[LearningIamOk]

keep the stories coming.  My H just told me he is dating.  I am devastated, but should have expected it.  He texted me by mistake and that's how I found out.  I am not sleeping now and need reassurance that even tho' he is doing this, that there is hope that we will reconcile.

[Tsunami]

So sorry trying.  I know if I heard that from my husband, my heart would drop; however it seems most of them do find an alienator.  I'm sorry you are going through this; he is unable to love in his state of mind, it's a fantasy for him.  I pray all of us have the opportunity to reconcile.

(((Trying2bok)))

[LearningIamOk]

Tsunami, thank you for your sympathies.  I am trying to deal with this news and it is gut wrenching.  He is test driving other women to take my place and that is something I didn't expect to happen.  If he was so unhappy in our relationship and needed to be by himself, why is he looking for a replacement in four months.  He kept telling me over and over that he would be happy by himself.  I guess he lied to himself about that.

[Tsunami]

Men need women more than we need them!

[Mamma Bear]

 Tsunami ,   Did you send me a PM? Last week? I tried to reply on there but I kept getting an error message and couldn't Sorry I wanted to.
   PLus I'm a techno peasant and couldn't figure out how to email you. 

[What Next]

T2B,

I am so sorry to hear that, I have to confess it is my biggest dread not because I don't think it will happen but because I don't know if I could handle that yet or ever.

I agree with Tsunami, men need women more, in any guise! I hope you rally to this new MLC challenge,it's so wrong.

X

[heartbroken]

My husband left in February.  Said all the usual, ILUBINILWU.  Swore there was no one else.  Felt like he was missing out on things.  Was going to be alone.  I believed him.  Last week I hired a PI.  He leased a house with OW before he told me he was done with our marriage.        They moved right in together.  I am having a very hard time dealing with this.  He has only known her since Oct..  They met at work.  She was new.   I think they probably started flirting in Dec. and 2 months later there living together.  How does a husband give up 24 years for someone he's only known a couple of months.  I am sorry but this is devastating. 

[Mamma Bear]

 We have to keep reminding each other it's part of the process. He's following the script. It's not normal. Unbelievable is what it is.
 Thank God we have each other to help us get back up.
  If it makes you feel any better my H ran away from me and my Ds on Valentine's Day this year.
  I was clueless. Now I've learned OW (where he lives)used to work at a convenience store .She's our age and he thought she was married when he went to leave some of his amps and guitars there in an effort to move out. Then she says"I'm not married I'm divorced." Whamo They are in LOVE. OK? sure.
  Be the best you that you can be!! Don't think about that band aid. You'll be fine THEY WON"T

[hopefulone]

a story of "return" that hits close to home for me - not a happy ending

My dad started his mlc when he was in his early 40's, he started drinking more and more heavily, blamed my mother for so many things, appeared he hated her very existence.  The drinking became chronic and his behavior more violent, never hit us but man did we learn how to dodge things.  I was around 11 when it started, at 27 just a few  months before my own wedding, i caught him with another woman at a local store, he didn't see me so i followed him and ow to her house.  I didn't tell my mom rightaway, but a few days later caught him in the middle of one of his fits...i took down a suitcase and told him pack.  My mom asked why  I said it's enough he is "sick" but he cheats too.  Well my mom took it well considering it was over 34 yrs of marriage, but she agreed pack and we'll talk later she said.  Just before my wedding they got divorced and he married the ow.  We didn't stay in close contact but we watched as my father's health deteriorated.  Til one day i get the nerve to call him to tell him of my first pregnancy, but he would not answer the phone.   I asked my big brother to check on him,, found my dad living in the garage apt of the ow's house severely malnourished (due to the drinking he had to use a tube to feed himself)  My brother brings him to the hospital and tells my mom...in the end my dad apologized to my mom, she said forgave him everyday he hurt her.  The ow never came to the hospital and had signed over a POW and faxed it.  My dad died in my mother's arms, i arrived at the hospital just a few moments after.  Yes cheaters do come home, but some just so very late...

[Shantilly Lace]

I know it's not the return we hope for but it goes to show that the fear can just keep them away.
How many are there like that?
Who had no hope and just gave up?  No help no support.

And that they do feel it even if we never believe it.