[Do you believe your spouse has a personality disorder? If so, which? (choose one)]

Do you believe your spouse has a personality disorder? If so, which? (choose one)

Paranoid personality disorder

Schizotypal personality disorder

Schizoid personality disorder

Antisocial personality disorder

Histrionic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

Avoidant personality disorder

Dependent personality disorder

Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder

None (when not in MLC)

[WarriorSprit]

Mermaid same here. For first 25 years of our marriage she never wanted to go anywhere. The the last 6 before bomb drop we went out dancing every weekend. Now she does not want to go anymore. I have to say I miss dancing with her it was romantic for me.

[Mamma Bear]

  Mermaid and KiKi and Tired and Confused My sister told me onetime recently that this whole mlc affair thing is like a dance. We are sitting there holding our spouse's seat and they are out dancing with the girl in high school that would "do" anyone. LOL! or the guy in high school who was known for that.   Yucky slime balls now. With yucky yucky morals too. Our spouses? Let's hope that it's the 180 of an mlcer trying to not look inside themselves bc demons are making noises in their FOG filled heads.   For now. For today.

[Mermaid]

According to a psychologist friend, even if H does exhibit some traits of schizoid PD, like his withdrawn, anti social nature, it's not enough to classify a PD. She says true schizoids are much more wierd, and across all contexts, not just at home. He wouldn't be able to function.

So he's just disinterested in people. Especially me.

[superdog]

Hiya, just chipping in, hope you don't mind.

My H definitely has a lot of the major characteristics of Avoidant PD, except the social interactions. Plays in a band, but behind a drum kit. Although people from different backgrounds, classes etc make him feel really uncomfortable ( the inferiority thing I would imagine) and doesn't want to mix with them.

He is aware that he is "complex" but seems to revel in the fact that other people can't work him out. He's an enigma, he describes it as. He also says that he knows he keeps people at arms length on purpose and that he misses out in relationships. He also talks about having very few close friends and how sad that makes him. Reckon this is his Mum too as in 21 years I hardly know the real woman and have never so much as seen her pat him on the arm in affection.

Was just wondering if perhaps the OW thing is sometimes about trying on a new way for size in a comfortable environment where it doesn't matter as much if they get it wrong or it doesn't suit??
Could be practising for the future when it gets more comfy to do it with you?
Don't think this is true in many of the other PD's.

Our part in the practising is about showing we can listen more than we talk sometimes. (okay bit of a struggle for us ladies at times) Especially given the rubbish we have to listen to from time to time. Making it safe for them.

That personality type is not going away from them, only their reactions to it, just as we've had to change in detachment. Which we all know is possible, so maybe they can do it too?

This deep thinking makes you want to go eat cake or something, so off I go.......

x