[TrustingMyHP]

Since today's New Year's Eve, and tomorrow New Year's Day, for many of us I thought it would be fun to hear how you're spending it.

I'm going to be verrry quiet.  Tomorrow is also my birthday (39 as always!)

Tonight I'm going to dinner at the home of very good friends (a couple).  These were/are H & my best couple friends.  After dinner we're watching a film.  It will just be the three of us. 

Tomorrow I have no plans.  A dear friend's husband just had knee replacement surgery and I'm standing by to help her if needed.  Lots of paperwork to do so I'll probably just catch up.

My D is leaving early tomorrow for a week cruise in the Caribbean with her cousin.  A vacation for her before she begins her second semester of grad school.

I'm looking forward to the new year.  Really looking forward to it.  Next week is the one year anniversary of BD and my H moving out and in with OW.  That's where he still is.  Maybe this year will bring some forward movement.

I'm hoping that for each of you!

And thank you, thank you, thank you--each of you--for being here and being part of this amazing, supportive, loving, inspiring community.

TMHP

[Mermaid]

I'll be quieter... I will have to wait up for my Ds, who will be going out with friends. I won't let them drive anywhere, there are always awful accidents at this time of year.

I hope H and I will have a quiet evening together, watching films and talking. I like parties, or small groups, but not always, and not today.

I hope you enjoy your evening with friends, TMHP. I also hope that the coming year will bring some forward movement in your sitch.

Love to you, and strength with your journey.

Mermaid

[Synicca]

My D will be going to a church function and there is plans of going to a friends party or my sisters party.


but, more then likely (for me) it will be a quiet night home waiting for my D to get home safe.

Nothing planned for tomorrow...maybe figuring out how to get our water pump fixed on the house! LOL!!

I Hope everyone has a wonderful, joyfilled SAFE New Year's! and may the New year bring MANY blessings to all
LBS's and MLCers this coming year! Lets make 2012 the best ever!

((hugs)) to you all
Syn

[Gutted]

Today (NYE) is my Anniversary.   My husband is spending it with OW.   

There is an option of a D group get together but I think I'll have a meltdown so I shouldn't go.  Or maybe go for a couple drinks and leave very early.   I think I should just stay home and have my meltdown day/night, take a Tylenol PM, and go to sleep early and get it behind me.

Really tempted to fire off an email to him though.  Already having a very bad day.

[StillStanding]

My New Year's resolutions for 2012 are:
* To spend as much time as possible obsessing over what my wife may or may not be doing and with whom she is doing it
* To pray that God fixes my wife RIGHT NOW so things can go back to the way they were, and get angry when He doesn't
* To let myself fall apart at every unkind word or deed from my wife, and never understand the concept of detachment
* To blame my wife and her MLC for all of the pain and anger and sorrow that I feel, and for ripping my life apart
* To avoid reading all of the books, articles, and websites out there that support people who are facing divorce or dealing with depression
* To ask for advice from people I trust then misinterpret what they say or outright ignore them, and get upset when things don't get better

If you ask me, that's a recipe for success! 

[Voyager]

Gutted,

Big hugs to you, I'm so sorry today is such a bad one for you. This is my third NYE without my h and ours were always special, the last 2 I did as you did, hid under the covers.
Tonight I will be with a lovely friend, we will eat and drink and tomorrow we will walk together. Which reminds me of something that happened to me on my first NYD after BD Jan 1st 2010. I have told the story on an old thread but seeing as it is NYE I will tell it again.

I will write it here and I hope it gives some hope even if it is also sad.
On that first NYD I went for a long walk in the snow, I came to a place where there was a stone that overlooked the beautiful hills and dales of Yorkshire.
I sat and cried and cried. I didn't notice a walker coming up until he was right on top of me. He said morning was going to pass by but then saw my face and stopped.
He asked if I was ok and out my story came, he sat next to me and listened and then he told me his story.

He had been happily married to his wife for many years, then he got made redundant from his job. He go another one but the change triggered something he said and before long he was having an affair with a work colleague, sound familiar?

He left his wife, lived with OW and then he realised how deeply unhappy he was with himself with his new life and he wanted to go home. But his wife shut the door.
I told him I wanted to hold on and wait for my H even though I didn't know about standing then I already knew that I wanted to do that.

He said he wished his wife could have done the same and he asked me to hold on even if things got tough. He said he was reconciled to his life alone now, but he will always regret both what he did and that he came to understand too late to save his marriage.

He got up said goodbye and left.

There is always hope, it doesn't mean you can or should act on it, but it can sit quietly in your heart whilst you go about living your life. You may choose one day to close the door and you may not. But all is not as it seems for your H and one day he may realise that too.

Peace and blessings to all of us for the new year
Much love. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[WarriorPriestess]

Thank you so much for sharing that story Voyager. 

[TrustingMyHP]

Oh G, I'm so sorry.  Anniversaries are really, really tough.  And to have it this season of the year when there's so many other triggers going on increases the pain.

I know what you mean about "getting it behind" you.  I'm looking forward to next week!

I also understand your temptation to send your H an email.  Even though it's been a year since BD, and H's moving out and beginning to live with OW, I still find it hard to believe we're separated.  I want to call him up and tell him to get his a** down here (he's living 30 miles north of where I live) and give him a piece of my mind.  I have conversations with him in my head in which I tell him exactly what I think of his behavior and describe in detail the havoc he's created in my and his D's lives.   

But it has to remain "in my head."   The longer this goes on the more I can truly understand what everyone's been telling me since my first day here:  Detachment is the key.  I'm (slowly) getting there.

Here's to 2012 and to being further down the road in the LBS/MLC journey!

TMHP

[TrustingMyHP]

Voyager,

That's a wonderfully inspiring story.  Wow! Your HP was doing some serious work with you that day.

Thanks for posting it.  You made my day.

TMHP

[Dandy Lion]

This will be my second NYE without my H.  Last year he was still living at home but vanished all of New Years Eve and came home at about 5am so I consider I was alone last year because of that!  New years day, he ate his food and went out again until early hours.

So this year, I am going out with my H's friends (all males) and I will be the only female in the group    so that should boost my morale a bit  and I intend to stay out till very late, and enjoy myself.

So Cheers everyone..........here's looking at you 2012!