[Anjae]

Hello everyone,

Here we talk a lot of how our spouses have changed since the crisis, of the stuff they made while monster, in replay, when they touch & go or a real reconnection starts. I was wondering which words/ideas/images/feelings/sensation would you associate with your pre-crisis MLCer.

These are some of the ones I associate with my husband: food (oven dishes and deserts, mainly), comfort, laughing, red wife, intimacy, music, a well lighted household with soft gentle light, complementarily, challenging projects, dynamics, creativeness, affection,  share, boldness, long hours spend working or playing together.

Hugs,

Anne

[Mermaid]

Mine has been through stages. He was funny, interesting, insightful (about people and philosophy). He was always introverted.

About 5 years before MLC he went through a traumatic incident which took him back to his late teens. He was unbearably critical. Then he went back to his normal stressed self (sometimes OK, sometimes critical), until about a year before MLC. Then he became very, very withdrawn. Nothing I could do or so was acceptable. We never, ever went out, only worked.

When MLC hit, he suddenly wanted to go out all the time. He failed (and still fails) to see how manipulative OW is. He would have seen through her 20 years ago.

[Anjae]

Mermaid., looks like you husband was already on a bit of an emotional and behaviour rollercoaster before MLC hit full force.

When in MLC they fail to see through people they would when they were 20, or more, years younger. That is one of the things that makes us realise they are not on their real selves.

[Shantilly Lace]

Words associated with my MlCer before this?

Loving, stubborn, affectionate, caring laughter, warmth, trust safety

Playfulness. O I miss this.  But it is rearing its head again wih the girls so as hard as it is to see it is good as well.
Togetherness, friendship. Passion.
So many to list we had out fights but oh the love we had.

[TrustingMyHP]

AnneJ,

I like this question.  It makes me think of happy times.

The words I most associate with my pre-MLC H are:  kind, sweet, affectionate, honest, brilliant, funny, helpful, loving, sexy, dynamic, hard-working, far-seeing and generous.

He was all that and more.  I want to think that man is still within the MLC freak, as people tell me he is, but it's so hard to see it.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

TMHP

[maillady]

Music. Some days I can't even  listen to the radio while I'm at work and I love music. Sweety loves to sing karaoke, we have an extensive collection at home. If it's not some love song, it'll be a song that I remember him singing. Sometimes I have to get the camcorder out and watch some of our videos of karaoke nights at our house with friends. Good times!!!

Laughter, life, goofiness,kayaking, canoeing,fishing,camping.Just about anything outdoors,playing in the pool.

[Trustandlove]

Oh, I've been thinking about this....  it's good to remind ourselves.

My H?  Loving, kind, super-affectionate, honest, loyal, hard-working, enthusiastic, soft, warm, cuddly, togetherness, best friend, safety....   I could go on.

People used to say that just being in our house made them feel as if they were enveloped in a very loving environment. 

The things that have remained from pre-MLC is that he is still a good cook; he still works hard, but very, very differently.   And he is still very punctual.  Apologises if he's even 2 or 3 minutes late. 

One major casualty since the start of MLC is that he used to have very, very good BS radar -- that now seems to have gone completely out the window.   

[Dr. NO]

Good question.

My MLC W, in pre-MLC days/years:

Simple, straightforward, honest, truthful, welcoming of others at our house, Great cook,  meticulous in filing stuff, meticulous in keeping house clean (she would clean before and after, cleaning service visit... !!) but still not obsessed with clean clean..., polite, tolerant,  honest worker at workplace, giving (would be first to take out wallet/purse to pay in a group setting for all in the group).  Decent (but not great at comprehension) sense of humor.  The list is long.

Now, 'Great cook' part is still there.  Rest has evaporated.

Dr. NO

[missybuddha]

I avoided looking at this thread at first because it made me feel sad.
http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/klimt/kiss/klimt.kiss.jpg

This is how i felt with my h, the expression on her face (I look like her) was how I felt, safe, loved. intimate. friends. sharing.
h is a good cook, a creative man, funny. he was a good father and provider despite his really difficult childhood. he tried hard, was always helping people.
the fact that I had that loving relationship with a man I had children with even though it is over for now i feel blessed. the loss is great.

[Glimmer]

Words that come to mind when I think about my pre MLCer

Loving, Romantic, Handsome, Sexy, Hardworking, Best friend, Kind, Generous, Loyal, Safe, Honest, The list is endless.

People thought we were the ideal couple.  So did I.