[Synicca]

Remember Mamma...Even though the BPD partner KNOWS how to manipulate...your MLCer is in the FOG and cant SEE her
for what she really is...

Give him time, Right now...I believe honey is "starting" to really see that OW is off a bit..LOL

I am just waiting for the "TRUTH" to manifest and he peaks out of the tunnel long enough to really grasp that it IS her and not him.
He blames himself because he has ( like this article ) treated OW alot like SHE has treated HIM...and that causes him to TRY and act
"better" so that "maybe" she will be nicer. It doesnt work. but he has tried this since the beginning. Ugh!

Soon, when he realises that SHE used him...He will start to see just how bad it REALLY was.

[Mamma Bear]

 Still unbelievable. My Ds always tell me about when they are at Bowser's apt the ashtrays are disgusting on the coffee table. She leaves it there.    My house is so nice.  Can't believe the downward spiral they sign up for. Can't believe the things they say or do.      I mean now I CAN believe it I am seeing this with my own eyes.
 Interesting what you referred to about  "He treats her like she treats him"   and it's not so great is it?

[Synicca]

nope, It has been toxic from the beginning...but because like he said this morning..He knows that he had said some terrible things
to her..but that it doesnt excuse her behaviour.

They have never really got along...and someone "sane" would wonder what the "hold" is they have on eachother. If Honey had not been going through MLC, I believe 100% that he wouldnt have given her a second look, let alone a first.

[Mamma Bear]

 I firmly believe that too! When we first moved to this town we now own a house in, we looked for an apt. Some of them were run down wrecks like where he is now. I remember telling him that the dumps would be OK temporarily until we found a house. He said "No way!. You're a pharmacist. You make excellent $$. We will not live like this."     OK? So but with Bowser and in crisis it's Mara Lago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got it. Have fun over there MR. 180.  It's ok really it is.    LOL!

[kikki]

  Remind me of my unconditionals quick I'm gonna call her something besides Bowser.............That confused woman who is sleeping with my H and pretending they are meant to be together forever!!!!!!!!!

For the first 15months post BD, I used to call the OW sk*nk Ho!  I even said it to my H a few times.  It was a surefire was to invite a visit from Monster.
I zipped my lips for a few months and didn't mention her again, until a week ago.
I called her the '40yr old dysfunctional, childless spinster FLOOSIE!'  (unfortunately she is reasonably attractive on the outside - reasonably, in a plastic bleached kind of way), and I was astounded when he said yes, she is.  He then called her 'Floosie' a couple of times (in a sincere tone) during the rest of the conversation.

It sounded kind of old fashioned and funny at the same time, coming out of his mouth.  So - Floosie it is.  (it reminds me of something my Grandma might have said!) 

And Syn ' your H said that they have treated each other the same'.  That is really interesting.  What a weird mixed up mess this is.  It must be their Anterior Cingulate Gyrus functioning badly!!   

[Synicca]

Kikki,


I believe that OW got most if not ALL of Honey's monster...Which was supposed to be that way...As I believe everything happens for a reason, it was meant for them to fight this out...I didnt show anger towards him....We hadnt had any fights with eachother
for about 4 years before BD...so he didnt have any reason to take this out on me, but because OW is a BPD person...it was the "perfect storm" for him to work his FOO issues out.

Hope that made sense??  LOL

[kikki]

That is really interesting Syn.
I know from checking my H's cellphone once, that back in May of this year, he was apologising to her for being so grumpy and bad tempered all of the time.  Sounds like she got her fair share of his monster too.
So glad to hear things are moving forwards for you Syn.

[With Gods Help!]

Oooops sorry RCR only just seen your comments wanted to bump this thread up for synnica xxxxxxxxxx

[Synicca]

LOL Thanks!! I knew it was in here somewhere!!!

((hugs))

[Trustandlove]

Hi, all,

This came in my inbox this morning; I thought it was a well-written article.  Not all of us are parents, but this speaks to me in many ways.  One of the things that I've been learning through this process is how to be more open and honest, which has helped in all sorts of relationships, with friends and other family members and even work colleagues, as well as of course my children. 

http://www.theparentpractice.com/news/2012/11/modelling-is-80-of-parenting-part-ii/

I've been very open with my children about what is and isn't good behaviour; we've even talked about what makes and doesn't make a good role model.  And as such it applies indirectly to MLC, in that they learn to distinguish good behaviour from bad, and also that bad behaviour doesn't necessarily mean that the person is bad as such.