[After the speech/bomb drop, did your MLC'er continue to be affectionate?]

After the speech/bomb drop, did your MLC'er continue to be affectionate?

No

10 (32.3%)

Rarely

5 (16.1%)

Occasionally

5 (16.1%)

Regularly

7 (22.6%)

Every time we are in contact

4 (12.9%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Voting closed: July 19, 2010, 04:14:29 PM

[Still]

My MLC'er witheld all affection pretty much the day of the speech. Many of you seem to continue to receive affection. I am just curious if it is as unbalanced as it seems.

[Dontgiveup]

I have received no affection (no physical touch, kissing, nothing) since bomb drop.

[Still]

Don't,

I do wonder if that is more common and it just seems like we are in the minority.

[OldPilot]

I think it has to do more with the type of MLC your spouse is in.
I forgot what RCR terms it but higher amount of antics and lower amount of antics.
Still,DGU and my wife are all in the low portion and there is less affection that goes with it..
More than likely lower testosterone levels. Just a guess on my part.

Someone help me out with RCR's term for it.

[LettingGo]

Husband had already been conveniently gone for work for several weeks when I coaxed the bomb drop out of him. He just simply stayed gone. At one point he came home to see the kids and took me out for cocktails (he stayed at a hotel) where he realized how attracted he still was to me and the 180 I did nearly spun his head around! Since then, he cannot keep his hands off of me when we see each other. It has been confusing for him. As long as I am in his presence, he shows affection but always asks if it is ok with me. Also, lot's of "I will always love you, etc." texts.

[slapres]

Well, it has only been a week since we were in the MC's office and he said it was definately over. We had made love the night before mind you. After the session, he took me out to dinner held my hand when I cried. And all this week, if I cry he is right there. But no holding hands, no brushing up against me, etc. Until Wednesday night he came home and was extremely affectionate in bed, but I kept saying no, we both will regret this in the morning.... he agreed, then after 3 hours of him not leaving me alone, we made love/had sex again. And yes I am still kicking myself. Not sure which would be worse, because the affection is certainly sending a mixed message even though his words are still " I am sure this is over". As our therapist said, the mixed messages are just cruel.

I don't know if this is any help, since this is all new for me too. But this has been my week, which I am going to be asking some questions as well in my thread.

Good luck to you.

[LifeGoesOn]

During those times he was living at home, yes. That is until I discovered the A picked back up or was ongoing.

[Sideways]

Hello.  My H quit touching me Jan 2009.  That is last time we were intimate.  I have had maybe 3 hugs since then.  This happened about I month prior to bomb-drop.
Sideways

[Trustandlove]

No -- well, he still was for the day of BD and the day after, but since then it's been the odd peck on the cheek (like you would to any friend) and perhaps 2 hugs -- and that's in 3 years....

Along the way, depending on what state he was in, he has been willing to walk arm in arm (but it's been me taking his arm) a couple of times; I think we've held hands once....   And that's only been when he has been very down. 

And he used to be the most affectionate person on the planet, honest, literally right up until BD.  That was something we both used to love and value, openly saying so frequently. 

He's still affectionate with the children. 

[Still]

Sideways,

My speech was January 09, too. He stopped being affectionate afterwards. He was still telling me "love you" for a few months, but when I told him it confused me, he never said it again.

T&L,

My H is still affectionate with the children (probably more so than he used to be).