[Synicca]

No, I don't think I am wasting my time thinking about the A. The information I get gives me insight into not only their A , but in other relationships in my life as well.

LGO....I feel the same way....for myself, it gave me info on whether or not I would allow my D to be around the OW...I am glad that I found out so much quite early on, otherwise my D would have been horribly subjected to alot of their fighting....so without this type of info how would we know it is safe for them?? I surly do NOT give OW all my head space, but I'll be damned if I stay oblivious to how toxic it is, just so I dont "look" like I give her power....Power has nothing to do with it, when kids are involved. IMHO

[NewBeginnings]

Synicca ~  Exactly!!!!  When kids are involved we have to know about these OW.  We are only protecting our kids.

NB

[With Gods Help!]

Hi for those that think about o/w i truly think its normal.yes in the beginning we do this because of shock and low self esteem........we tend to compare who wouldn’t.........but later on especially for those with CB i think its vital that we pass on info about the mlc and o/w or how do we help those who are behind us or those who have vanishes who probably sit there and think that their spouse and ow/om are happy.....how do we get articles that state that these ow/om are affair downs etc if we do not tell our stories.........whilst i don’t let o/w take over my life i do know i need to be aware of what’s going on in her R with my h.......we need to see how fecked up it is.......and just how far these o/w will go in order to warn others what to expect in the worse case scenario.........  i love to read about o/w and just how low they become because this confirms to me that the R is not healthy.........can you imagine if we all wrote nothing about ow/om many people would crack up or go insane believing that o/w and our spouses were truly happy....what hope would that give.......i do think when we write things about ow/om and people comment like this it helps us to become better spouses because we begin to do the opposite of these ow/om by that i mean become less demanding, needy, desperate, nagging we be come the opposite to these ow/om........ as for not all o/w being affair downs mine defo was/is she knew me and h were married and even if she didn’t the minute she knew she should have walked away.........xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   

[Mamma Bear]

 I am so happy that my H never asks to bring the Ds around OW Bowser.  In the beginning he'd give it a shot. After enough NO WAYs he gave up   That's gotta be good news somehow.
  Bowser must complain 'where are the kids?' OW withdrawal I dunno maybe someday that'd be nice. He can't have an R with anyone that is for sure. So withdrawal for a nobody...4 weeks sounds right.

[kikki]

Mamma - my kids have also been really firm and clear about NO WAY they will meet OW.
I too feel very lucky about the solidarity.  They feel as betrayed and abandoned as I do 

[ziggee]

What I wonder about OM is... contrast her statements like "i'm not good enough for you" etc... add that... to he kinda reminds me of learch (sp?).  He is not much of a thinker.. does not stand up or even stand for much.  So does that mean... because she is not good enough for me she is good enough for a shallow dork?  He waffles when when ever her could actually make a statement that makes a difference.   I am not saying I am any kind of great catch or anything... but I work hard... I care about the people I love... I am dedicated... I can be amusing... compared to... I can tell jokes that most of us got over in grade 7.  Lets all tell pee pee jokes..

Bleah...

Me.

[Mamma Bear]

KiKi,   I know ,  me and the Ds are a package deal!!!!  OK? That works.

[kikki]

Mamma - package deals are perfect 

Ziggee - what your W is saying is true.  She knows you are better than this outrageous MLC behaviour and yes, she is with someone who can make her feel TRULY SPECTACULAR right now.  (when your self esteem is a low as a MLCer - we all know what that means the OW/OM must be like).

[Anjae]

What I wonder about OM is... contrast her statements like "i'm not good enough for you" etc... add that... to he kinda reminds me of learch (sp?).  He is not much of a thinker.. does not stand up or even stand for much.  So does that mean... because she is not good enough for me she is good enough for a shallow dork?  He waffles when when ever her could actually make a statement that makes a difference.   I am not saying I am any kind of great catch or anything... but I work hard... I care about the people I love... I am dedicated... I can be amusing... compared to... I can tell jokes that most of us got over in grade 7.  Lets all tell pee pee jokes..

Bleah...

They don't want a thinker, nor someone that truly cares for their loved ones. Yep, they are good enough for shallow, futile, silly, low standards people. So, they are right, they are not good enough for us. Not during the MLC.

[With Gods Help!]

My kids have nothing to do with o/w...and never will.........my h's family and friends have nothing to do with her.........once my BIL asked when they were goner meet her, he said this out of curiosity because h never took her anywhere near them and still doesn’t ................my h said never he wouldn’t do that as it wasn’t fair to me who was still very much part of family  what o/w accepts this only a desperate one......they must be delude themselves and what on earth does o/w's family think when my h gets no family visiting him at o/w's house,,,,,,o/w family don’t know my h was/is having affair........wonder what he tells them when they ask about his FOO .............its mind boggling.......lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx