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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Return Stories Cont..

c
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Mirror-Work Re: Return Stories Cont..
#110: August 17, 2013, 01:30:11 AM
I guess if they already have the sports car they do the opposite lol.

Also he didnt like flying so their holidays had always been limied but had been making plans to go to Paris for their anniversary, he was going to try and do the flying bit for the special occasion.

Wife couldnt understand it when he went with ow on several holidays abroad, something they had never done.

Makes us left behind think they are doing these things for the other person, things they never did for us, when really they are just acting as total opposites.
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k
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n
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#112: September 11, 2013, 10:37:17 AM
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I
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#113: September 11, 2013, 12:30:27 PM
Thanks for the link to a great story...

I have some hope these days, catch up on my thread...

 http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3546.msg243712#msg243712

In Memory of all those lives lost and all the heroes of 9-11. God bless America!
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M 51 - H 50 /  M 21 yrs
No kids/ 1 dog
BD 11-13-10
Separated
Live w/OW for 2 years
As of 12-2012 no longer living with OW.
6-2013 told me he would like to come back.

S
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#114: October 06, 2013, 03:31:37 PM
Just wanted to share some good news.....

After 2 1/2 years of him being gone and after 1 year of me completely detaching from his MLC, he told me last weekend, out of the blue, that he's ready to come back home. :o  He wants to come home and he loves me.

 Nothing else said, yet. I learned so much about detaching and when he asked me if I'd take him back, I waited a minute or two, looked at him and said "Of course, I want you to come home".   He held me in his arms the rest of the time he was here and then he went back to his place.   He is coming back when his lease is up in 4 weeks.   

 I know he will need lots of time to spill more, but I am willing to give him time.

He booked us on a cruise to the Caribbean, the day after Christmas, just the two of us.  A room with a balcony :o 8)

I don't even really know what to think, yet.  I am so far detached, I think I am scared to let my guard down.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, I'm just so scared to get hurt again. 

Wish me luck, ladies.  Here it goes...... 

Hope
BD April 2011
OW found July 11

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married 26 years
2 D 20, 24
BD:  April 2011
moved out May 2011
OW (out of state) confirmed July 2011 (sent me a text, meant for her!!)  ex wife-married 1 year
Clinging Boomerang
2/2013 - says wants to come home, but needs counseling, first

c
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#115: October 08, 2013, 07:37:52 AM
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D
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#116: October 11, 2013, 05:46:58 PM
My friend and his MLCer ex-wife have remarried.  They decided to do so on their original anniversary.

The story....

She left shortly after bomb drop to go back where she was originally from.  She divorced my friend about 8 or 9 months post bomb drop, and married alienator #1 a few months later.  Alienator #1 was her high school boyfriend who she had not seen in 25 years.  Their marriage lasted 18 months and she moved in with alienator #2.

She returned about 8 months ago and they have been rebuilding their relationship.  They remarried each other just a few days ago.  That's the scoop as I know it.
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D
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#117: October 12, 2013, 05:31:33 AM
DGU, you are the master of the concise post.  It all sounds so simple when you put it like that, but of course we all know it hasn't been.  I am absolutely thrilled that it turned out that way; I've been following that story since you first wrote about it, which must have been when the forum began.
I should have written it was 5.5 years from bomb drop until remarriage in their situation.  The basic time frame for their story is as follows......bomb drop to divorce was about 9 months, with marriage to alienator #1 about 3 months later.  So she married the alienator about a year after bomb drop. 

Married to alienator #1 for 1.5 year, then moved directly in with alienator #2.....which would have been about 2.5 years post bomb drop.  She lived with alienator #2 for two years, although she moved out on him twice for short periods of time....which takes it to 4.5 years post bomb drop.  At that time, she told my friend she wanted to move back near him and see if there was a chance they could work on things, which she did about 2-3 months later.  My friend agreed, though as he said.....until her SUV was in the driveway he wasn't sure if he believed it or not.

They got her a place to live not far from him and started rebuilding.  Their communication during the nearly five years she was gone was e-mail.  He had not physically seen her in 4.75 years, and had only talked to her by phone about a half dozen times, mostly just before she returned.

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l
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#118: October 22, 2013, 02:07:30 PM
I have a friend who maybe 4 years ago or less was downsized from her job in the States and had what we all thought was situational depression.  She even toyed with the idea of an affair with a man from our teenage years. (I think she did but just won't admit it)  Then about 2.5 years ago she ran away from her husband and child back to our home country.   I never understood what she was doing and when asked, her stories never really made sense.  Then my husband started down his path and I started to see the similarities between the two of them. 

She has gone back and forth over if she loved her husband or not. She rewrote history as best as I can tell. I could only tell from when they lived near me and I shared parts of those times with them. Otherwise I would not be really privy to the truth other than what she said.  She totally changed for awhile. She started living life very differently than the person she was before. She dated non stop and even "fell in love" all while not being truthful with her husband who remained standing back home. He  told her when she left that he would give her time to figure herself out and that he would give her one year. Well one year turned into more than that. She admitted at one point that she think she had some form of a mental breakdown that caused her to run back to her hometown and abandon her husband and child.  She too thinks she did nothing wrong as it had to be done to save herself.

She had many return visits to her husband and child under the pretense of visiting the child, holiday season. She gave them hope but then would leave and continue on her path.  She finally said enough at the end of the summer and decided that she could no longer love him in the way he wanted her to. In that conversation that she told me, she flipflopped on this decision multiple times.  Anyways, she forced the ending of their marriage at the end of August and the house is gone. He is now in a condo and the excess stuff sold, family pets given away.  It was hard on him and he was very worried about her.  She couldn't decide if she was happy or sad.

We had a falling out last month as I was upset about her attitude towards my feelings about my husband and dealing with my children on my own.  I sent a truth dart her way on her situation that she did not take kindly too. I was a bit rude in my delivery. I am sad to report .  Anyways last night I received a call from her.  She realized she screwed up and she called her husband to come home. She wanted her husband. He is the love of her life.  She wants to come home.  This is a first. She has never asked before. She would just show up.  This is different.  She is distraught. 

Her husband declined. 

I don't think this story is finished yet though.

This really made me think last night. It so came out of nowhere for me and I hope for a happy ending for these two together. Together they make a great team.
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Mentor - Phoenix

L
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#119: November 01, 2013, 06:31:14 PM
I want to share a return story.....not sure it was MLC or not. I've mentioned my friend before in some of my posts. She and her ex divorced 15 years ago. He moved a much younger woman and her 3 kids into their house immediately after my friend left him. My friend and him had been married for 10 years and dated 5 yrs....so together 15 years. Strange how the 15 yrs. Seems to be significant. This was my friends second marriage. So, she didn't have anything to do with him for about a year after their divorce. He tried to communicate with her at first but she refused.  He finally got rid of the OW....he realized pretty quick that he had made a major mistake. I don't really think this was MLC....but maybe a midlife transition. My friend said her ex had started treating her pretty terrible prior to her leaving him.  Anyway, after the first year her ex called and asked her to meet him for dinner.  They have been "together" in a platonic relationship ever since....15 yrs......they did everything together as a regular couple....family dinners, vacations, holidays, etc. She has a married daughter and grandchildren from her previous marriage. Her ex never had his own family so her family is his family as well.  Her ex went through a "wild" phase....working out, buying speed boats, drinking, etc. all prior to her leaving and continued after she left but it got worse. So, now after 15 years.....they have decided to get back together more permanently. She plans to move in with him and sell her home. They are both retired so it just makes sense for them to live together and take care of each other. They have made plans to start traveling more. They have actually gone to the beach for a few days. She said she will take his last name back....but not sure about renewing their vows.  Regardless of whether this was a midlife transition or not....it fills my heart with so much happiness and love for them both.  I need to add that my friends ex had asked her many years ago to come back.....to live with him but she refused due to some other issues going on between them. They just decided to remain friends all these years.  He has changed...no drinking and he goes to Church with her (something he never did before). Also, my friend has changed as well.  She is no longer bitter or angry. I certainly don't intend to wait 15 years.....but it still gives me hope. My friend told me that my ex is going to wake up one day and realize what a great person he dumped....and maybe come back. One can hope and pray.


Edit - OldPilot
This thread has been cleaned up and the comments are on the thread listed at the top of each page. Again Please limit posts here to return stories only.

Comments for this post here
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3912.msg263105#msg263105
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« Last Edit: December 03, 2013, 05:58:58 AM by OldPilot »

 

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