[honour]

I like your tag line Trusting

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; the courage to change the one I can; and the wisdom to know it's me.

NC, are there risks? Risks of what? That he won't ever come back? Yes, there is that risk. But then that  risk exists with or without contact. Initiating contact can feel like pursuing to the MLCer and serve to push the MLCer away. Go no contact and they might just forget us. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place" I believe is what you say over there.

It is a very, very difficult decision whichever way you go. I have been in absolute NC since 4th Dec 2010. It was agony worrying that she was ok. Has it improved the likelihood of her return? Who can say, but on balance NC has been the least worst option for me. It has helped my recovery. I still feel a little selfish saying that it has helped me because ironically, by not calling or emailing to enquire after her I have concerns that I have abandoned her in her time of need. It is a dreadful thing not being able to care for someone you promised to always care for, but for the most part if they have decided to leave it is out of our hands.
They are adults (although while they are in replay it may not seem like it) and they have made decisions. If they need us they know where we are. We need that serenity to accept the people we cannot change.

Dig deep.

honour