[WarriorPriestess]

One of my fears lately has been that H's MLC will trigger one of my own, or that it may have already.  I have experienced feelings and thoughts that could possibly be construed as MLC issues.  One was a very strong desire to RUN.  Another was to reconnect with people and things from my past- listening to music from back then, looking up old boyfriends on Facebook, etc.  I have been processing A LOT of old stuff from my youth.  I would like to deal with this responsibly and am working through it as best I can, but frankly, the thought of losing control and falling into a full blown MLC terrifies me.  Anyone else have similar experiences?  Thoughts?

[Synicca]

WP

I also have the same worries...since I went through PPD when I was 27 and I ran like the wind...I also worry that I may have unresolved issues. I have been thinking about my childhood some more in depth today. How Ironic that you put this up today as I am thinking maybe I should revisit some issues I know I still have..

I know I have some issues with my mom and dad that I cant really put my finger on yet. I have so little memory of my dad in the picture that I worry I may have blocked alot of heartache out. Just this morning I was wondering if I should seek out a hypnosis therapist to look into it further AND not only that.....I also have had this deep underlying issue that I don't speak of to anyone....Its the feeling that I may have been molested...but I don't know if I truly was or not...does that make sense?
I mean...wouldn't I KNOW if I was??? Its been something on my mind for years...but never looked into it further..

I worry I may run as well....because I did it before! Argh! Maybe we can all help eachother out that "think" about it.

((hugs))

[Poppy]

 .Hi WP

Yep! Me!

I have had the exact same thoughts, it scares me to death!
All the things you have listed, I have done them too, even looking up old boyfriends on Facebook!

I loath FB by the way! One day I found myself searching for a couple of old flames, I found them, yuk, yuk and yuk!

Surely that's the difference?? We have looked but not got sucked into some red!ck fantasy!!
We are able to see it for what it is, just reminiscing!

I sure as hell do not want to get mixed up with anyone from my past, they are in the past and that's where they are stopping!


The only thing that truly terrified me was reading about the "depression", I never want to go there, that's for sure!


Hugs xx

[Tryingforhope]

I've thought about this, too.  And something I worry about. Sometimes I feel like the voice of my mother is coming out of me when I talk - the stress, the worries, the anxieties.  My mom has a habit of sighing very loudly when she's not happy about something, rather than vocalizing her problems.  I've been doing that, but I try to be aware of that and verbalize my worries.  My counselor's helped me with some of that.  I worry that if I keep the stress and anxiety inside I'll have some sort of breakdown.

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

Yes yes yes I have had these thoughts.  I have no idea how to keep from thinking about having my own MLC.  It is very tempting to just give in and see if I can't find some of that phoney-baloney "fun" my H seems to be having so much of these days.  I think Why care that it's not real, if it helps to block the pain for at least a little while?  I know there are a few things from my childhood that are going to need addressing, eventually.  Will I have strength enough to make the transition when it comes, or will I go into a full blown crisis?
And should I even try to prevent or stop a crisis?  I imagine myself as a stronger person, way back when I didn't have to worry about detaching from my H because my H was not even in the picture yet.  But was I stronger?  No.  I just like to pretend I was or would be were I to have a second chance at those days gone by.  If anyone's got some advice on getting past the thoughts like these, I sure would like to know, before I get crazy myself!

[MLCwife]

And should I even try to prevent or stop a crisis?

Advice is not different for US.
FACE it head on, there is no avoiding it.
Read what HeartBlessing says about cycling backwards.
If you avoid it then when you cycle backwards and it will be even worse the next time around.

Do not run away, maybe that way you can keep it as a transition rather than a crisis.

[LeaveThePastBehind]

Yes! Me too. I know for sure I am going through it too. Maybe not at crisis status but it is happening. It's part of the reason why I have some empathy towards H. I understand the urge to run and feel selfish with my time and thoughts, even more than ever.


To cope... one thing I try to do is surround myself with as much nature as I can. Even with all of my shampoos, lotions etc. I care about our planet, very much, but the main reason is I want to feel connected to life because I am surrounded by concrete and it doesn't feel very natural to me.


I say... be selfish! Take as much time as you need to get to the bottom of those feelings for you and don't feel ashamed by it. Keep digging


Good post!

[BonBon]

WP,
MLC is about NOT facing issues.  IMHO, that's all you need to know to prevent your own MLC.
I've had those "running" thoughts but not the reconnection thoughts.  I have no desire to go backwards...my intention was to go forward and in a different direction.

You may be transitioning but you know that isn't the same as MLC.  My advice is to first face your fears, your problems, your past issues and take the time to do that as StarGazerGirl said.  That isn't selfish...provided you don't lay waste to everyone around you as an MLCer would, or, romanticize your youth or young woman days...

My other advice is if you have these feelings, find something new...a hobby, travel, whatever.
Maybe donate time to help others that are less fortunate for a perspective check...

Bon

[LeaveThePastBehind]

WP,
MLC is about NOT facing issues.  IMHO, that's all you need to know to prevent your own MLC.

I agree. There is a big difference between facing those buried, difficult issues and running from them.

[wondering]

I have felt this way too. I wanted to run away. I feel like I was tested recently when I found out my first love got  divorced.  Boy did I want to call him. I was daydreaming of running into him. But, ya know, I think I have too much empathy for others to self destruct and hurt the people around me, even can't hurt my H that way. I saw his face when he heard my xboyfriend was getting divorced..it was a look of worry. I also think that this makes us examine every aspect of our lives and don't we all ask through this crisis Is this all there is? Is this what my life is going to be like?  I think it's normal to feel on the edge of our own crisis...afterall we too are in crisis. But I also feel with knowledge comes power..power to see that these feelings are not permanant. By educating ourselves about MLC I think it will help guide us through our transitions when the time comes.