[StillStanding]

This makes a lot of sense, really; successful advertising and marketing seeks to create an emotional response in the viewer. Consider the Faces of Meth campaign, which uses before-and-after pictures of meth users to shock people; the hope is that people who are offered meth would remember those pictures and think "If I do this, I could end up looking like that!"

The Elephant/Rider metaphor has applications when explaining why our MLCers do what they do. Their Elephants are completely out of control right now and stampeding from one extreme to the other; the Rider can only hold it together before for so long before it wears out.

The chapter I'm on actually discusses "analysis paralysis"; when I get a chance I'll summarize some more.

[JD]

The authors create a new metaphor for this duality this duality; the emotional side is the Elephant, and the rational side is the Rider

I don't believe these authors were the ones creating this metaphor.

 I read about this about 2.5 years ago in a book called:  "The Happiness Hypothesis", by Johathan Haidt.  In fact, a photo of an Elephant and a rider , swimming in water, are on the front cover of the paperback I own of that book.

http://www.happinesshypothesis.com/

(Edit, I reread that book often to remind me of certain principles to keep happiness in my own life. It's a keeper, IMHO.)

[StillStanding]

I read about this about 2.5 years ago in a book called:  "The Happiness Hypothesis", by Johathan Haidt.  In fact, a photo of an Elephant and a rider , swimming in water, are on the front cover of the paperback I own of that book.

Not only are you correct, but the authors cite that book as the source for the metaphor; I overlooked that part in my summary.

[toughtimes]

Hapinesshypothesis.com looks fascinAting thanks for the link x

[StillStanding]

I've finished the book, and I'll post some more thoughts later.

On the authors' website they have a nice one-page summary of the Switch framework as a PDF:

http://www.heathbrothers.com/resources/download/switch-framework.pdf

[Stillpraying]

Listening to this now:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/focus-on-the-family/player/finding-the-path-to-true-happiness-349937.html

[Sunny]

Like many here, I have a whole shelf full of books about marriage, codepdendent, personal development, depression, mid life crisis etc.

I couldn't find an active book thread so thought I'd start one. If there's one going, do let me know.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=100.0

I am currently reading "I don't want to talk about it" by Terence Real. I think this book is out of print, which is a real shame. I had ordered mine through a marketplace seller on amazon, ie used. Having said that, I find it shocking it's out of print, because I've not read elsewhere the kinds of stuff he has done his research on. Which is mainly men's depression. I haven't read too far yet,page 54. He writes how men's depression is usually covert, and is very different from normal depression where one is usually sad, doesn't want to see people, has trouble sleeping/eating. If you've read the articles on HS, you will already know about covert and overt depression. Real goes into the why of covert depression, and typical male problems of intimacy, hiding pain, inability to express themselves etc and how heavily influenced and affected men are by the male parent/grandparent, and how they handled these sensitive issues affects how the son handles his. This way old negative patterns get handed down.

I'm feeling I have a lot more understanding of what my husband has gone through and how he has been affected by all the negative influences in his childhood- ie absent father who abandoned the family when he was 7, alchoholic mother, mother's alchoholic and abusive boyfriends, etc.

I hope you will contribute about any books you want, and we can share the books we have read and suggest recommendations.

Edit - Added link to first book thread. - Oldpilot

[R]

Hi Sunny

I too am reading this one - it is fascinating stuff and I agree, strange it is out of print - I found mine on Ebay!  Some of it really made me cry because I could feel through his writing that I am there with some of his case studies.  I only dip in and out though as I can't read too much of it at once.

xxx

[OldPilot]

I am currently reading "I don't want to talk about it" by Terence Real.

I have read this book too as it is the top book that RCR suggests to read.

I think she mentions it on the previous book thread linked above.

I was able to get it from the library and would suggest that everyone first check there before trying to go out and buy books.

The library is a great GAL activity, and it is also the right price for us LBS!

I just found out yesterday that I can access Ancestry.com at my local library.
So my next project will be doing some more research there about my family.
My son has been working on genealogy and I may have caught the bug. 

[Sunny]

hi Clarebear and OP.

Yes the library is a GREAT idea! I haven't been for awhile, but will once I'm moved and settled in. My new town has a big brand new library and I can't wait to get in there to check it out!

Ironically, the last time I was at the library, I had to return two unread books on depression which were two and a bit months overdue! They were lovely about it thankfully.

And regarding "I don't want to talk about it", the library is a great option as this book is difficult to find anyway!! and a great GAL activity, also great for kids. I loved going to the library when I was a kid!

Clare, I know what you mean, I see my H on every page, and also due to the amount of research and information there, I also take it slowly, read a few pages each night. It is very dense, and because the material reflects so much of my H, also very emotional for me. But I am learning so so much!!

Another great book is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. Very powerful, one which I take only very small bites from, time to time. I do find it hard to read this one straight through. There is also a Facebook community.

And one other current fave, a book not about depression or MLC, is The Tao of Pooh. I also have the Te of Piglet. It doesn't matter if you're not into Chinese wisdom, there are so many wonderful wise bits in this, using Winnie the Pooh to explain. Just wonderful. My go-to book for sad days, down days, any day when I need a boost. I often read a page at night of this, just to maintain my equilibrium.

Looking forward to hearing about other people's favourite books, marriage/MLC or something completely  different!