[trusting]

I do think though one of the more difficult things to deal with is that a marriage needs two people that are committed to each other to enter into it, but it only takes one person to unilaterally decide that it's over and done with.

Jay, I struggle with this too. The destruction is immense. 

[In this for ME]

Whenever I get (or got) the response "life isn't fair" pisses me off to no end...and why does one person get to say it's the end???!!!
I WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT ONE PERSON GETS TO SAY IT'S THE END!!      And that's why I'm where I am right now.

It'll take me kicking and screaming and dragging me away when I EVER let someone as F'ed up as they are to say it's the end!!! I don't care that I'm legally divorced they are NOT going to walk away with the alien logic they use to justify thier own skewed sense of reality!!! Not without giving me some kind of logic that makes sense. I deserve that much. Not this "Oh I haven't been happy for years crap, or any of the other Mamby Pamby sh!t!!!!

 I also don't know what to make that all his clothes, golf clubs, shoes etc are still in our cupboards and dressers. I know it is just for convenience on his part but it is starting to annoy me.

Well if it's for HIS "convenience" no wonder it's starting to annoy you!! Have you got a spare room or a closet to put his crap in? Empower yourself and put it somewhere else.

Maybe that will rattle him around a hair and shake his  head out of  his a$$.!!!!

If he asks about what you did tell him IT"S SPRING time to rearrange and make room for other things!!

[xyzcf]

I also don't know what to make that all his clothes, golf clubs, shoes etc are still in our cupboards and dressers. I know it is just for convenience on his part but it is starting to annoy me.

It won't matter if I move it because he won't know anyway since he and I do not see one another.

I also feel like it is his stuff and he's the one who needs to go through it himself. He can remove it from our home and do whatever with it....each sock and piece of underware is his to dispose of...It's kind of a sore point for me.

For a long time, I didn't want him to come and get his stuff..because I thought it meant he might return someday...I don't really "see it"  but I also don't understand....yet I know this is quite common for other MLCers. I guess they have left this life behind so there is no need for any of it anymore.

[Mitzpah]

I agree with many here, there is no single hardest thing - maybe the length of this is the worst?
Loneliness, ongoing rejection, the consequent battering your self esteem takes...the suffering of our children and other family members - it is all very hard to take, but the sheer length of time this takes beats it all for me

[Chrysalis]

There are many things but I agree with Little Chief.  I am on my own and don't have any children.  Most of the time I don't mind being on my own but sometimes (well quite often really).     

I miss the hugs, the laughter, the companionship 

[In this for ME]

. I guess they have left this life behind so there is no need for any of it anymore.

Maybe it's a security thing for him. But if it makes you sad or keeps you stuck maybe you could think about moving it.

[learningtoexhale]

Not knowing when or if he will ever snap out of it and want to come home. Not knowing if he will ever regret the pain and suffering he put us through. Not knowing if I will ever really be happy and in-love again. Not knowing what's coming next...

[TrustingMyHP]

I have to answer this with two "hardest parts":

Not knowing how it will end (divorce/H marries OW/reconciliation/I remarry or am unmarried the rest of my life to name the most likely outcomes.) 

The lifelong fallout this will have on my D22's life.

TMHP

[With Gods Help!]

I think the hardest part for me besides the rejection and at times the loneliness is seeing my husband but knowing that no matter how try i can not reach him.......also trying to determine which mask hes wearing when i see him......yes i have detached but feel that when my h calls im constantly having to read him in order to mirror him.......i also feel the hardest thing for me to deal with is the fact that my h as made memories with o/w....i know many wont be happy..... but many will be in his messed up head ........and unless he develops amnesia he will have those memories even if they do fade........so im trying to work on that now.......xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Thundarr]

Everyone in this thread is both correct  and alike.  I think we could write each other's posts as there are so many similarities.  I have been considering packing all of W's things up but have the same reservations.  I too think it might be a sign if returning as ALL of her pictures and memorabilia are here now that I think of it.  I mean ALL.  Every yearbook, band jacket, trophy etc.  She truly is like a teenager living in a college dorm.  She's not mentioned any if it even once.  Simply bizarre.  I am tiring of having to move her stuff to put anything in a drawer as well as her clothes taking up 2/3 of the closet.  I think she checks to make sure it's still there sometimes but I don't know why.  I don't know the message she might get if I pack it up, but Stayed or one of the others might have an idea if it will make any difference or not.