[Dontgiveup]

I heard a brief MLC return story from someone I don't really know yesterday.

I was at a work related dinner and sat next to a guy, my best guess he is in his 60's.  We were just chatting....small talk.....and he asked me if I was married.  I told him no, but that I had been and gave him probably a 15 second explanation.....I did not use the term midlife crisis.

He asked me if I was hoping for reconciliation and I answered yes.  He immediately told me a story about one of his business partners.  He said his business partner's wife had a midlife crisis and moved out for two years.  She came back once and then left again (he didn't say how long she left the second time).  He said she has come back again and that his business partner has told him things are going well this time.

The speaker then began to talk, so that was the end of our conversation.

[limitless]

Another story.
This one from a customer (through work).
His wife announced right after Xmas in '09 that she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce.
Packed up the kids and moved to another state (where her family lives). 
Husband followed - so that he could be near his kids.
They divorced.
Fast forward to present.
They still see each other when they hand off the kids.
On Memorial weekend - he meet with her to exchange the kids.  She states that the biggest mistake she ever made was to divorce him.

Unfortunately - he's still angry.  Hasn't forgiven - definitely hasn't forgot.
Says that, just now, he is able to look at her and not want to wring her neck.  Says that she hurt him so deeply, he will never let anyone get close to him again.

Sounds like the wife is at the regret stage...and husband hasn't done the work - to let go of his anger and hurt  - enough to have the door open for possible reconciliation.

Crazy thing is - she obviously is not happy - he obviously is not happy.

Suggested that he take some time to release his anger.  That maybe, after he let go of the anger, he may feel differently.

Not exactly a return story - but another example where the LBS is the one making the final decision.

Limitless

[What Next]

I think this may be an MLC reconciliation story, not too sure as ironically H told me this during the week.

He has been telling me about the various places his work took him while he has been away and mentioned some of the nicest, down to earth people were at the railroads in Melbourne. During one of his visits he got talking to a man (H claims this was all unsolicited) who told H his marital tale. Wife left him for someone else when they were both in their late thirties. He was devasted and was stuck for a very long time but eventually after four years he decided to ask her for a divorce because he saw no hope and just wanted to move on.

So he rang her and he was thrown when she invited him to dinner on Christmas day, he went and somehow they talked about reconciliation rather than divorce and they have now been together for almost another 20yrs.

H told me this without blinking and when I asked him what he thought he just said it was 'odd' how the guy just opened up to him!

I give up!

[Bewildered]

Another one...

A chap I indirectly worked with had lunch with me in Jan 2008 , his invitation,and told me - (we were not friends or ever before had lunch on anything  so not close just worked on a project as part of  a wider team )...

I am leaving the city to work in London - got a new job as X and blah blah - I was amazed as his current job was very unique and prestigious and he'd been (honestly) lucky to get it as he wasn't as good at it as he should be and he earned a lot of money and the place he now worked - he was a king pin ?? So I aisled why he said he'd left his wife of 25 years and was 'in love ' with his again first girlfriend he'd reconnected with via facebook.

He had never felt so in love and happy this was the bliss hour bu hour of every day then he (inappropriate or what) told me intimate details of great the sex was - I was sat their in embarrassment and had to say OK x too much information but he was on a roll, in his world they were 17 again and she rang twice whilst we had lunch and he cooed on the phone and it was ick!!
Off he went I didn't see him for a year then I was doing some work with his new company and we met up for a coffee,  he was still in bliss ...?
Feb 2009
two months later he phoned me for some advice but he didn't leave his number and I didn't have his new mobile so it took me some time to find it and when i eventually called (also wasn't in a hurry) he poured out his drama of present day the OW had left him she said he was a selfish and spoilt man who was one dimensional ...
He was horrified and missed the coffee machine (yes that is his exact words) he was lonely and didn't know what to do .. I said just concentrate on your job and spend some time with yourself and get to do some fun things with friends in the city?
Fast forward two weeks later     
He phones he has met two women one at work and one in his apartment building he's a wreck he's in love wit them both and the sex is amazing with them both and he can't decide which one he should live with ..?

I say Oh what a dilemma and don't you think this is not a good thing? he says I know but as long as I can keep them from knowing about each other I'm good - I am thinking he is nuts and distance myself from him
June 2009
my H and I part
Jan 2010
I discover the site and forum .. i start to try and understand MLC
March 2010
He phones me again .. he has lost his job and is moving back to his old home area and has realised he loves his wife and is going to ask her to have him back .. hes been a fool
I ask about his other two women
he says Oh they were nothing just a bit of fun its my wife I want so he is so happy because he has made his mind up
I will ask Wife for forgiveness and we will be fine and dandy ..
Don't hear anything ....

Jan 2011
Friend phones me ... he saw her for a drink his life is wonderful he went to see wife and she told him No ... he was sad for a while .. but now he had a new flat and was setting up on his own and was so happy ..
June 2011
wife divorces him he has taken up with my friends friend a widow who is very shy and not used to men (as friend puts it especially not like X)    He is wining and dining her flowers chocolates etc
She adores him they are in love and are moving in together
this new relationship has been going on for 2-3 months

His wife told my friend he is crazy and she could not believe he could know on the door with suitcase and say I love you sorry can i come home ?? She said he had hurt her too much and asked him to go away
he has been difficult with her over the divorce but finally accepted it over

June 2011
He calls me he tells me he is so happy now he is with his soulmate the love of his life , etc
 I say oh good so how about X the previous loves of your life and he say , Oh no they were not they didn't make me happy I was pretending but with Y well this is honest and forever - ?? His MLC continues I guessing his wife's - No sent him reeling back into replay but my friend is worried her friend will get hurt but what can she do this MLC man is acting the prefect suitor and my guess is he needs her emotionally and financially too as she is going to pay half of everything (she says he said no but agreed it gave her independence)
the saga continues ..

[Glimmer]

I heard this from a family member of a client I visit.  This man's friend contacts him every few months for a night out.  His wife left him a number of years ago.  He tried to move on and met someone else. His WAS was not happy that he was doing exactly what she had done.  She looked for excuses to keep going back to the house, and eventually they got talking and she asked if she could come back home.

 They have apparently been 'back' together for a few years, but have not resolved their issues.  I don't know how frequently, but every so often his W leaves again, only to return a few months later to try again.  Hence this is when he contacts this man for a night out to drown his sorrows.  This man said to me that his friend had asked if he wanted to go out, so his wife must have gone again, because it is the only time he sees him.

It doesn't seem as if either of them have moved forward enough to resolve any issues.

This man told me that he can't remember a time when they have not been like this. How sad that they obviously want to be together, but have no idea how to work through their problems.

[Dontgiveup]

So....spent some time with my friend.  He shared a few things about recent contact with his ex-wife.

She has mentioned that she is not getting along well with her family, and has no friends.  She also no longer likes the area she lives in and says she is lonely.  Several weeks ago, she told him about her regrets.  She has cut back a little on frequency of communication with my friend.

I told him if I had to guess, it sounds like the light at the end of the tunnel has become visible.  I don't know for certain, but she seems to be now seeing the consequences of her behavior......she is seeing the damage.

Stay tuned.

[rover77]

Interesting stories.

[Gardenia]

I do not know any of the details here but this was in my inbox from a friend. . . . . . .


**There is a common thread that I see in the restored marriages..."uncondtional love". You first have to surrender yourself to God, then surrender your spouse to God, and then you love them with the love that JESUS loves...No accusations, No ultimatums, No threats, No demands! You just love them and expect God to bring them home because:......LOVE NEVER FAILS!~~~~ XXXXXXX~
 
One day we received a phone call from a couple asking if they could stop by on their honeymoon. Of course they could! We were thrilled!
We had been standing with Ann for 8 years. Her husband had divorced her and married another woman with whom he had several children. Ann and her children had been waiting for Daddy to come home, even though this is not a popular stand. But, God's Word does say, I will make them one flesh, and they will never again be two. So she waited and prayed.
One night she received a phone call from her husband Bill, asking if he could come visit her and the children. His second wife had left him, and one day as he was watching "700 Club" he recommitted his life to Christ. WHen he called them, they advised him to seek God's guidance. The more he read the Word and prayed, the more he became convinced that Ann was the wife of his youth and his only wife.
When Bill visited Ann and the children, he got down on his knees and asked her to remarry him. She was ecstatic when she called us that same evening to tell us the news. They were remarried by a justice of the peace, because as Bill declared, "The state took us apart, the state can put us back together." And together they are. Bill's children from his second marriage visit them regularly.

God does bring beauty from Ashes!!!

[Rookie13]

Welcome Rover! It's Tim, lol. I still pop on LT but for some reason I can't post as the "captcha" doesnt appear at the bottom any more? any ideas on that?

Anyways, great MLC site here!

[LettingGo]

Rookie... you should be posting here.... LG