Goodness, Thundarr, what did you expect me to do; agree with you?? NOT gonna happen when I see something I know is wrong to do.
Wow, HB, I didn't need that. One of the things that changed with W leading up to BD was that she started viewing porn in her phone and trying new things in the bedroom. Really exciting new things. I thought it may have been her getting comfortable with her body and just being more adventurous. I never looked at it as the reason she left me. Maybe it is what ended my marriage, as she did tell me she wasn't attracted to me anymore and that I hadn't aged well. Perhaps she does equate a loss of physical attraction as "not giving a $hit about someone."
Maybe there is no crisis in my sitch, except for the one I'm in now.
OH, Dude, BOTH of you are in a individual crisis' of your own, Thundarr; and it started for you when she dropped the bomb; this started for HER long before you knew what was happening; believe that if you don't believe anything else.
OP's Ghost Post:EDIT- Thundarr stop the PITY part, I will get out my violin.
You are cycling here. And I thought you were doing well, pick your self up and get with the program.
I must confess, I laughed until I lost my breath at the idea of OP getting out his violin to play "My Heart Bleeds for You" or even getting out his TINY record player that plays "Cycle Round and Round, but You Need to Face the TRUTH" (These are not real songs; but you get my meaning.)
He's right about the pity party, Thundarr; you're whining because I've spoiled your fun; get over it; and start growing up.
Anytime someone hits a sore spot within you and you KNOW what you're defending is wrong; you need to look closely at what it is within you that reacts in this way.
It's like a ghost on my post (but I know why). But, really, I took HB to say that immoral behavior from both my W and I is what brought us down rather than her being mentally immature and "broken.". It seems that just when I start to not personalize this someone points a finger, and I highly respect HB and many others here. Just a kick in the balls I didn't need this morning is all.
Actually, I DID say that; but you're now trying to say, you're the one who's "grown" all the way up; while SHE is still a child; when you've still not scratched deeply enough within your journey and the issues within you just yet.
Trying to head me off at the pass won't work.
What, you think you're the grown up here? NOT HARDLY or exactly. BOTH you AND your wife ARE at this time, "broken" and emotionally immature.
I was in this place, too, and just like my husband, at one time; BOTH of us were broken and emotionally immature in our own individual aspects; and we BOTH had to grow up within this process; I've spoken of it, before.
If you hadn't been defending pornography; I would not have said anything to you or anyone else; I will say something if I catch someone defending what I KNOW is wrong. Owing to the fact we are all adults here, for me, there are subjects that I'm not always comfortable with that are discussed on here; but I can't do anything about that; except to choose NOT to enter a thread that is uncomfortable for me.
Yet, for what it's worth, I clicked on this one last night, when I was going to skip it, because I was "told" to. I assumed, (and rightly, based on the various posts that are sticking to the subject at hand), that people were discussing lack of sexual attraction within the MLC spouse.
This is one of the aspects of MLC that is faced by most people...and I'd posted many things on that, and wasn't really planning to post anything at first, but He had me looking for something I had NO idea I was supposed to find...if that makes sense to anyone but me.
Then YOUR post caught my eye, as I was skimming along; and I got clear instructions to write what I did, and to be BLUNT; but if you feel I kicked you where it hurts, maybe you need to check out WHY it hurts that much....something in you reacted to what was written.
Thundarr, God doesn't "toy" or even "play" with you; He uses me and many others here to hold you accountable within various serious aspects of this; and this is not the first time you've posted something He has instructed me to answer directly.
And, I guess it won't be the last; through not just me, but others, too, He keeps teaching you various aspects, and is trying to open your eyes to what is within YOURSELF that justifies various WRONG aspects that need to be left alone, or worked out, or your view points need changing.
It can be part of one's growth to rework various moral aspects that aren't in line with the Word of God; this is also a part of building a relationship with Him. Sin and the Lord cannot coexist; and though He uses me to help you; He would come down SO hard on me, if I didn't address posts that clearly show justification for wrong behavior; and when you post such as this, it's not a good influence on people who are trying to learn a right way go about their lives in a better moral fashion/aspect.
I have a friend, for example, that I stay on and after continuously because she will forget herself and send me stuff that is offensive to me. I hold her accountable for her actions in that aspect; and I should, it's one of my jobs to do such as this.
But, by the same token, I'm not perfect, either, and if I say or do something that's wrong, I'm held accountable, too, whether it's the Lord getting after me right then, or someone else that's sent to me to help me see what I need to see so I can do better in the future.
It's honestly NOT one set of rules for some people and other sets for other people; I don't make any exceptions; I can't afford to. I have gotten after people here before for posting what they know is wrong; and it sometimes will, and often does put them on the defensive.
I don't make judgement calls, like you might THINK I do; I simply point out what I see; then what YOU do with what I point out is up to YOU.
I learn something every day of my life; and I do the best I can to not just write out the principles, but to live them, as well.
Take it in the spirit it's offered in; or don't take it at all. That's up to you, and anyone else who's reading this post.
Take care of yourself, my friend.
HB
did your W/H say they were no longer sexually attracted to you?
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