I feel the more I post, the more invisible I become. Is that and MLC thing? Thundarr?
Anyway, my neurosis aside, I had an interesting "interview" with H-pyre last night. We went out to dinner.
I started a conversation about this idea:
His explanation was that issues were always fluid and never truly resolved OR unresolved as the impact of their presence will vary across different settings and circumstances. There is no way to measure that an issue will have no psychological impact.
and
We commonly refer to not resolving the crisis of a particular stage and revisiting it later in order to resolve said crisis. His assertion is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not resolve the crisis of a stage that you are moving through. Also, each stage is affected by how the ones before it were resolved and each of them continue on until death.
And I went so far as to say I thought of a march of identity transformations in a line originally, which is rather two or three dimensional, (length is two dimensions, time would add a third, maybe there is depth so let's just say 4 dimensional) But then now I think it more apt considering the ideas here to think of it as that multi-level chess game...multi-dimensional...not linear. Cyclical perhaps, where a previously visited resolution is re-visited in combination with a current one...and the person does not progress in a linear fashion whatsoever but re-accumulates new and old experiences.
Well, regardless of whether I made sense, my H started talking about
the guy who talks to himself on the bus. He was using this guy as a way of talking about himself as an MLCer. This guy, he says, may seem socially unacceptable, or exhibiting socially unacceptable behavior, but is he really hurting anyone? (This, Thundarr, is sort of like that Functional Alcoholic idea...if the guy is able to get from point A to point B, who cares how drunk he is while he does it? right?). He said that it should be irrelevant how much society approves or disapproves of the [schizophrenic-type] behavior. I said
EVEN if when you follow hiim home you find yourself in a horder's nest, and he can't even feed himself? That got H off into a new example: His mother. Now his mother at the moment is pursuing a lawsuit against the Federal Government. Her father-in-law died of throat cancer (probably due to smoking) but he used to work in a nuclear facility in Tennessee. Everyone who ever worked there was awarded some large sum of money as part of a class-action lawsuit or something, and if they were dead, the money went to their next of kin. Even though her husband's brother received this money, she is trying to prove that she deserves the money as the spouse of the victim's deceased son. (Her husband, my H's father, was dead when the money was distributed). As a result of her impossible pursuit, her entire living room is covered with papers, piles of papers, every room in the house in fact, and has been for years. She is no closer to resolving this issue for her self or the government than she was when she started. But she does it, my H contends, as part of a way of processing pain that is
right for her. She is not hurting anyway, so why intervene? Why would she need medication? Why would she need therapy? This is her therapy. My husband's brother disagrees and believes a family intervention is needed.
Again this is an example that was used by my H as another way to talk about his MLC. He is not really sick, he doesn't really have a disease, he is functional. And, he is adamant, he is not hurting anyone else. This is just his way of processing, and he has to do it, because it's right for him.
I can't argue. I can only detach. And oddly, I got a sense that maybe, JUST MAYBE, one day, he will come home.
Feedback on MLC from an expert
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