[limitless]

If any mentor has the time, I would mind some insight.  Kind of feel a bit in the dark at present.  I'm feeling more at peace with life as it is but I wonder where H is at?  I know that shouldn't be my focus but it does unnerve me somewhat.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2193.0

Still Praying,

Quite honestly, you really won't know "where your H is at" - until you are looking in the rear view mirror.  As RCR writes in her articles - Replay is resilient - and just when you think they may be leaving Replay - they head back for it with a vengance.....as they are still looking for an easy fix and Replay helps them to avoid.  Also, the MLCers can run - even though the alienator is gone....sometimes they go looking for another one (my H has done this twice) - as the MLCer is still in crisis.

I know this isn't what you want to hear (it wasn't what I wanted to hear) - but stop watching your H and wondering where he is....(it's most likely still in Replay......but again - you really don't know....until much later).  Focus on yourself and your family - what you need to do for YOU.

Sorry...I know that wasn't the answer that you wanted.

Hugs,

limitless

EDIT - Two notes but I agree with the above. REPLAY/ end of OW is not the end of the crisis. So he may be  out of REPLAY and headed into OW Withdrawal, but it sounds like he is still in escape and avoid mode,  and still not headed back towards you. You will only really be able to know this much later down the road, when you are able to look backwards.  Even if he is done with REPLAY your actions do not change. _ OldPilot

[stayed]

This is such a good idea.  This way nobody will be missed.

hugs Stayed

[BonBon]

I agree with Stayed.
People have from time to time told me they felt badly not having any responses.
If that happens to anyone on their regular thread, please don't feel badly nor take it personally.  Its just a busy place sometimes and sometimes hard to keep up!

Bon

[Finding Hope]

I feel this is a great Idea. Im too new to this but I have at times felt that my thread was overlooked. When I come here to post it is with the hope that someone will respond. I feel that it is just not the newbies that look for guidance.

I have felt dissapointment when I post and there were no response and I had to ask others to look at it.

I don't believe that the time you are involved in MLC changes that fact that you need to come here, vent, ask questions, get support or just know that someone is listening.

I am sorry at the recent events that has caused some to decide to leave the board. I hope that in the future these wonderful people will come back. They have always had great insight, advise and shown a great deal of love.

Thank you RCR, for this great idea. It will make a difference in so many.

C

[limitless]

Confused,

I feel this is a great Idea. Im too new to this but I have at times felt that my thread was overlooked. When I come here to post it is with the hope that someone will respond. I feel that it is just not the newbies that look for guidance.

I also think this is a good idea....We are glad you find it a positive addition to the site.

I have felt dissapointment when I post and there were no response and I had to ask others to look at it.

As Bon Bon said, please do not take this personally.  There are more people coming to the site each day....it is difficult to keep up.  Also, asking others specificially for some feedback is not a bad thing.  It's okay to reach out.

I don't believe that the time you are involved in MLC changes that fact that you need to come here, vent, ask questions, get support or just know that someone is listening.

Actually, with time...detachment and acceptace does come (I hope eventually for ME  ) - you will learn to trust your own intuition and decisions more.  You also come to a point where you are not as deeply affected by the actions of your MLCer.  Again, this doesn't happen overnight.  It comes, as OP states, in layers.

That doesn't mean we don't feel the need to vent and share with others...But, quite honestly, not as much as in the beginning.  Anyway, that is how it was for me.  Others may feel differently.

Hugs,

L

[WarriorPriestess]

Hi Kathy SB,

Fyi here is the response to your original post from OldPilot:

EDIT - I hope you don't mind kathy but I am splitting this off the Mentor thread and creating your own thread.
This way we will assign you your own personal mentor, but feel free to continue to ask questions.
OldPilot

Here is the link to your own personal thread:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2231.0

Welcome. 

[Stillpraying]

Limitless and OP.
Thank you.  Please don't apologise.  I just want to hear the truth.
Thanks.
It helps a lot.
SP

[LoveMeMyself]

Questions:

  I have been divorced now for 16 months (BD 28 months).  It took nearly two years for my exH to get the bulk of his personal belongings from the house.  I still have items in the storage unit plus 3 boxes of clothes, books, framed items and other miscellaneous items that belongs to him.  I have mentioned these things to him on several occasions..........it's been at least 2 to 3 months since the last time.  He makes no attempts to get the rest of his stuff. 

 My questions: Should I bring it up again or not?  What is the suggested protocol in regards to this type of situation?

EDIT: Answered in LMM's thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1596.msg131359#msg131359 -SS

[LoveMeMyself]

Thanks, StillStanding.  I replied on my thread.  I think this question thing is a very good idea.  Keep up the good work LBS'ers! 

[keepsmiling]

I am struggling with what to do about cake eating.   H still is home and tells me he loves me and clings to me when I become distant  but wont give up the ow because he's in love with her and it hurts too much.   I read about boundaries and not being a doormat but I also read that you shouldn't do things  too soon after bd which was a little over 6 mths ago.  Is it too early to limit my contact (which is hard in the same house)?