details, don't you?n Because yesterday you said you could notice in my writing that I was a bit more up". She keeps saying nice things no burning "I love you, you're the love of my life".

She was just the person that was there when OW1 was no more? Maybe. Thing is, while OW1 was no more and OW2 was not officialy OW2, husband come and talked to me, told me OW1 was no more, wanted to date me, to take to a hotel bedroom and see if things still worked.

He was talking to me on messenger at the same time he was talking with OW2 to be, or OW2 that already was. So, in reality, there was no gap time between OW1 and OW2, they may even overlaped for a while.

But OW2, just like OW1 in the first months of their relashionship, was not a PA.

He never had any time to be by himself and I'm certain that, just like with OW1, he started telling more and more to OW2 as time went by.

I cannot possibly see why would someone be interested in a man once you find out he was married and had OW1, except if you have a material and social benefit out of it, as OW2 did.

She was the nice sweet thing I was not because I did not wanted to become his girlfriend after OW1. Even if I had it would had been a disaster, OW2 lives in the city he lives, she was always around, and he keep his "I want to divorce and you will get nothing".

Now that I know he knew OW2 since, at least late 2007, and that she was around when OW1 was no more, that husband started do talk about himself, I'm certain all this fault divorce stuff, that husband once, in 2006, had talked about but dropped because a lawyer told him he would only loose everything, was pushed by the very nice "I worry so much with you" OW2 and a lawyer friend.

Amazing how my husband, a man that never talked about himself, me or our marriage, all of a suden manages to tell a lot to OW1 and OW2. He, that was so careful not to share intimitade details because he did not wanted people to knwo about himself and because our marriage was our privatev issue.

What can one do?...He really did change his personality. And, of course, he had no time whatsoever to grow or think about all the stuff he had been up to. Jumped from one OW to another OW.

How are the chances of this second great love affair to end well?...How long after husband will be divorced, and made to give me alimony, will ir last? And what if he does not get divorced?... And what about if husband stops to be party boy "I'm the king of the club scene"?...Well, OW2 does not want him to stop such thing, she is all in favour of the partying and going out and about all the time, running around the finest clubs in Europe.

Ladys and gentlemen, please place your bets! 

PS, must add they these two (husband and OW2 are lasting a lot).

[Anjae]

OK, I was wrong, there are "I Love you, I love more and more each day", "It feels great to be looked after like this"; "I love looking after you", "I Love you everyone, each day a little more". And all those "I want to go and do/see this with you so much", it is just like with OW1

After a few months they are professing their undying love for each other.

OW1 has also, now and then, keeped in touch, writing husband while drunk, telling him how much she miss him, telling him about her new men...

Hard to believe any of this "I love you so much, I love you each day more and more" that husband says to OW1 and OW2. In-fatuation, I called it.

[honour]

Husband: “I did not wanted to hurt you, my love, nor I want you to compromise your values for me. I, to, need to overcome some values so that we can be together. Sometimes I try not to even think about what I’m doing, if I think too much I would most likely not do what I’m doing. So, I let myself be guided by my heart.”

They surely do inhabit Planet GaGaLand.

We often say they are in fantasy land and then you read stuff like that and it is proof positive.

My W used almost the same words when speaking to my son about what she was doing, she said, "you want to do what your head is telling you but you have to follow your heart"

Thank you for posting this AnneJ, it gives us an insight into the very weird world and thought processes of MLC.

I'm going to join LG and be gagged with a SPOON!!!

honour

[StandandDeliver]

AnneJ,

I recovered some of H's emails between OW and him before he left to live with her - bearing in mind their affair was only 3 months old when he left, so it was still the beginning. They were not just juvenile they were painfully mundane.

Like
H "what are you doing this weekend?"
OW, "I have to do laundry"
H "oh, poor you, that sucks, I am thinking of you"


WTF - I was forever doing laundry for him, his two children, our home... don't remember "oh poor you, I am thinking of you"

They are not just juvenile, they are sad.

I have dated a couple of men since BD, and we have discussed a lot of things - politics, literature, music, travel, art (one friend that I had the fling with and who stayed with me for a week in the summer, we cooked together, joked about a lot of stuff cos we knew each other forever, but even with him, other than saying "feel free to use the washer" we did not sympathise over laundry. What a sad start to a R. If that is all you can talk about at the start of a R, where is it going??)

[Anjae]

honour, you're welcome. I fear that this is only a tiny part of what is going inside their minds.

saying they live in la la la land is being to soft. They live in I lost my mind land.

Maybe that thing of wanting o do what the head tells but going with the heart is part of the sript. Both male and female, with or without children, in whatever continent they are and whatever language they speak, they say the same things.

Stand, you're right, more than juvenile they are mundane. And sad. Like my husband thanking OW1 and OW2 for took care of him. Well, I took care of him for over a decade plus all the years we were together before moving with each other.

Or when he is talking with OW1 about had done the dishes, keep the house, went to pay bills. Both with OW1 and OW2 he talks about music. He is very much into music so he plays pygmalion with both of them. And they get very happyb to have and follow the advise of such man. Would not work with me because I know as much about music as he does.

I have dated as well and, like you, we discussed music, films, literature, art, politics, history. They were interesting people and so were the talks.

What I find of husband's correspondence with OW1 and OW2 is just silly. No maturity in it, no deepth, just superficial shallow things.

Husband also used our joint projects email accounts to take care of affairs of his new life. It is all empty stuff. He just contacts party goers, hipster, club owners, djs. Not an once of anything worthy there. What a sad pathetic life he is leading. Glad I'm very away form it.

It is clear by the correspondence that he never had OW withdrawal because he jumped from OW1 to OW2. And there he went, doing all the same mistakes all over again, in a much higher dosage.

If he would come knocking my door right now I would have no idea what do talk about with him, let alone what to do with him. He become the champion of vanity and the king of party/club land, missing on any subject except all the trendiest parties in the nation and all around Europe.

Is there any chance of anyone to recover from such shalowness?...Have no idea where the man I knew is.

Even his way of writing changed. The words and frasing he uses to talk to OW1 and OW2 are not the ones he used with me, the tone he uses in the contacts with new life mates also is not the one he had when talking to former friends or doing business. This really is an alien!

[Anjae]

La la la land does have a lot of practicalities. Guess they see it all like a romantic pink fluffy clowd...

For me, now, it is useful to read all this stuff he elft in our joint projects emails. It shows me more than parts of the affiar. It shows me a part of husband I did not know, the ladies man. Not that he is sleeping with all the women he talks with, nor exchanging burning conversations, but he is setting up meetings for having a coffee, to meet and go out. All this during OW1 and until OW2 becomes the "girfriend".

OW2, unlike OW1, lives in the same city he does and she has to tell her where he is at and with whom. Not so with OW1. From what I get he did not told her a thing.

He lied to me and he lied to her. Found out he was also lying to me at the same time he was lying to OW1, when he was meeting this women for coffee and going out.

This from a man that would have never though about going out for a coffee with a woman he wasn't married before, except long term friends of both of us. By now his mobile must be full of women phone numbers!

Just in case he will ever be back and I may decide to take him back, I have a huge list of names to block. Better, he must change his mobile, all his email addresses, delete myspace, twitter, facebook account and any other similar stuff. Otherwise, sorry, I'm not even gonna bother having him back.

He may, if/once back, quit all those people but they will not let go of him, He is too much of a social item for them to back off.

[ziggee]

Ok so I am a techno geek and can/could read my Wifes txts and e-mail and everything... I stopped because most of the mlc website info seemed to suggest that it was best... in fact since I stopped I feel SOOO much better.   I have not read anything in 3 or 4 months and I feel better becuase well... that $hit aint real and well I wonder what the word would think if they could read every stupid think I might think.. Even though it might not be true... Wonder what the world thinks about the invasion or privacy... funny thing is W thinks I am still reading them because she is as transparent as an open book and cant lie to save her life... so when i say ah hah ok what ever... have a nice time.. she says.. ur reading my stuff again arn't you? 

Guess I figured right... :/

Me.

[Anjae]

No idea what the worlds think of invasion of privacy but in my case I did not invade no one privacy . Husband used our joint projects email accounts. So, if anything, he invaded our private privacy and property to exchange messages with OW1 OW2 and a few other women. He only did this after he left and our projects were put on hold.

The other part of the stuff I found was on a file in our shared computer. I'm going through old stuff that I need to keep, sort out, delete, and/or separated for my legal defense. That was when I come across all this stuff.

If I have seen this stuff at the timw it was written I would have went crazy. Lucky for me I have not seen it until now.

But it is no one fault that husband used joint property to his affairs love letters. He should had been smarter!  Well, he was smart enough to fool me for months on end and to keep me on the dark about lots of stuff for years.

No, I'm not gonna tell him I've found all this.