[OldPilot]

That was confusing for a moment, but I see some kind person has linked this to a former thread 

I wonder who would ever do something like that ^^^^^^ ?   

[kikki]

Hmmm, I had my suspicions!!   

Thanks OP

[UnconditionalLove]

Just thought it would be interesting to see how long MLC when through the montering faze. Did her/she just do it in the beginning, only in replay, in between stage?

[MyBrainIsBroken]

Just thought it would be interesting to see how long MLC when through the montering faze. Did her/she just do it in the beginning, only in replay, in between stage?

Just a couple of times at the beginning. I validated and apologized and since then we seem to be "friends" (Yuck).

[Moving Forward]

I am sad to say Monster was/is my exH's default position. He was really angry for about 3 years (one year leading up to CD which I think was guilt and shame) and the two years afterwards but I stepped back to a really safe distance. I see, even now, 5 years since he left he is on a hair trigger and still very quick to get cross but I am no longer the brunt of it.

Monster is soul destroying because it can come dressed in nice clothes and attitude - I have had charming Monster too which was more difficult to spot but was passive aggressive and controlling.

[CallanG]

Mine has shown monster in a passive aggressive way anger would actually be better because it would show he is feeling something. Instead has been cold and indifferent , he knows that it pushes my buttons .

Callan 

[Lanzo]

My xW is permanently in Monster mode most of her family and friends tiptoe around her or make allowance for her so as to not upset her or make her angry. In the 20 years I had known her it had always been like this.

From my point of view I first saw monster in 2001, this was just after D13 was born and before I knew anything about MLC. xW screamed some really hurtful thing at me about me and my family, she even went on to say that if any man shows her any attention she would have sex with them as she didn’t want me to touch her. I remember at the time I didn’t understand what was going on but wrote down everything I could remember as I knew there must be some significance to it.

I didn’t see   Monster again until 2004 when out of the  she screamed at me “This marriage is over” and she went into escape and avoid. In 2005 I caught her out in a PA, instead of being contrite and wanting to make amends she just got angry with me and was like this until the PA died round 2007. At the time she told me she had an awakening and wanted to be with her family. I still didn’t know about MLC and we just kind of struggled along trying to put our marriage back together.

In 2009 she flew into one of her rages, her car had broken down and she phoned me ranting and raving over that and that put us on the back foot again, it seemed that whenever our marriage settled down she  would do something to cause an argument to put distance between us so she could escape and avoid.

2011 I told her I’d had enough, at first she begged me to give the marriage one more chance, but I thought to myself I wasn’t going to me manipulated and abused any more. When she saw I was serious she turned into Monster and has been there pretty much ever since. Divorce proceedings started 2012 and was final 2014.  I had 2 years with a live in MLC’er permanently in Monster mode, some of the things she did to antagonise me were outrageous,  but I survived it.

As for xW she’s stuck in replay and has several OM on the go, so one  of them must be getting monster, just glad it’s not me anymore.



Lanzo

[MeNow]

Mine was a monster for about 3 years. Luckily I'm not afraid of monsters anymore.

[in it]

 The ex was in monster daily for the passed 10 years..discontent, spent money, disregarded, and dismissed what anybody else wanted.

Great Christmas idea for a T-shirt:

Instant @$$hole- just add money

[Thunder]

My X didn't show much Monster.
Only a few times after BD and it was ALWAYS about money.  He couldn't understand why we couldn't just go our separate ways and take care of ourselves, financially.

Um...maybe because we had been married for almost 22 years, he made $30,000 a year more than me and I was retired and had limited income.