I keep reminding myself about that when I feel like throwing the towel in - there is always that decision. Throw in the towel and not be treated horribly any longer by a man who may or may not ever "come back" who is being a horrible example of what a husband should be for my kids to see right now or stay and show them how serious marriage vows are and how to keep them even when things are awful and show them what it means to love unconditionally.
Sometimes (a lot of times) it seems harder to stay.
Trusting, you're right..you indeed take a chance on him never "coming back"...but that is the chance you are taking...and look how far you've both come.
Don't give up, the end is nearer than you think...remember God's time is never ours.
On the other hand, it is MUCH harder to stay and fight than it is to run away from it all...that's where strength and endurance come into play as the race continues up one hill, down the other....at times you're scaling mountains, going through deep valleys.
But, throughout, God is always there, whispering "You can do this, just hang on a little while longer."
I remember late nights, praying and asking the Lord "How much longer?" His reply was always the same, "Not long."
Not long in His time, was nearly a year in my time, but everything I saw happen in that year, was meant to happen, and I thanked the Lord for continuing to see me through, even when I was lacking in strength, worrying myself to death; mostly that I would have to endure this limbo for the rest of my life.
There was enough good times that happened to help me hang on for the end that I knew within my heart was coming, but it didn't seem to be coming fast enough.
Patience, Child, I've been there, too...and I've often thought, "How does God ever so patiently wait upon people whom He's been calling for years and years?"
The waiting in this crisis, is not that much different, and He really does understand how we feel, as He's been there, too.
He KNOWS we get tired, He KNOWS we are ready for this to end, He KNOWS these things, but He knows something we don't....He knows what is ahead in the future..and we get "flashes" or dreams of what's ahead...so, subconsciously, some of us knows how this may come out...
IF we will wait just a bit longer, trust in the Lord for our strength, and be willing to finish this race.
I've heard it compared to the Israelites in their 40 day journey, that, originally was only supposed to take 10 to 15 days, but because they complained, the Lord made them wait that long for the Promised Land...and all who had complained, died before they ever saw it.
A NEW generation saw the land that was promised to them...God kept His word.
Or even Job, who lost everything, but still trusted in the Lord..."Though He slay me, I will still praise Him"(paraphrase). In the end, he regained everything he lost, as God kept His word.
In return for being obedient within this trial, the blessings that come as a result, are more than you can contain, as I can well attest.
God blessed me beyond my wildest expectations, but those blessings didn't just come within a restored marriage, they also came in OTHER ways....He continues to provide for me even unto this day; and I trust in Him with everything I have.
I did get angry, and miserable at times, but God was very understanding about that, He knew I was tired, and some days, I didn't think I would make it any further...but He would give me a flash of what was coming, and every promise He made was kept to me.
He was continuing to teach me different things throughout that I would not have learned if I'd given up and gone on, when He'd plainly said this would finish, but He never said WHEN it would finish, nor did He show me how twisted the path would be to the finish line.
I took many twists and turns, and sometimes faced detours to get to the end of this..but I did reach it, and so will you.
In time, I learned to just let go of my husband completely, stop complaining, let the Lord work it all out, became happy with whatever was happening, and I watched my husband work his way out on his own time...and I had become OK with whatever would happen.
After I purged my experience out...a load lifted off me, and I was able to go on with my life once again...and when he came out quickly, I was in a better place than I had been before.
Hold on to the Lord, even if you cannot hold on and trust in anything else.
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Curious About Affection