[nesquick2]

kikki  soooooooooooooo funny. made me giggle so much 
sk  lies lies and lies. dont believe anything. ive so learnt them words from my hubby through mlc mean nothing. while they are in replay we just have to let them be. at this point in time you dont know what he is telling ow and you. i can guarantee its not the same story. keep asking your questions though and im sure between us all we can help you grow stronger and stronger xxx 

[SpecialK]

Hi All

It's snowing here - that's  not allowed it's nearly Spring!  Was hoping to get out in the garden today, but that's certainly stopped play.  Have to do indoor stuff now.  Will be watching Tottenham v Man U later with a beer   

Just catching up on my thread, great insight to all of this maze    Thinking back to first DB, I begged ex severanl times to tell me if there was any else.  I text him to be totally honestly with me, was there someone else please don't make a fool of me.  He text back the following day saying:  'No there is no-one else, only S.  It's me that's being the fool'  All the time he was seeing and sleeping with Scary Bird, telling her all the things she wanted to hear.  He also told Scary Bird the reason he hadn't told me they were 'going out together' (that so makes me laugh, sounds like playground stuff), was because I would smash his house up!  Yeh right, why on earth would I, it's my home and besides I would have to fix it and it would cost me too much!  It's not in my nature to do stuff like that.  Revenue is so not sweet.  Lies have a way of being discovered in the end.

So Miss Wales, who knows?  Does she get the best of him, the real him or someone that's putting on an act, who's kidding himself?  The oly difference this time is that he was honest when I asked him if he meet someone special.  What I do know is that I'm best out of it, focusing only on my own journey now and allowing myself to grow and become stronger.  The seed has now been planted and I will grow into a strong, healthy, happy, vibrant flower  - simply the best! 

I feel so much has changed in me in the last week, I've no idea why or where the shift has come from (and it's a big shift) but I'm loving it.

Second councelling session tomorrow.

Thanks all, hugs


SKxxx

[stayed]

Wow specialK, you are sounding so much better.  There is nothing I love more then to see an LBS find their way through this oh so very difficult time.  It is so confusing, so directionless, in your heart you know they are making a HUGE mistake, but, alas, there is NOTHING you can do about his problems.  They are his problems... this is his crisis, you must leave him to sort it out, as best he can.

But to take this opportunity and rebuild YOURSELF, to find who you want to be and then to become that individual, then that is true success.  To not allow somebody elses crisis DESTROY you, that takes courage and determination.  I am seeing so much growth in your Specialk, it is something wonderful to watch.

Please continue to post.  hugs Stayed...

[Anjae]

SpecialK, I would say Miss Wales gets the best of the real current version of your husband: the MCLer version.  While his at that, you are getting stronger, fantastic and happier. 

[SpecialK]

That's what I'm starting to do Stayed, attaching from this mess and rebuilding myself.  Thank for your words of encouragement.

AnneJ:  Thank you for stopping by, your comments makes sense.  I don't like the person he is now, so in that respect Miss Wales has done me a favour 

Hugs SKxxx

[SpecialK]

Had my second councelling session yesterday, it went well.  I feel I can really open to her which can only be a good thing.  I think it also helps that I am more than ready to move on and let to.   I want to put the past behind me instead keep dragging into the here and now 

I was able to talk about my relationship with ex, digging deeper and also touched on my past relationships which will look at next week.  I really don't have a very good track record as far as relationships are concerned, which is also something we will look at.

Another thing I have to learn to stop doing is telling my Mum everything.  Her views change like the wind, sometimes she is a little bitter and negative.  Last night she told me that Miss Wales will probably tell ex to buy me out.  I appreciate she's my Mum and only wants the very best for me, but negative comments are not helpful.

Hugs SKxxx

[SpecialK]

I read this on the depression in men site:

http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/4446/76346/depressed-men

Link was posted by Stillpraying on the Depression Thread.

Here's a section of a reply to one the letters:

Lastly, I wouldn't worry - although you obviously can't avoid it - about his being happy with someone else. He'll just be carrying the same problems to a different relationship, and that won't change a thing. He may want to imagine that a new person will make all the difference and feel great for a time. But the same issues will inevitably come out all over again

SK xxx

[Beach1]

Hi,  I am new to this forum.  I was wondering if the O/P sees the cycling and anger or are they seeing the 'real person' without mlc behavior?  I can't imagine anyone would be willing to put up with such behavior.  Especially since there is no history, children or long term commitment.  Such a sad experience for the LBS, children and mlc person.  Not to mention collateral damage of grandparents and extended family members.

[superdog]

Good question, I am going to give you a example of just this.

My h was with ow at work when her husband suspect what was going on. They called me and begged me to tell lies to the husband and during this call I heard my h speak to the ow angrily swearing at her and demanding she give me her husbands telephone number. If anyone had every spoken to me like that I would have run a mile.

I just think that the OP wil accept anything because they are beyond needy.

Sd
X

[I believe in angels]

Hi, i 2nd that, from my own h incidental and from what i have heard from others is that ow/om will put up with anything and will keep taking the mlc er back because they are needy, insecure people themselves, that require looking after and will do anything for the mlc er to keep it thay way, including turning a blind eye to things. BUT eventually, they do catch on something is wrong. My h incidental actually fb me a message telling me she was ready to hear the truth about him now. I never answered, i just laughed and thought serves you right. She obviously knew something was wrong but she was so needy, she has taken him back for another go. Healthy relationship, NOT.