[Sassyone]

Great idea!  Thundarr, re-read this thread.  Hugs,

Sassy

PS:  Modifying my list to add a few more . . . there are some positives that come out of this nightmare.

I am less judgmental
I am more relaxed
I listen to people more
I trust my intuition more
I am calmer
I think before I speak
I am more compassionate
I am less angry
I am closer to my kids
I have developed closer relationships with key people in my life
I have boundaries of acceptable behaviour
I am more positive.
I do not yell.
I have more patience.
I am forgiving.
I like myself.
I AM NOT CO-DEPENDENT ANY MORE!!!!!

[LoveMeMyself]

This is an awesome idea (thanks Thundarr).  We should focus more on the positive side of this.......afterall, we have been given the gift of time.

Here's my list:

I have a closer relationship with God and growing stronger in faith each day.
I've always thought of myself as a strong woman......but am now even stronger.
I'm not afraid to try doing things on my own (mostly repairs).  ha, ha.
I am more patient, compassionate, forgiving and understanding.
I know my love is unconditional.
I focus more on what others say............more listening and less talking.
I am less judgmental.
I've always known I'm responsible for my own happiness......this experience has strengthened my determination and taught me not to depend on another for my happiness.
I've learned to focus more on the positive and less on the negative.

[Mitzpah]

These are things that are better

I am more positive about things (not so critical)
I am more humble
I am more thankful for everything
I am closer to God and trust Him for everything
I am more economical
I think before I speak
I am fitter and thinner (and kept it off 
I do not yell
I find happiness in small things

[BonBon]

Love this...the ying of the yang of what hurt us the most...

So my list of positives is:

I am far closer to God.
I am even more dedicated to helping animals (seems strange but is in part due to this drama).
I am capable of more forgiveness than I thought.
I proved that I am as committed as I always claimed I was.
When I am determined to do something, I now do it.
I am more mature than I was.
I am less afraid of what people think of me.
I am less afraid of what my husband thinks of me.
I am better at standing up for myself than I thought.
I like myself and that includes what some others might list as negative about me.
I know exactly who I am and exactly who I want to be...me!

Bon

[Trustandlove]

A couple for me:

I no longer let anxiety rule
I automatically look for and see good things every day -- I faked it until one day I found that I was doing it for real!  Yes, it does work.  And I say thank you automatically for so much in the same way.....

[Finding Hope]

Great topic.

I am able to control my OCD
I am more compassionate
I am a better listener
I have more patience (still need more work on that one)
I am less judgemental
I try to only fix my problems
I have given up my power and only control the things that pertain to me
I have found a filter for my mouth, I choose my words carefully
I don't say things that will hurt others out of anger
I do not yell or even raise my voice
I am thinner
I am calmer
I don't curse (as much)
I am finding my happiness


C
C

[BonBon]

I surely hope this thread is read by all those in the early stages that feel the intense despair and shock...If I had to guess, I would guess most of us who have written never thought we would ever find these positive changes when we first landed here.

Hugs,
Bon

[calamity]

I surely hope this thread is read by all those in the early stages that feel the intense despair and shock...If I had to guess, I would guess most of us who have written never thought we would ever find these positive changes when we first landed here.

Hugs,
Bon

Just came across this & I agree--those in early stages should read it.

[Keepthefaith22]

This is a great topic. Since my H's MLC

I am less afraid of everything
I have girlfriends!
I have my own social life!
I am closer to all my children, especially my youngest son
I listen more
I don't have to have all the answers to every problem in life anymore, it's ok to say I don't know
I got my sense of humor back
My blood pressure went down 30 points
I am much more spiritual
I pray more
I watch so much less TV and talk to friends instead
I'm more confident in myself and trust my gut
Apparently I must look more attractive- get alot of compliments
I am finding me

[osb]

Ohh, this is a wonderful topic. I am very early in the MLC timeline, in the grand scheme of things... but already have many things to be thankful for.

• I am stronger emotionally. I don't get crushed by H when he flares at me, I can't be controlled (or at least not as easily ).
  
• I am stronger physically. Almost as strong as H, but who's counting? I'm pretty sure now I could climb a mountain without H - maybe I will one day!
• I've lost the weight that comes with 20 years of good living! 
• Used to be a little smug - had a kinda charmed life, and on some level must've thought I deserved it somehow. 'Nuff of that. I deserve neither the good nor the bad. It's not about deserving.
• I'm ok with being alone, doesn't terrify me. Used to.
• I've made my peace with not having children.
• Didn't know until now just how much love surrounds me. My family and friends are godsends, when I needed them they've dropped everything to help me - with practical necessities, and intangible horrors.
• Didn't know until now my capacity for love. Every time I look at H, my heart tugs. I can acknowledge how badly he hurt me, but still know how much he is worthy of love.
• Don't really have to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. No more drama queen. Discretion really is the better part of valour...
• I know it's ok to cry, to feel pain; but I'm becoming capable of waiting for the rainbow to come out without wondering where the sharp knives are kept.
• I can look inside of myself and find calm.
• Used to think I've accomplished what I had because of H; I'm beautiful because I see it in his eyes; I'm strong because he has my back. No. No more doubts. I'm strong; I'm beautiful (to whatever extent genetics and makeup allow!); I've accomplished. If H sees that, I'm glad; but it's not necessary.