[Alwaysthere]

Just my thoughts on the bi-polar reference.  My H may be different than others but this fits well.  He was actually diagnosed b-polar but did not believe it.   However, I feel it ramped up to MLC.  This is different now.

Is it possible that others had bi-polar tendencies and it manifests itself due to hormonal changes of aging?  Similar to adult onset diabetes.

MLCers do hit manic and depressive stages.  Touch and go and boomerangs.  I can almost put my H's cycles on a calendar now. 

[Anjae]

Is it possible that others had bi-polar tendencies and it manifests itself due to hormonal changes of aging?  Similar to adult onset diabetes.

Not sure about the hormones but think the imbalance in the neurotransmitters can magnifie something that was pre-existent but not problematic. After all, depression and bipolarity are a result of low or imbalanced levels of the neurotransmitters. Would say that with low or imbalanced levels of neurotransmitters plus hormones running wild, there is a recipe for disaster. 

[Ready2Transform]

Just my thoughts on the bi-polar reference.  My H may be different than others but this fits well.  He was actually diagnosed b-polar but did not believe it.   However, I feel it ramped up to MLC.  This is different now.

My identical experience.  Was yours on SSRIs too?  If so, what was his experience?

[Alwaysthere]

R2T

I believe he felt stifled.  Deeper depression.  Maybe felt "normal" by our terms and that doesn't feel right to him.  H says things that make me think he is resigned to feeling different and wants to go with that.   Happier not trying to act normal or the way he believes he needs to for me.

Not really happy now though either. Self medicating and trying to escape.

[theheartknows]

Weighing in on Covert Depression:

Isn't it commonly accepted, or at least oftentimes expressed by a few observant folks that Men have a particular fear of being diagnosed with depression, as it seems like a stigma, or an attack on their manhood, and a critique of their value as a provider, etc.? Isn't it true that Covert Depression is Anger, Rage, Irritability, all these things they do to cover up and fight the depression?

The story you relate, Thundarr, about the woman and her bipolar H actually feels very similar to standing from my viewpoint, only longer term (and more inline with a wallower/no affair - though the car seems the fixation that may replace it).  It's curious to me that you compared your W to the wife in this case, and not the husband.   

   Oops, made a mess of the quote process. I was trying to reply to Ready 2 to say ditto on the "Manhood" thing with my H. My H's favorite children's book was "Ferdinand the Bull," because he was just like Ferdinand...would rather smell the flowers than be confrontational. Had no problem showing weakness, emotions, making mistakes. This has now become forbidden. Now he is like some bad masculine wanna be. In fact, it is almost like he is acting out society's crappiest male stereotype.
    Anyway, Thundarr, I appreciate your search for answers. Very thought-provoking. It is interesting to think about the different possibilities and play them out in my mind. However, I tend to be a big picture person and get my best answers when looking at very broad patterns and trends.
    It seems to me that we (on this post) are the forefront of MLC  becoming part of our culture's consciousness. Like the child who was sat in the corner with the dunce cap (who we would now approach with concerns about ADHD, a learning disability, or a combination of many issues) the MLCer is still being defined by what we do not understand.
    We have no choice but to navigate MLC with the tools and knowledge that have been handed down to us. In this way, I believe that Erikson's Stages and Jungian Archetypes, and other psychological theories are helpful. But I think we have to be careful not to confine what we have experienced personally by any of these.
   There has never been a time in our history before that circumstances have allowed MLC to be so out of the closet. We are free to talk about issues that people in earlier decades fought to take to the grave. We understand much more about how the body functions chemically. And we have the internet...this incredible ability to communicate, compare and discuss our experiences with others.
     I think we (on this site,) right now are unraveling some of the questions that will bring a new understanding to all of this. I believe that  MLC will eventually have a place in the DSM IV and we are helping it to get there!
I relate to this in my sitch.  "Manhood" has become some sort of major issue for him, and showing the so called weakness of depression (or anything emotional) as he had no trouble doing in the past, is totally off limits. 

[calamity]

We have no choice but to navigate MLC with the tools and knowledge that have been handed down to us. In this way, I believe that Erikson's Stages and Jungian Archetypes, and other psychological theories are helpful. But I think we have to be careful not to confine what we have experienced personally by any of these.

Agree.

[Ready2Transform]

We have no choice but to navigate MLC with the tools and knowledge that have been handed down to us. In this way, I believe that Erikson's Stages and Jungian Archetypes, and other psychological theories are helpful. But I think we have to be careful not to confine what we have experienced personally by any of these.

Agree.

Ditto. 

[NewAttitude]

I am still trying to dissect this discussion.  I have a general question.  What makes MLC different from a major depressive disorder, bi-polar depression, etc...Or is it the same thing but just has a name for it?  Sorry, I know this seems basic and maybe is a dumb question but I am not sure why it's MLC instead of 'depression' etc..

[Ready2Transform]

I am still trying to dissect this discussion.  I have a general question.  What makes MLC different from a major depressive disorder, bi-polar depression, etc...Or is it the same thing but just has a name for it?  Sorry, I know this seems basic and maybe is a dumb question but I am not sure why it's MLC instead of 'depression' etc..

It's not a dumb question at all.  I woke up with the same thing on my mind.  I think the label makes it more easily found or communicated by us LBSs, but I'm not sure, given what the cliches about it are, that it really serves the disorder from a mental health standpoint.  Will be interested to hear others' thoughts on this!

[calamity]

I think mlc IS a major depressive disorder but, the differences are the 'manic' aspect of the replayers, & of course the link to ageing.  I am not sure if abandoning family, friends, jobs etc are part of our usual understanding of depression.