[Mamma Bear]

   My sister who's H left and came home a few years back has a great view down the block of her neighborhood. She can look out her suburban kitchen window and see all her neighbors outside in their driveways and yards
   She said since her Hs MLC she can pick out the Hs who are having one just by looking out her window. The depression,  the wardrobe changes , how they look at a woman running by etc   new corvettes and motorcycles and boats
   She said "Oh yeah I can tell when they are prime candidates for MLC" She could be like a smoke detector.....she should warn the spouses what's coming

[Stillpraying]

When I met H he already had crohnes and diabetes.  Hi diabetes did improve and he is now on tablets.  Hi crohnes is under controlm with a daily 'inner health' tablet.  He was on other drugs for it when I met him which supressed his immune system.  He got sick all the time.

He also had other bouts of illness at stressful times and I was left carrying the load of the stress which was for both of us, plus looking after the family and he wanted me to 'pamper' him because he was ill.  I did feel compassion but simply could not be at his beck and call while he watched video's in bed and I had 3 small kids to look after.

Since he's been at his latest job I noticed he wasn't sick any where near as much.  There's plenty of women there .  What got me most was he was 'too sick' to go to work and as he was self employed, that simply meant NO money. But then in the evening he would insist he need to go practice with his band as 'they depended on him'   Like we didn't?

[Standing in Patience]

Mamma Bear,

I asked my h about a colleague of his before h's BD. The colleague looked like he had vacant eyes and was barreling down the hallway at work. Mostly though I saw these "weird, vacant eyes" just staring ahead. The man looked like it was in a trance moving forward. I said to h, "what's up with him". H said "what, I don't know." Later learned that this colleague left his wife. Perhaps another mlc man.

Now that we know what those eyes look like. An empty view into an escaping soul....

[turkisheye]

I have seen my H a few times since BD and also spoken on the phone several times. Whenever I saw him he looked and sounded unwell - full of the cold etc. Last time we spoke a couple of weeks ago he had a hacking cough that he said he can't shift since before Christmas. I am sure it is stress that is the cause. All self inflicted of course 

[JD]

My MLC'er is always, always exhausted.  He is often down with a cold  and has gained weight.
He's about as much fun as a bag of wet popcorn.

[moc]

So once again on this subject, as it happened again.  Whenever wifey gets stressed and runs, she starts her cycle again...coupled with diarrhea.  She had just finished her cycle only a few days prior and now started again...she ALWAYS tells me...she is so weird with her gory details on stuff.  Really has never bothered me but it is like dealing with a 12yr old boy fascinated with his own biological processes.  Silly stuff.

So this time I took it quite funny that as she has thrown the "I am going back to hometown" on me not more than 12 hours prior to leaving, she starts up again on her cycle.  Hmm, maybe the Lord above is trying to tell you something sweetheart.  Are you listening.  In fact her cycles are usually regular like rain.  It is when the stress levels start to surmount (and maybe some guilt, shame, who knows) that she gets out of whack.  I am thinking a bit of peri also but who knows.  Her PMS/PMDD is hella worse in the past 3 years than it ever has been in the coming up 16yr of marriage.  I really don't remember it as much in the first 5yr of our marriage...maybe the dopamine kept it under bay during the honeymoon period but now the ocytocin is really smacking her around. 

I especially giggle inside when she mentions that she looks in the mirror and sees her mother.  Thank God I don't see her mother in her other than her demeanor and actions.  Just like her mother...down to the MLC.

[honour]

I am thinking a bit of peri also but who knows.

My W hit menopause in 2009 at 46-47 years old. Well before she reached her 48 birthday she was commiting adultery and had turned into someone whose behaviour that me and the children didn't recognise. Is there a link?

honour

[SpecialK]

Mine was the same as JD's.  Each time I saw him he was exausted, often had colds, flu type symptoms and frequent coughs.  He very rarely suffered when we were together.  He's also gained weight. 

He has tummy problems - hearnia and piles - and these always flair up when he's stressed, upset etc.

He also ploughs himself into his work.  He admitted to me a long time ago that when things were going wrong in this life, he would put everything into his work, that way it didn't have to think about it.  You ignore it and it comes out in other ways.

But I guess now that he's all love-up and happy with Ms Welsh, these symptoms would have disappeared.

SKxxx

[SpecialK]

The other thing I that was very apparent with ex - he lost all interest in football.  He'd always watch his team, meet up with friends when the game was on TV.  That all went, didn't know the scores, how they were doing etc., and shows no interest.

[devoted]

My H is the same SK stopped watching his beloved team,does not talk to the boys about football,they all have arsenal membership but he has not taken them to one game this season.........H sold his golf clubs and now plays squash once a month,it used to be weekly