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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Return Stories Cont..

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Mirror-Work Re: Return Stories Cont..
#40: June 13, 2012, 07:51:17 PM
I had a co-worker just tell me that he reconciled with his ex.  They are not getting remarried but they are together. 

It took 5 years though.  At the time, he did not know about MLC.  All he knew was that she had changed, wanted to drink and party all the time, and was not a wife or a mother.  After about 3 years of that, they had a lot of arguments, and my co-worker filed to divorce her.  It was a nasty divorce, and took over a year.  A lot of drama, with the cops being called etc...

Immediately after his divorce finalized, severally months ago... he went back to the UK, where he came from, and and got engaged with a woman he previously knew.

He came back to the US because they still had a house to sell.  While he was in the US, they stayed in the same house.  He could not rent another place.  The MLCer asked for forgiveness, and my co-worker wasn't sure what to do.  I havent spoken with him for a couple of months but went to lunch with him today.

I found out that he made up his mind, and broke it off with the woman he got engaged with in the UK.  The divorce has caused them to have their house foreclosed, and they spent a small fortune on attorneys.

He seemed to have forgiven her, and they are rebuilding.  Nothing is easy, and there is all the repercussions of the divorce to deal with.  He still doesn't fully trust her, and thinks he will not marry her again.  He is with her, and wants to just see how it goes.  She is very remorseful, and she tries very hard to make the relationship work.

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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#41: June 20, 2012, 12:15:29 PM
Ok for you male LBSers thinking there aren't enough stories of wives coming back to the husbands here's one:

http://www.faithandmarriageministries.org/2009/01/26/god-can-and-will-turn-a-prodigals-heart-by-stephanie/

The above link is a reconciliation story, of sorts.  The couple are not reconciled because the husband stopped standing for his wife and by the time she came to her senses he became the prodigal.  Also note Responses at the bottom from Gina and Lynn.
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#42: June 30, 2012, 02:40:31 AM
A lady I know through work told me about a couple she knows from a few doors away.

They divorced about 10 years ago, but they never split up.  They still live in the same house and do everything together. Every summer they go on holiday together.

Not sure if it was MLC, but still, an unusual living arrangement.
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#43: July 10, 2012, 02:07:29 PM
Just had a landscaper here who did work for us about 6 years ago. I told him Beloved had left our marriage...he looked at me and said "you two?" with a complete look of disbelief.

He then told me of his cousin, the opposite occurred after 36 years, his wife left for someone else. 3 years later, she wanted to come back but his cousin had moved on.... the landscaper said it was such a shame because their family just doesn't feel the same with someone "new".
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

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https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#44: July 10, 2012, 04:04:54 PM
I know that feeling.  Although it is less and less often that I run into people that have not heard about the split, they are all in shock.   A few days ago my H's cousin called me and said she had heard what he had done (leaving our marriage) and said to me in support.  " I am appauled by his behavior etc"  Then she told me her husband had done that 12 years ago  .   I knew they split, but I thought it was her choice as she left town and I did not talk to her about it.   (never knowing one day we would share this kind of story)

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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#45: July 31, 2012, 01:19:48 PM
Just saw this one - 48 years in between D and remarriage!  They don't say MLC, but they were 20 years in when they D'ed.  Probably safe to draw conclusions!

http://abcnews.go.com/US/buffalo-couple-85-remarry-48-years-divorce/story?id=16891414
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#46: August 02, 2012, 09:26:01 AM
Here's a link to a blog where a marriage got restored even after multiple infidelities

http://standingformarriage.blogspot.com/2011/07/pleasedo-not-give-up.html
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#47: August 04, 2012, 09:34:39 AM
W2H4E:    THANK YOU for this post.    I've been praying all day....... praying for a resolution, praying for it to just "be over" - what ever that meant.    I know that God sent me to this site today and to your link.    Thank you!   :-*
That is fantastic, NVR, I am so glad that you found some encouragement!

Here's another link to a restored marriage.  This particular page was written while the lady, Sheri, was waiting for her marriage to be restored.  It's never been updated with the details of a reconciliation but that is briefly mentioned at a different page on the site, the Stand By Me page, in a Sept 30 prayer post.

http://www.believinggodformarriage.com/home/our-story-1
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#48: August 18, 2012, 12:45:26 AM
I jut thought I would share some anecdotal evidence. Since reading up and understanding MLC I can recognise it so many relationships that go awry around this time.
mil explained she went off around this age pursuing her own thing. When she realised what she'd done FiL had fallen in love with someone. She regrets to this day!
My brother went off the rails at 37 got his own flat, was a clinging boomerang! Gave up his flat 4 years later moved back in with family full time.
Friends H had affair, blamed wife left wife with 2 small kids. Dumped OW then whilst living bachelor lifestyle had breakdown, therapy for years. 4 years later asked to come back, said heade terrible mistake! She said no I have met someone else!
Other friend H had affair, then breakdown, then therapy then they fell in love again created a more mature, new relationship.
And another friend H spent 2 years in the wilderness having affair, saying he will move out etc. they are together and he refers to those two years as the mad years!
So 5 out of 5 MLCers regretted their behaviour and wanted back in! 2 out 5 LBSs had moved onto new partners and so chances of reconciliation gone. 3 out of 5 reconciled and still together stronger than ever I think!!!!
Just what I know but seems pretty positive outcomes to me. All examples are different of course but similarities and stages are the same! Uncanny!
Hope hope eh!
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#49: August 18, 2012, 08:37:10 AM
3 more for the collection! :)

My H's aunt went through a few years of extreme change (most notably her daughter marrying a guy who was critically ill - he lived - but they moved in with the aunt and uncle for a long time, and her mother dying without anyone telling her!).  Suddenly started showing up at family gatherings with huge weightloss, being way more boisterous than usual, telling the same stories over and over again.  Out of the blue, runs off with a biker, tells my H's uncle that she may or may not be back from Sturgis with this guy!  She moves in and out of the family home several times.  Last breakup I think was last November, when my MIL was complaining that she was tired of getting calls from her saying they were back together, just to break up right away!  In March, my H called me and said they were back together for good.  Get this:  she had taken a huge fall and lost a ton of teeth.  The biker guy then told her to hit the road, he was no longer interested.  So my H's uncle took her back, and they were working it out in earnest.  The downside (besides losing a bunch of teeth!) was that the grown daughter was still very angry at how badly her father was treated, and wants nothing to do with her mother.  I think the entire ordeal started 2008 or early 2009.

When my H first left, a male colleague reached out to me.  He's 57, and he was around 40 when he "ran off and started a new family".  But he said his W was a strong woman of God, and stood, even while he had kids with his new wife (who he said was NOT his W, even though they legally married - he would only refer to his covenant W as his real W).  He said he found Christ, realized what he'd done, and thanked God his W still wanted him.  They now run a business together and he said he has never been happier, and encouraged me to ride it out, whatever it was.  Again though, he said it was his grown children with his covenant W that were the hurdle.  He said he was still actively trying to re-earn their trust, love, and forgiveness, because he understood why they were angry.

AND...another colleague said when he was also around 40, he "lost his mind" and got an apartment for 6 months.  His W graciously took him back, and he said from there they relearned each others' love languages and he started to give her more space (maybe they were both MLC?).  They're together still 35+ years and spend everyday doing activities together.  They have an adult child, but no problems seem to have come from their time apart.
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