[Thundarr]

First guy to chime in here (unless someone posts at the same time).  I really, really miss the sex but right now I could not bring myself to be with another woman.  The fantasy is exciting and if I were drinking and someone came onto me it might be on, but as far as actively pursuing another woman for sex let's just say it ain't happening.  Whether it's my shrivelled self-esteem or love for my W I don't know, but I just don't have it in me at the present time.

I'm really surprised to see how many women there are who seem to need it just as bad.  Maybe when or if I do end up in the dating scene it will be much more exciting than high school was.....

[JD]

I think the closest thing that describes how I feel about sex and the whole situation we've been dealing with is out there on celluloid in " Something's Got to Give" , when the character that  Diane Keaton plays begins to cry after having sex with the character played by Jack Nicholson, and she says something like, I thought I had closed up shop.  In other words, that part of her life was over. 
In many ways, I feel like that too. 

[Thundarr]

I have a link to my email on my profile page if anyone ever had a reason to use it.  I also accept PM's.  Just sayin'.

[rediscover]

Thundarr, you are funny!!!

[Returned]

I am standing, although I can see how this could get difficult. I am deeply bonded to my H and can't imagine even being able to fantasize about another man. Honestly its been about twenty years since I looked at someone else and even found them attractive. However who knows how I would react in a real situation with the right person? I think I would be terrified that my H would find out, and this might further motivate him to distance himself. The double standard is alive and well among men. They can sleep with twenty women and be away for years, and then get upset if their wife loses it one time.

[good4me]

 Thundar
REALLY?  I hope that you are trying to be funny but for some reason I am afraid that isn't the case. I would hope that your experience as a counselor would caution you as to the ill effects such words could bring.  If I am misintrepreting your comments please forgive me.
I would like to thank in advance the gentlemen here who wouldn't be so bold as to "offer " services to the lonely hurt women here.

[Thundarr]

G4M,

As I said on my thread last night, that's about as close to humor as I can muster at this time.  I'll bet most of the males who read this thread thought about it though.  Maybe we should have a Members Only adult section, kind of like Penthouse Letters.  We get close to it sometimes anyway. 

[In this for ME]

Well as an LBS that's reconnecting/reconciling or whatever the he!! anybody calls this dance we're doing I can tell you this;

I haven't had actual intercourse for going on four years.

During us being physically separated ( and divorced this past year) I desparaetly wanted to feel a mans touch as I felt like a total FREAK ( some of you might remember my struggle) I did have a dinner date with someone that I found attractive and left it up to him to decide how the evening ended.
He was an honorable man and I went home alone.
It would have been just sex to me; some reassurance that I was still a desireable woman. He made the comment he was in a relationship but it was just sex.......so I guess he wanted our relationship to be more than that; but I didn't.

Anyway the other day after some of the air was cleared about the exskank I told ExH about having dinner with this man as I said I wanted no secrets between us. I also told him I was fully prepared to spend the night with this guy and that it was this guys decision that nothing happened. ExH demanded to know why  I said maybe the guy wasn't sexually attracted to me. ExH snorted "yeah RIGHT!!"
(Geez how the hell do I know why the guy passed me over??)

Then he got really mad and said "You went out to DINNER with this guy???!!!" I said "Yeah- you happened to be effing exskank at the time!!!!!"

Here we are divorced - living in separate houses- he's doing god knows what with somebody else IN OUR BED IN OUR HOUSE and givng me a rash of sh!t for going out to dinner with somebody??? You've GOT to be kidding me.

I can tell you now I'm sort of glad nothing happened as I would have had to have told him. THEN we'd have that pile of wreckage to sort through also.

But I would really like to have sex sometime in the foreseeable future....
...

[Mamma Bear]

    I hear ya In This,  But with MLC 'the foreseeable future' means when Justin Bieber is president....Oh he's Canadian. LOL!
    For the record, the anonymous record, I've only had eyes for 1 man since I met him    I even ran and hid under the blankets when Hs friend texted me "XO"

[Mac49]

First with respect Thundarr, In the weakened and confused state you find yourself, please do not get involved with anyone until you stabilize the sitch's at home, work, and with MLC wife. You would only be using and feeling used.

I find the commentary from the LBS ladies quite interesting particularly your willingness to still be intimate with your MLC'r.

My "X" had very little ok no interest in sex with me as she immersed herself in the fog while blaming me for all ills on the planet.

The little I know of her actions following the onset of her crisis I heard described as fluff girl at frat party.

Sex and Standing - Sex is easy, intimacy is hard - The little dating I've done had great sex with no intimacy - It almost felt like a physical extension of porn.  I cannot use people like that.

I will never rationalize that it was "just sex", Thats kind of like saying "We are only friends".

Peace on your journeys

Mac