[Mermaid]

First.......... we have to understand ourselves, resolve our own inner conflicts,

then... understand the other (empathy),

finally return to your own centre with this new insight.

I've been given this reading many times in the past three months. I've taken it seriously and the result has been less conflict.

[Rollercoasterider]

I would say that it is saying Self-Focus.

[Mermaid]

The Superior Person finds common ground between points of contention, wearing away rigid perspectives that would lead to fatal error. Pigs and fishes. You may cross to the far shore. Great fortune if you stay on course.

My I Ching book says the following:
The image is of a gentle wind over a lake, stirring the surface of the water, indicating a heart free of prejudice and open to the truth. Self focus is vital, but here it also seemed to be asking me to look again at H's perspective as well as my own. "Pigs and Fishes" are difficult to influence, so the force of influence must grow before action is taken. And who is more difficult to influence than a MLCer? The whole secret of success is finding the right approach.

I arrived home, and H came to talk. I was feeling angry about OW, who H says is just a friend, and wondering whether I should now force him into a choice. It would not be right yet. Instead of feeling my  love, which I think I have given unconditionally, he feels pressured from all sides, even by me, even when I think I am not. OW gives him space, freedom, no pressure.

Here is my focus; less pressure on H, more understanding, as well as  taking more responsibility for my own happiness.

[Mermaid]

Here's an I ching that could be for all of us. I asked about what attitude I should take to H, who has gone away for a few days. I need to transcend to a new existence... there is no going back, only forward.

6 – Six Sung / Conflict
 The high Heavens over a yawning Deep chasm: An expansive void where nothing can dwell. Even though he sincerely knows he is right, the Superior Person anticipates opposition and carefully prepares for any incident.  Good fortune if your conflict results in compromise. Misfortune if your conflict escalates to confrontation. Seek advice. Postpone your crossing to the far shore.
SITUATION ANALYSIS:
 Conflict is a necessary part of life. Tension upon the strings of a violin can make majestic music. The critical mass of two hydrogen atoms trying to occupy the same space fuel the sun that nourishes our solar system. Most conflicts you face in life are the result of your Path converging with another's. Your Path is not his, and one Path is not necessarily more right than the other. Can you work together to remove the blockage? Compassion should be used to heal any rifts within your relationship. Listen very carefully to anything your partner has to say.

This changes to:
47 - Forty-Seven K'un / Exhaustion
 A Dead Sea, its Waters spent eons ago, more deadly than the desert surrounding it: The Superior Person will stake his life and fortune on what he deeply believes.  Triumph belongs to those who endure. Trial and tribulation can hone exceptional character to a razor edge that slices deftly through every challenge. Action prevails where words will fail.
SITUATION ANALYSIS:
 This is the realm of the Shaman. You have exhausted every alternative, spent yourself completely, taxed body and mind beyond your former limits. Survival and salvation lie beyond your reach now. Only transcendence to a new existence -- a higher plane of being -- will see you through. The Old You is just a dry husk. You can't return to it. Metamorphosis is the only grace offered. You can only return to your homeland as a New You.
Overview: K'un appears when times are difficult as regards to your endeavors. It is a particularly dangerous time as you run the risk of falling into despair or getting depressed no matter how much you yearn for success. This can happen at any time and as issues are hard to deal with at such a time, K'un recommends that in future times like this should be prepared for well in advance.

[Courageous wife]

You are right...it does apply to all of us!

[dawnlight]

Mermaid, I followed your advice and tried the I Ching a few times. Every time I was amazed by the results!
Today I asked: "how should I behave when he comes back?" (H on holiday with ow)
Cast Hexagram:
26 - Twenty-Six Ta Ch'u / Recharging Power

Heaven's motherlode waits within the Mountain:
The Superior Person mines deep into history's wealth of wisdom and deeds, charging his character with timeless strength.

Persevere.
Drawing sustenance from these sources creates good fortune.
Then you may cross to the far shore.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

There are important precedents in this situation.
Others have trodden this Path before you, overcoming the same obstacles facing you now, and making crucial decisions at the same crossroads.
Study their journals, watch for their trail markings.
Gain inspiration and wisdom from the heroes and learn from the mistakes of those who chose a sidepath.
All were Seekers, explorers whose daring mapped a course you can follow.
The words and deeds of the finest can imbue you with the courage necessary to face what lies before you.

Needless to say I’m already gaining inspiration from you all!!!!
Hugs

[Mermaid]

Yes, that's quite amazing!

I've also found that the iChing repeats itself several times when I'm in the same situation.

The biggest advantage it has is that it gets us to reflect on our own behaviour. The philosophy beheind it is Taoist, so it is concerned with the harmony of the universe, and the natural process of change. This is what we have to face and accept; life is change, we have to adapt to it and use our energies appropriately in order to be in harmony with the cosmos.

[LIVINSTRONG]

This is fun.

my question: What should my attitude be toward  my husband who is living with a other woman.

Hex 15   ch'en/ modesty

The mountain does not overshadow the plain surrounding it: Such modest consideration in a superior person creates a channel through which excess flows to the needy.
            Success if you carry things through.

situation a.

The cosmos is moving toward equilibrium. Extremes are being tempered excess is begining to shift toward the empty.  You can use these moderating influences to strike a balance in the world around you.
Remember though that this leveling will not come about through an arrogant confiscation of excess, but through subtler persuasions.
                Modesty and moderation are the keys.

wow what do you think of that.

[Mermaid]

I think the iChing seems like it is in tune with the philosophy of this forum!

[Love being on higher grounds]

here is another...why do I have such a hard time understanding it??? someone help me out please???

question...will h move home soon

Cast Hexagram:

18 - Eighteen
Ku / Repairing the Damage

Winds sweep through the Mountain valley:
The Superior Person sweeps away corruption and stagnation by stirring up the people and strengthening their spirit.

Supreme success.
Before crossing to the far shore, consider the move for three days.
After crossing, devote three days of hard labor to damage control.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are blessed with an opportunity to resuscitate that which others have abandoned as beyond repair.
This ruin wasn't caused by evil intention, but by indifference to decay.
Just by addressing yourself to the problem, you exhibit a new awareness, a fresh perspective.
This is a time of recovery, renewal, regeneration.