[Dontgiveup]

I doubt all the elements have to be there, but I think most of the usually are......they are the key symptoms.  I don't so much use the term logical vs illogical to describe MLC behavior as much as I use rational vs irrational.

I may have posted this earlier in this thread, but I don't remember.  This is from RCR's MLC Overview article

There are many who witness the Cycling and Chaotic behaviour and conclude that Midlifers know exactly what they are doing. Since the behaviour cycles, there are pockets of rationale and clarity. Some are able to compartmentalize their lives, functioning at work and other activities away from the home. It is not that the Midlifers do not care, but rather that they must shield themselves from caring. They feel they must do whatever it is they are doing even when internally admitting it is wrong. They steel themselves emotionally; but they are not without guilt; rather I believe that for many it is the opposite. Their guilt is so immense that the burden is overwhelming. They are running from the demons within themselves and from the burdening reminders of guilt from the spouse, whether she is actively laying guilt or not. In addition, OWs add guilt by forcing responsibility for their happiness and success on the midlifer, and then by punishing him when he cycles between her and his wife.

Midlifers are not always aware of their actions. There is an awareness within each moment, but a global absence of awareness; this only becomes clear later. Driven by emotions, Midlifers are moment and self focused and often unable to link consequences and understand the relation of their behaviour to the external world. Their memory becomes fuzzy; though they may be aware of their actions during each present moment, in clarity they may not recall what takes place during fog and vice versa.

Large chunks of time are holistically blank. There may be a memory of certain events within those chunks, but the external relation to the world is lost. Events are not linked solidly to other things and thus may have no chronological placement. Time is a tangled string that rather than linear.

[rover77]

Mid Lifer thinking..I can't argue with that..there were times I was very aware she was irrational..in my opinion ,my X danced on the edge of psychosis at times...

[Thundarr]

Same with my W, Rover, as you well know.

Speaking of whom, she came over for the SuperBowl and hung around until after we ate.  I asked her to bring nothing, but she did bring S7 and I a piece of cake.  She indulged in all the food and praised me several times for how good it was, but kept saying she couldn't eat much as she did not want to gain weight.  She sat in her old spot on the couch but kep offering to give it to me, maybe so we would not be beside each other.  D19 was real upset about her bf and always turns to W for comfort and W did at least go through the motions. 

Don't know if it's because it's SuperBowl Sunday or I'm just used to it, but nothing bothered me tonight.  I treated her like a guest and kept telling myself that we're just friends.  Maybe this us what a regular breakup is like?  Rider reminded me about no expectations and it really helped.  I have no W now and maybe it's finally sunk in.  If I have found peace then this has been a great weekend.

[rover77]

Nice avatar!

[Rider]

Thundarr ...

Seriously dude.  That is a very --- avatar.  Hey, not that there's anything wrong with that! [Seinfeld reference]

Plus, my W's OM wishes he looked like that! [give that he's supposedly ---!!]

OMG, I'm having too good of a time.

Sorry about the Pats T.   

Let's hope for a good week ahead. 

Rider

[Rider]

Thundarr ... you could tone that down by putting cartoon Thundarr in same pic as a cartoo Princess Ariel!  She's is pretty hot, you know.  BTW ... I know this because of Google! 

[Thundarr]

Lol!!! I picked it because it really looks like me, except for the furry vest. 

Actually, the furry vest might be the only part that DOES look like me.  And btw, TB sent me that pic.  Maybe he sensed something.  Maybe we should try it out.  If I meet a 35 year-old guy then I should.get at least 15 good years out of him before he goes nuts.  And if I find someone my own size then my wardrobe doubles.  Just a thought....

Too much fun here too!

[Thundarr]

Google?  Would you be ashamed to actually LIKE the greatest cartoon ever?

[rover77]

every one knows that Jonny Quest and Rocky and Bullwinkle were the best ever

[Thundarr]

Rider just sent me a ton of Thundarr pics and some of them rock.  I'm starting to think TB sent me the ------ Thundarr pic he could find.  Thanks...

And I agree on Rocky and Bullwinkle, but mainly because Natasha was smoking hot.  She could give Daphne from Scooby-Doo a run for her money.