[Synicca]

I wanted us all to look at the brighter side of things...

I am a firm believer that negative thinking brings on negative events in one's life...so here you can talk about
what is better in your life NOW, then last year this time.

The only thing that can be discussed in a negative way, is the PAST...Everything MUST be in a positive light discussing
NOW....NO wallowing in the past here. State what was unhappy then, but move onto NOW in a positive way.

SO I will go first...Last year, Honey was here for Christmas, OW had just been sent home to NY for the first time earlier that morning, Honey, myself and our Daughter spent a quiet morning opening gifts, Honey was upset that OW left ( even though he sent her home) He was stuck on his phone, until he ended up with a migraine. and I ended up in the ER with an allergic reaction to Cipro..My daughter ended up staying with my mom most of that day. It was OK. but could have been WAY better.

NOW, Honey is home, Christmas Tree is up and beautifully put together by our D, Christmas lights hang outside for the first time in over 5 years. There is a wonderful glow of joy around us now. Our home is decorated in the Christmas spirit and all 3 of us will be spending  Christmas Eve with my IL's and then Christmas day with My family. Early that morning we will be opening gifts with our sweet daughter. Waking up to a small united family.

I am blessed this year, because I have God in my heart, family in my soul and Love in my spirit. I could not ask for anything more. I am grateful for ALL that I have this year. It could ALWAYS be worse.

(hugs to you all) Be blessed and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

[Shantilly Lace]

Ok let's see.
from last Christmas Dearheart is way more connected t the girls and the house.  He is looking after his birds again.
And also seems to care about our business.
He moved back to the house and realy doesn't want to go again despite me trying to suggest otherwise.
Although ow is around he does not attend all her functions and parties like he used to.
I no longer fear losing my house, hve a better suited job, am training in things I enjoy and am writing and creating again.
a book goes off to the editor in te New Year.
My girls are striving to do well in school.
I am more in control of my emotions and how to del with things.
I m looking after myself better.
I have learned to forgive mself for the mistaes I have made in the past and am ble to forgive myself better for mistakes I still do make

Life is full of hope and wonder even if it isn't how I thought it would be

[BonBon]

Oh, nice!

Ok, things are hard but way better with H.  At least I'm not in a state of knotted stomach all the time.

My faith in God is SO much stronger than it ever was.  And that feels SO good.

Doggy is on a diet and its working.  That is good!

I turned 50 this summer and my head didn't explode.

I fulfilled a life long dream and went to Scotland this year.  (Do these things count?)

I've met all these awesome people on this little Internet site who give me guidance and hope and care...wow!

Great idea!!!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukah...and happy everything.  Here's to a better year even next!

Bon

[honour]

I love my children and my children love me.

I'm healthy.

This year I don't have any where near the levels of emotional pain as last.

It is not snowing, this time last year the UK more or less ground to halt because of snow.

Friends have been wonderful.

I've managed to keep the house so myself and the children still have our home. Daughter will be home for Christmas.

I've learnt a great deal.

honour

[missybuddha]

ok 1 year ago

I was asleep , about the reality of my m , myself, the interaction beteen h and I. It was  superficially all ok but underneath was the ticking bomb....... I was a disney princess living in an unreal world.

And over the last  year I have  been woken up

financially:- to suddenly become the only breadwinner and pay for everything, I'm so proud of that. It's tough but it's ok too.I work part time but still manage. more than manage it's ok. good things come my way.
spiritually:- I've had to use my problems to deepen my faith and understanding of the buddhism I practice.
I've been awakened to who I am . I have read and begun really deep work. I have had  IC sessions that have helped me know myself more.
My children are even more amazing than ever I knew.
I am surrounded by friends and family who love me and support me.
I have been in a 4 week run in the edinburgh festival as a professional actress.
I have just got a  job in one of the best musical establishments in europe  teaching a subject I find fascinating.
I have stood up to a man I have let run roughshod over me for years.
I have faced my fears of abandonment, I have been rejected by he whom I thought would be by my side for ever. and lived.
I have lost weight and look fantastic (apparently)
I know I'm strong, I know I'm afraid but keep going anyway. I know that I can face anything, I know that my friends tell me the truth. I let go, let go again and realised I was still attached so now really let go and the more I detach the more successful my life becomes.
I'm happy with my own company.
that's just for starters........

[Synicca]

This is great guys!!

If you can write anything that is a positive change...then maybe you can really see the power you truly have.

Reach down in there...and post it, no matter how little you think it may be...

Look at how truly POWERFUL you really are!

Keep it up!!  Love and light...Syn

[JD]

You know what?
I'm going to journal on this and also get my kids to do it as an exercise.
They've really been having a hard time this year.  Sometimes you have to count the blessings to get out of the pit.

[LoveMeMyself]

This is a wonderful topic but I still here struggling with what to say.

It's been two years ago first of this month when I arrived home to find hubby's closet completely empty with a note left on my pillow.  I don't even want to think of how horrific that day was for me.  This time last year is a blur for me.  I tried my best to enjoy Christmas but it was still very hard.

Now, for this year......I have my tree up/decorated and the fireplace/mantel decorated as well.  I also have icicle lights hanging outside.  I did all of this myself.  Recently, I had a conversation with my exH and he stated that he thought about how cold/miserable it was every year when we decided to decorate outside.  He said it made him sad and upset.  He's beginning to realize all that he's lost.  So, should I be sad, sympathetic, and/or glad he admitted how he feels?  I came home from work that day and cried but it was a joyful, happy cry.  I was thanking God for the fact that my exH was remembering and expressing his remorse.  I am grateful....makes me believe he is slowly working through all this........hopeful.

I am grateful for EVERYTHING in my life.  First and foremost, my faith is stronger than ever and it continues to grow and mature with each passing day.  I have two wonderful adult children.....they will always have my heart.  Both my parents are still living and seem to be doing well, considering their ages.  I'm grateful and Blessed to have a good job, my health and financially stable.  I'm finding that I truly notice the smallest things in life that gives me great pleasure.  I enjoy my kitties and dog........they are entertaining and such a joy.  They keep me company.  I have a great group of friends both here and in real life.  I know without a doubt I am fine.........with or without exH.  Life is what we make of it......regardless.......we are in control of our own life.  I believe being here on this site proves that we are all wonderful, warm hearted people...........reaching out to each other for strength, support and compassion.  The world is not all bad.  We all can make a difference.

God Bless you all!  Hope everyone has a wonderful, Blessed Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

[NoRegrets]

What a great topic! I SO love this forum!!

Well...

As opposed to last year, THIS year, I am aware of H's infidelity. Being aware, I am more enlightened, and my choices are thus made in my own self interests and with clarity! CLARITY is precious.

I've made many new friends, and I have a new appreciation for the single moms and dads out there. I am one of us now.

I've lost a lot of weight, and I like it that way.

I was a strong woman, and I'm now even stronger and more free. I get to make my own choices. I'm more capable and I'm smarter. I'm wiser. (Anyone else like the Christina Aguilera song, "Fighter"? I've almost gone deaf and hoarse singing to that song on my commute!)

Tension is gone from my home. So is a lot of clutter--physical and spiritual. I'm more in control of my own finances--I'm paying attention to the insurance and the mortgage when I didn't really know much about those before. I have my OWN bank accounts.  I am finally out from under a very expensive, money-losing, opposite-of-investment house.  I'm looking forward to finally getting a not-humiliating kitchen in my home--got a business card from Ikea today, in fact!

This Christmas, I don't have to worry about H being sulky and rude, like a gray-haired adolescent, to my kind father.

This Christmas, two of my children's friends from Australia are visiting (returning "home" to Nor-Cal for a bitl!) 

This year, I have this forum and I have "e-met" many of you. You're all teaching me by example (some of it painful and some of it triumphant, but all of it graciously shared) and with the wisdom of experience. I'm therefore more compassionate, and I'm more assertive (this was a goal of mine anyway), and my listening and hearing is more sensitive to what is actually being said--still practicing, but I'll get it!

As OldPilot pointed out to me, I've been given a gift--the gift of time. I've been shaken up, and I'm rebuilding for mySELF.

It's a good Christmas!

[LettingGo]

Last Year, my husband came to open presents with the kids two days before Christmas... he didn't bother to tell me he wouldn't be here with them Christmas morning... I was stunned! Even though he was living with OW at that time, I never imagined he would be with her and her kid on CHRISTMAS!! It didn't make sense!! He was already miserable with her, but I was struggling with anger and resentment....resigned that he would be tangled up with her for at LEAST the year until their lease ran out... and he felt trapped, but compelled to "try and make it work with her"...

THIS Christmas.... I believe he'll be home. He says he will be here...He has MOVED HOME... but still spends some weekends with OW..... their R is all but over... but he is unwilling to end it forever yet, and so is she..... they both hang on to the drama and stress.

I have grown in character and wisdom practically by the WEEK!! Found my spiritual center, and it gets stronger every day..... I'm more LOVING and open.... I'm prayerful and GRATEFUL for all of the blessings in my life!! I trust my intuition...

We are currently buying a new home that will need to be renovated... just waiting for our closing date....

Last year, he could not sit down in our home..... would rarely take his cap or jacket off... was always antsy... very secretive.... this year..... he tells me how appreciative he is that he can tell me the truth.... that he can be himself with me, even if it might hurt me.... he tells me to "hang in there... I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...  maybe you can't see it... but I can.... don't give up!!"

The ONLY complaint I have is that our kids are growing up so fast... these past two years can never be "done over".... we both have missed so much.... but our family is coming back together... maybe not perfectly put together... but together we are!!

Thanks for this thread, Syn!!